Chavs are the scum of the earth, the lowest social class. They are a bunch of immature anti-social twats who have nothing better to do than try and appear hard using the following methods:

*SMOKING
*Wearing big thick (fake) gold chains around their necks, usually out side of their shirt.
*Burberry.. enough said
*Wearing hoodies and caps so that people and (more importantly) security cameras cannot see their ugly faces.
*They vandalize and graffiti walls and cars.
*They start fights on anyone different to them, but only if they are in a large group, a lone chav will always back down and run off to get his big brother if he finds himself confronted 1 on 1.
*They sit on street corners smoking and drinking cheap cider and shouting at people and smashing beer bottles on the pavement (if they were able to steal their dads Stella).
*They are so stupid that the stereotype anyone who hates them as an emo, chavs have a blind hatred for emos because of the way they dress. This is because chavs are to fucking retarded to figure out that people dont hate them for what they wear, while they do look ridiculous, chavs are mainly hated for being thugs and vandals rather than what they wear. Unlike chavs, emos dont do anything wrong but chavs just like to make themselves feel as if they are superior to someone. Chavs also hate rockers/moshers but dont start fights with them because they would get the shit kicked out of them.

CHAV TRANSPORT:

They buy a shitty car and spend loads of money modifying it to the point that they could have just bought a decent car for the same money.
Common chav cars include: Fiesta,Escort, Corsa,Nova,106,306,AX,Saxo.
Common modifications to cars include:
Rear lexus lights, big exhausts, spoilers, body kits, big alloys and the essential:
STEREO/SPEAKER SYSTEM, this usual consists of a cheap CD player, 2 6x9 speakers (4 if they managed to rob enough money from Spar) and a crappy sub that blasts out distorted drum nd bass beats as they drive past. (if you can hear it over the horrible noise from their massive exhaust).

FEMALE CHAVS:
*Dumb ugly bitches who get pregnant before they even reach 16. They will raise a baby at about 17 and as a result the baby will become another chav contributing noting to society.
*They think they can get away with anything because they use their boyfriends as a threat to boss people around even tho their boyfriend is some pussy chav who isn't going to do shit.

Chavs in society:

*Chavs are frowned upon by every other social group, and they are the only social group to hate other social groups because they are to thick to understand why they are hated.
*Female chavs are always getting pregnant and neglecting their children resulting in the spreading of the chav population.
*Chavs are the most hated group of people in Europe.

Chavs and the law:

*Killing chavs is not against the law because scientists have discovered that a chavs IQ is to low for it to be a living being.
*Fortunately this does not stop police from putting ASBOs on them and even sending their asses to prison.

Chav status:
A chavs status in the group depends on the following factors:

How many ASBOs they have had
How many emos they have beaten up
How many older brothers they have
Bonus points if their older brothers are in the army
How old their older brothers are
How many times hey have gotten their 14 year old girlfriend pregnant.
How much money they have spent on modifying their car
How loud their car stereo is (reguardless of the horrible distortion)
How many different kinds of drugs they have done, higher points for higher class drugs.

REQUIREMENTS TO BECOME A CHAV:
You have to smoke
You have to have a shit car
You need to have beaten someone up or had ur brother beat someone up.
You need "bling"
A taste for hip-hop and hardcore is a must.
You have to wear hoodies and baseball caps, burberry
material is preferred
You have to hate emos

Picture this a young lad about 12 years of age and 4 ½ feet high baseball cap at ninety degrees in a imitation addidas tracksuit, with trouser legs tucked into his socks (of course, is definitely the height of fashion). This lad is strutting around, fag in one hand jewellery al over the over, outside McDonalds acting as if he is 8 foot tall and built like a rugby player, when some poor unsuspecting adult (about 17/18) walks round the corner wanting to go to mcdonalds for his dinner glances at the young lad, the young lad jumps up in complete disgust and says “Whats your problem? Wanna make sommin of it? Bling Bling” when the adult starts to walk towards the young lad, the young lad pisses himself and runs off to either his pregnant 14-year-old girlfriend or his brother in the army crying his eyes out.

Derived from Chatham in Kent, this term can be applied loosely to every culture with a nasty, thieving element. There are many variants of this creature but all are subject to the following commonalities:

Chavs are completely Amoral, having never been subjected to right and wrong by their inattentive, uncaring and often absent parents.

Chavs are part Magpie, evidentially supported by their love of all things shiny, or as vaccuous, illiterate street-slang would say 'Bling'. They can be seen twokking from the Jewelry counter in Argos/Index.

Whatever their ethnic background, Chavs have a built-in affinity to hip-hop/R&B, even if they are inherently racist (see the Scottish). They see their life as glamorous and cool.

Chavs are for the most part, extremely stupid. However, some of them render a form of low cunning, which can be misinterpreted as intelligence. However this is false. A Chav has no desire to better themself through honest means nor learn anything outside of car modification.

All chavs think that they are nails. Again, this is false. Sitting in a beaten up nova smoking lamberts does not precipitate a healthy body. The irony being that a Chav owns mainly sportswear, yet will ...

