Gah...those chavs really do suck.

You can look at them in two ways; one being the non biased way and te other being the biased. I'm gonna pick the biased way cause chavs just suck ass. And if they don't they want to.

TYPICAL NAMES: Michelle, Kelly, Brooke, Zoe, Ella ect (nothing too intelectual)or jack, Tom, Chris, Scott (once again, simple.)

AGES: One group can range between 11-15 whilst the other is the older, more 'hardcore' group of 16-21 year olds.

WHEREABOUTS: Local market, Macdonals, Police cell, Park, Bus Stop, Police car, Dodgy 24 hour off-license or in big groups on the highstreet harrassing greebos.

DEFINITIONS:
Female chav: Straightened hair or hair pulled so tight its the croyden facelift effect, good skin ONLY because they use like half a pot of stolen concealer, either incredibly skinny or fat but pretends not to be, miniskirt and short tanktop or white tracksuit bottoms and matching tracksuit jacket with a white or baby pink/baby blue tank-top underneath, nike trainers which are scarily clean, three ear piercing, each with thick gold hoops adorning them, and possibly a diamond earring in the cartalidge. There will be gold rings on each finger, possibly up to 20 on each hand, and numerous amount of necklaces, but one being boyfriends thick gold chain and a moving clown necklace from argos, and not forgetting the essex/london accent that is made worse, and the shouting and the bottle of white lightning and/or beer attached to hand.

Male Chav: Ew. There is a choice of a skinhead with a little bit of stubble or spikey hair if your white, but if your black its either skinhead or cornrows. White tracksuits ONLY, and wollen socks that the trousers are tucked into and the perma white trainers on show. Only one diamond earring is required, and if they are old enough some form of stubble is grown, and finally, a deep voice, which doesnt matter about the accent but cocnkey or Essex is usually known in male chavs but less important for them to maintain, unlike female chavs.

CARRYING: Females carry push chairs wih babies in, or after six pm its a bottle of white lightning or malibu, whilst males deck themselfs with attractive knifes and baseball bats.

DANGERS: Everything about them. Breathe near one of them and if you ain't a chav you'll probably get knifed. Best to avoid eye contact with female chavs otherwise they will assume you are 'evilling' them.

LIKES:
female: Baby called Brooklyn/Romeo/Cassie/Michelle, White ligntning,pure vodka,alcopops, MacDonalds, shouting highpitched, dance music.

male: Knifes, Baseball bats, Burberry caps, beer, Shouting at lone greebos, saying innit.

DISLIKES:

Female: Greebos, Police, not being allowed out to reck havoc.

Male: Greebos.

CONCLUSION: They're just twats in general, thinking people like them when they really should just jump off the nearest cliff.
Chav: So yeh innit mate let scat to maccy d's nd see if the rest of da crew are there innit and if anybody is startin on me or ma bird they are ognna get here 'ead kicked so lets move!
Girlfriend: -highpitched- Aiiite!!!! look at that greebow ova there ohmigawd she just gave me evails!!!

Greebo: -looks over- Um...what? -mutters underbreath- Retarded chavs.

Girlfriend: -higherpitched- Whatttt did she just say?! What did YEW just say to mai?!
by Robyn Cator September 01, 2006
First of all, someone already said that it originates from chatham in kent. I myself have the diespleasure of living in Chatham, so i know wat i'm talking about. Dumb. thats what a chav is. a dumb stupid sheep who follws the fashion sense of a drunk because his crack-dealing dad and his prozzie mum can afford the bling and the burberry. for some reason they think they should be worshipped as gods due to their dangerously angled hats. can be referred to as "scallies" "kevs" and sometimes "townies".

Clean up britain. Kill a chav today.
+ I iz not a chav mate, innit?
+ i'm not your mate
by jack bean November 21, 2004
Chavs are cunts! It has to be said once and for all. They are the lowest scummiest form of life and Britain would be a better, less crime filled place without them. Also anyone who they see who isn't a chav is a grunger! That is fucking ridiculous!!!
I have long hair and i am a keen guitar player. That makes me a grunger according to chavs. Oh yeh, i also have been told i have a mullet, afro, i'm a hippi and i'm in the hair bear bunch...
Complete bunch of wankers!!!
by Paul January 17, 2004
Chav = Council House And Violent
Sheesh, what's with all the chavs?
by Chavs Annoy Me June 30, 2005

Let's just simply say... the biggest gang of twat-faced douchebags you are ever likely to meet.

