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15.
Humanoid in appearance, but primative and animalistic in nature, chavs are fast becoming the bane of humanity. Now all but classified as a completely seperate species, chavs took the left of the fork on the road of evolution when everybody else went right. Today, chavs can be seen in almost every urban area of Britain. Easily identified by either their baseball caps, hooped sports sweaters, excess Burberry and impossibly colourful Nike trainers (male) or scraped back frizzy hair, earrings you could train a dolphin to jump through, cheap leggings and Reebok Classics (female), chavs hunt in packs. Unlike other species, chavs hunt for cigarettes and bus fare instead of food. Food is always obtained at fast food establishments such as McDonalds, or convenience stores (Spar, Late Shop). It is quite common for food to be thrown instead of eaten, with the chav preferring his / her fags and cider / Lambrini (charver cava). Chavs are normally hostile towards humans, particularly those who favour alternative music, whom they have branded "moshers" or "grungers". A chav's music collection is limited. Hip-hop and hardcore for the males, Britney and trance for the females. Dogs (the more volatile, the better), mobile phones, cheap or fake gold and "souped-up" (debadged) 1990's Vauxhall Novas are must-have accessories. Note: the above description typifies the average chav, but there are actually quite a few varieties. Be sure to look for them at any of the following locations: McDonalds, Burger King, Spar, Late Shop, Primark, TK-Maxx, any sportswear retailer or any local park (after 6pm). Examples of a chav's primative vocabulary are as follows:
Chav: Eeyar yo! Mosha! Gotta spare cig?
Brian: No, I don't smoke.
Chav: Wha' ya mean no, ya f*kin' mosha? Ah spark ya!
Brian: Go on then...
Chav: Yo Trace! (emerging from Mothercare) Pass us me mob so I can fone ya bruv!
Trace: Why, ya f*kin dick'ed?
Chav: So he can tune diss chav for me!
Trace: Got no credit, yo!
Trace's baby: <crying>
Trace: Shut it ya little fucka!
by Eenar December 07, 2004
 
16.
Twats,
They enjoy partaking in antisocial behavior,
They enjoy white lightening
They tuck their tracksuits into their socks to save money if they become ankle swingers,
They are more hated than any other social group in the UK
Lets stand on a street corner and drink white lightening while shouting abuse at some old lady through a stolen traffic cone
by Snitchio June 11, 2005
 
17.
A person who A) Wears tracksuits at all times, fake Burberry caps, gold jewellry (the chunkier and less tasteful the better) rolls their trouser legs up to reveal their ankles/pulls their socks up over their trouser legs; if female has a bottled tan, large hoop earrings, hair tied up rediculously tight so as to actually distort the natural shape of their face.
B)Hangs around on estates, parks, high streets, outside McDonalds or in childrens playgrounds whilst drinking White Lightning cider, gossiping about either East Enders, Coronation Street, I'm a Celebrity..., the ugly swine they got off with the night before or how 4 of them beat the crap out of a lone "Greebo/Grunger"
C) Has a self imposed inabilty to say words of more than two sylables, brought about by purposefully ignoring all attempts by the State to educate them.
The most common example to be easily found of a Chav is outside your local McDonalds, or in the nearest park, sitting around the bench closest to the football pitch(if one is present).

Celebrity examples of the breed include Wayne Rooney, and Mel C.
by CrouchingPanda February 21, 2005
 
18.
From the French ‘Chave Act’ of 1217AD. In direct response to the Holy Roman Empire’s policy of over breeding among the evolutionary challenged (See ‘Missing Link), the 3 economic superpowers of Europe, (Germany, France and Britain) signed the ‘Act’ in an attempt to maintain ‘Pikey’ numbers within their states at a manageable level.

The basic premise was the rotational hosting of wars (See ‘Culls’) and distribution of ‘Social Diseases’ in order to regularly prune back numbers.

However, since 1945 the Act has fallen into disuse due to the excessive pressures of the Liberals (See STDs) and vain attempts to bring new regional partners within the Act to re-empower it have not been a success.

The net result is that levels are at an epidemic status and these bog dwelling, descendents of leper faeces are swelling out from their natural habit and invading ever social corner of the British Isles.
Get off my land, Chav. Release the hounds, Winthrop.
by Lord Palmerston January 13, 2004
 
19.
A bunch of white kids who think they are hardcore gangsters from the ghettos and listen to "phat beats" such as Blazin' Squad and So Solid Crew, which they think is gangster music, when it is no more than pop music with annoying "raps" and "beats". They are usually popular at school and go around acting "propa hard" beating up and pushing around anyone that's not popular or a chav like them. They also like to call anyone that likes rock music a "goff" "mosha" or "grunga". Avoid these mindless fuckwits at any chance you can.

See wigger
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by Blahb May 03, 2005
 
20.
A human with a very little brain. Can be recognised by their fake burberry, socks tucked into "sports label" trousers and endless tacky gold jewllery (mainly bought from Argos!). These primitive people are offten seen swearing,smoking and lobbing things at random people. Pity they can't see how lame they really are!
Just go into your local town centre there should be al least a gang of 8 hanging around a McDonalds somewhere....
by Anon November 15, 2003
 
21.
Regional variations

charver, scalley, ned, chor.

A social underclass par excellence. The absolute dregs of modern civilization, each one a near clone in IQ (the lowest possible whilst still exhibiting brain stem function), attitude, diet, dress sense, uselessness, abusiveness and complete lack of any sense of decorum.

Likely to be found in congregations outside McDonalds, endlessly smoking cheap cigarettes whilst sporting burberry clothes, masses of cheap 9ct gold jewelry from Argos/Index, baseball caps worn at 90 degrees. Female chavs can be identified from their hair, invariably worn pulled back into the tightest possible configuration and secured with at least 5 "scrunchies".

Unable to converse in any high form of language and too lazy to communicate the limited vocabulary they have properly.

The only good chav is dead one. The only thing better than that is a mass grave full of dead chavs and a 24 hour work crew making way for more...
whodya think your'e lookin at? Ah'll batter ya, y' f***in' div!

(then runs to get older brother at first sign of trouble)
by Jefferson Betamax August 23, 2004