Chav - Sub species of human

Commonly thought to be of inferior intellect, the Chavette surprises us with its cunning plan to avoid taking up a professional career and provide itself with free accommodation supplied by tax payers by spawning multi coloured mini chavs at a early stage in life, usually mid teens.
Clearly recognisable by their distinctive tribal Burberry they congregate in town centres and on street corners, Chavs have a reputation of being creative with public property and motor vehicles, building themselves Chaviots out of mechcano sets and strip lighting, and providing us with humorous banta written on toilet walls like ‘Shit’ and ‘Tasha woz ere’ in an attempt to relieve our boredom while urinating.
Their language is a basic form of English thus avoiding any words they cannot spell or pronounce, even to the extent of creating new words only they know the meaning of.
Hunting in large groups Chavs will single out the weakest, smallest prey and attack it without mercy avoiding any personal injury and insuring victory.
Chavs unfortunately don't yet fall into the category of rodent and in effect cannot be bludgeoned to death under the guise of pest control. Darn!-
I think I speak for everyone when I say thank you Chavs for the great contribution you’ve made to this country, you’ve made it what it what it is today – a shit hole.

Chav can be a noun, verb or an adjective. As in “you shitty scum chav”, or “Hey I like the way you have chavved up ya car/wardrobe/lifestyle/language” etc.

The origins of the word itself are unclear and there are a few theories, perhaps all of them correct. Nonetheless, the current criteria for being a chav applies as laid out in this dictionary and no doubt, as culture dumbs-down even more, the definition will need to be updated. Chavs will no doubt eventually, despite their in-bred lack of intelligence, cotton-on to the fact that burberry and it’s current associations foster great hatred and negativity amongst the majority of the population. This factor however, could backfire, as Chavs could consider the perpetuation of hatred and negativity as a great contribution to humanity, even if it is directed towards themselves from others.

The most recent example of a celebrity Chav is Kenzie in Big Brother. (I can’t remember the name of the boy-band he is in – so uncool – but I know it had the word “Crew” or “Squad” whatever, in the name). In fact, Kenzie actually said “no” initially to being in the BB house, but when he thought long and hard about it, decided to say yes as the word “brother” as in, “bruv-va” or “bruv” for short, sounded cool and he thought it would really do wonders for his street-cred. Kenzie is actually white, but to see his clothes and hear him speak, you would think he is black.

Chavism represents a cultural link with the Trailer Park Tra...

Oh the simple Chav, what a constant source of amusement you are!
Chavs are the dregs of human existence. They live merely to piss everyone else off with their love of crap clothing and manky gold jewellery.
They have taken the wearing of tracksuits and baseball caps to a new level of pikieness.
Chav girls (or chavettes) commonly sport the Croydon Facelift (hair pulled back in a bun so tight that it pulls their faces tight) with at least 6 dangly faux-gold earings in each ear. Also often seen pushing a pram round shopping centers while chain-smoking and wearing fake burberry or nasty velour tracksuits. A favourite accessory is a hideous gold articulated clown dangling from a thick gold chain around their pimply acne scarred necks.
Male chavs hang around in gangs spitting alot and trying to start fights with small children or anyone else that they could easily overpower (which really is just small children!). Once they are of driving age they obtain a clapped out old Nova or Metro and then spend a fortune (no one knows where this money comes from, it is one of the many mysteries of the chav) "maxing it up" with big wheels, sound systems and a huge "wanker pipe" exhaust. Chavs can be seen in any copy of Max Power magazine proudly displaying their efforts at automotive design - tossers !!!

Emerging British subculture which is quickly becoming an epidemic. Chavs can be found the length and breadth of the country, hanging around any junk food outlet, off licence or just hanging around the streets, where they pass the time by vandalising property, drinking cheap cider, shouting abuse at passers by and terrorising old people.

Appearance: Chavs have a strict dress code. Designer labels are everything, although knocked off/fake items are almost de-rigeur. Typically, the male chav will wear a Nickelson or Schott hooded top, baggy tracksuit trousers, white designer trainers, and a baseball cap by burberry or Nike. The female chav (chavette) will have peroxide blonde hair scrunched so tight into a pony tail with colourful scrunchies that her forehead stretches. She will wear a dark blue tracksuit with white stripes, an enormous puffa jacket, hoop earrings, and white trainers. Female chavs are forbidden from wearing socks, and all chavs must wear as much fake gold jewellery as they can fit on their bodies. Mobiles are an added status symbol, and when equipped, the chav must shout into it in the most anti-social way possible, using at least one expletive and the word "innit" per second. Every other word in between should be unrecognisable to non-chavs.

Cars: Typically the Vauxhall Nova, but could include Ford Escort/Orion, Vauxhall Astra, and for chavs with "bling", even a totally shagged 3 series BMW. Whatever the type of car, it must have a spoiler shaped plank...

The male of the species, the 'chav', is often to be found lurking in braying packs close to fast food outlets or late night stores. It displays a distinctive livery with which it attempts to attract the female ('chavette') - most commonly, the Burberry-effect baseball cap (placed at a jaunty angle, sometimes partially covering the face - this is known in some cultures as 'snidey'); the 'sports' clothing (this is somewhat confusing as the chav is not renowned for its athletic abilities) and countless items of 'bling' (Chav patois meaning jewellery or other adornments). The origins of said 'bling' are various as the chav typically possesses neither a means of employment or indeed any type of education. Chavettes, meanwhile, tend to have hair in at least two colours, ill-fitting tops and white tracksuit tops (usually Kappa). Note their ornate 'love bites': tribal cicatrices around the neck, usually perpetrated by a near-toothless male known as Kev, Daz, Gaz, Baz, Tez or some other monosyllabic name.

Health and Education

Chavs can often be seen smoking - an activity which causes them to spit and cough, but only in public places (see above). They imbibe alcohol, normally in the form of cheap lager / cider normally obtained illegally. This often gives them the impression that they are 'hard' and they will thus attempt to start fights with anyone/thing smaller than them. However, upon retaliation of their prey they tend to run away.

Chavs are, believe it or not, to be fo...