They think burberry is "da bomb"...

...newsflash... it just isn't.

Also see Chavettes aka. just a bunch of fugly orange-faced spoonheads who are likely to:

*get on your fucking nerves!

*flunk their grades

*think that vanilla ice is "cool"

*use the word "fuckin'" in every sentance

*have huge egos

*play their crappy music from their cellphones... they
usually do this on the back of a bus... they think it actually sounds good

*they think that referring to the fake, gold, "make your neck turn green" crap they wear around their neck as "bling" makes them sound good

*mouth off at you for no apparent reason in a language normal people cannot define

*spit all over the damn pavement so it gets on your shoes

*spit on you from a higher place (lets say... a balcony)

*just fucking spit everywhere
Example of chavs language: aint seen ya in fuckin' time, where ya fuckin' bin, fuckin' this, fuckin' that.

Advice:

*DO NOT BECOME ONE

*JUST DON'T LISTEN TO THEM... EVEN IF YOU DO THINK YOU UNDERSTAND THEM... TRUST ME... YOU DON'T
by Emma aka. Chica!!! April 12, 2006
The Chav is a rare breed of imbecile who communicate to each other through incomprehensible grunts.
They can usually only be fully understood by other Chav's and will rarely acknowledge anybody in a friendly manner out of their own 'crew' with anything other than a firm nod and the occasional "rate" as if to ask the recipient if they are "alright today".
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Females Chavs:

Insist on wearing giant hoop earrings of a colossal size made out of some cheap gold equivalent that turns their skin green.
Their necks accommodate the dreaded "Sovereign" necklace with an engraved picture of someone that they actually know nothing about.
They like to wear velvet tracksuits consisting of pastel shades usually with some kind of untrue motif on the back stating something like "Princess Forever".
They have not done their make up correctly unless their face is a ghastly shade of orange which makes them look like they've been spawned by two Umpa-Lumpa's from Mr Wonka's chocolate factory.
- - - - -
Their hair is usually one of three styles:

1/. Scraped back into a ridiculously tight pony tail and secured with 10 thousand scrunchies.
that went out with the Spice Girls. They then finish the common female 'Charver Barnett' by using 5 cans of cheap sticky hair spray to turn their fringes into a rock.
- - - - -
2/. They sometimes claim to have gone to Tony & Guy for a hair cut even though everyone around them knows that they are a crappy liar because of 2 things:

a/. Their Dole money won't cover a hair cut in that place unless their kids are fed on 9 pence baked beans out of the tin.. AGAIN.

b/. Their hair looks like they used the bathroom bleach on it religiously everyday for the past year. It resembles the straw from Farmer Briggs field that they walk past on their way to the Post Office to cash in their Dole Giros.
- - - - -
3/. As flat as a 5 year old's chest with nasty cheap highlights in.. Clearly they wait until they acquire a little sun and then drench their hair with lemon juice and wait for the awful Halloween horror effect to set in.
- - - - -
Female Chav's have adopted the habit of getting Medusa's (a kind of lip piercing) only instead of wearing nice little silver balls they think it looks attractive to wear whopping great faux gold ones that look like nasty spots pussing.
Of course they have to put up any spots/zits they receive as Boots the Chemist finally wised up to bottles of Oxy going missing and finally added store alarms.
They qualify for free things like achne specialist stuff but the doctors got so tired of the constant visits from the 18 year old mother with 5 children that they got kicked off the panel.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Male Chavs:

Usually find it 'cool' and 'hard' to wear a small gold hoop in their ear or sometimes a small 'blinging' diamond.
They wear huge, thick fake gold chains as if trying to pull off that 'Mr T' look.
They too, are fond of wearing tracksuits like their female counter-parts only it is of major significance that the sport name logo or trade mark is showing to demonstrate to OTHER Chav's how much of their 'well ace' Dole was spent this month.
- - - - -
Their hair is usually one of two styles:

1/. The classic skin head 'I'm well hard' look.. Sometimes sporting some kind of bizarre shaven lines in random patterns forming their favourite football team or the Addias symbol etc..
- - - - -
2/. Short and with lot's of 45 pence gel spiking it up.
- - - - -
Male Chav's like to adorn themselves with anything that they think might have the ability to make them look toughened.
A fine example of this is the way they tilt their caps (usually burberry) to a high angle as they believe this increases their style of trying to be obdurate.
It actually just makes them look like a twat although they are too dense to see this.
They are very competitive in the world of racing other Chav's in seeing who can keep their trainers in the most immaculate 'Snow White' condition, or who can show the most Adidas stripes.
It is of uber importance that their tracky bottoms are tucked into their socks as some kind of social trade mark of acceptance within the Chav mainstream.
You will usually hear them say something a long the lines of "Wot da fook u lukin at" and "Ya fookin startin? I wil bang yaz out innit"
This normally translates to "Excuse me friend, but are your eyes appearing in my general direction? I would very much like you to avert them as I am terribly afraid of anything 'different'.." and "Although you have actually said nothing, I perceive a slight movement from your head as a signal for me to open my mouth and utter wasteful words upon you. I will not actually physically assault you myself, what I actually mean is I will round up 10 of my cretinous buddies and I will let them intimidate you and do my donkey work for me".
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

So yes, I conclude that the 'Chav' is just an uninformed, unintellectual waste of human life.
They continue to produce more offspring which will grow up to be as simple-minded as the previous futile generation. They will grow to be Dole fodder or if they're lucky.. Maybe acquire work in a fast food place. FOREVER.
Their aspirations and dreams consist only of purchasing the next ugly gold chain from the market or buying more cigarettes from the local corner shop.

They cost us time, tax and tears yet do not show any thanks except only to waste more of our time and so-forth. Anything that is remotely 'different' to them or considered as being a 'minority' is automatically WRONG in their eyes.
They are ignorant and close-minded because they lack the capacity to understand anything else beyond their own moronic world.

They are NOTHING.

..End..
Source
by PeggyLuXXX June 10, 2007
The lowest common denomenator of English society, equivalent to white trash for Americans although with many differences.

The word originates from the embittered attitude of people like myself from being perpetually asked "what yu lookin at?" by an individual dressed up like a cross between a gimp, JJB sports and 50 cent.

Chavs are renowned for their aggressive behaviour, amusing use of the english language, original sense of style and behaviour to society as a whole.

Chavs emerse themselves in a perverted form of a sub-culture: their main music tastes are in drum'n'bass and crap rap. The "female" chavs or Chavettes or Shaza's enjoy r'n'b. They have no apparant interest in literature (lol). In my view their most definitive and humorous attribute is their "use" of the English language, their favourite terms include, "brethren", "rude" and "brrap" (only for the hardcore Chav).

The term "chav" is the commercially utilised form of a notion that has been bouncing around England for years, the specific term being dependant upon location. Popular synonyms include: Pikies, Hood Rats, Kevs, Townies, Neds and many others. The universality of the term if useful in uniting this observation but regrettably depersonalises the word, and also has allowed those whose lives are unaffected by Chavs to pollute and alter the meaning of the term. Because of this it seems inevitable that the term will die out and become a trite cliche.

A chavs attitude to society is one principally shaped by amorality. A Chav feels no sense of "social responsibility" and therefore feels permiited to exploit the wellfare system, mug and beat up strangers. Although it as at this point that the term Chav is shed of its charming innocence and instead tainted with a viscious prejudice, one that assumes the entire populace of the working class consists of Chavs, this suggestion is both moronic and repugnant.

Therefore I believe in order to preserve the dignity and good humour of the term it should only be applied to an individual who firstly demonstrates violence, a true indication of being classless.

The second most substantial threat to the continuation of the term is from the media. The word was formulated through the frustration of adolescents such as myself at being attacked for absolutely no reason (except accidentally and temporarily gazing in the general direction of the individual). And not by some ageing arse-wank journalists trying to revive their long dead and fetid period of being young and cool.
(me and a chav):
"You lookin at me greeb twat?"
"What? How did you work that one out?"
(Punches me in face and I rest on the floor, a pool of blood collecting around me.)
"Fucking chavs"
by passenger May 13, 2005
chavs are people who wear trackies and named clothes,and the girls wear big fake gold earings they all have an attitude problem and need to have a good punch round their faces
omg i fuking hate them cause there not like me cause i think im so good wwhen really im a bag of sh**
by holly March 03, 2005

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