Gah...those chavs really do suck.

You can look at them in two ways; one being the non biased way and te other being the biased. I'm gonna pick the biased way cause chavs just suck ass. And if they don't they want to.

TYPICAL NAMES: Michelle, Kelly, Brooke, Zoe, Ella ect (nothing too intelectual)or jack, Tom, Chris, Scott (once again, simple.)

AGES: One group can range between 11-15 whilst the other is the older, more 'hardcore' group of 16-21 year olds.

WHEREABOUTS: Local market, Macdonals, Police cell, Park, Bus Stop, Police car, Dodgy 24 hour off-license or in big groups on the highstreet harrassing greebos.

DEFINITIONS:
Female chav: Straightened hair or hair pulled so tight its the croyden facelift effect, good skin ONLY because they use like half a pot of stolen concealer, either incredibly skinny or fat but pretends not to be, miniskirt and short tanktop or white tracksuit bottoms and matching tracksuit jacket with a white or baby pink/baby blue tank-top underneath, nike trainers which are scarily clean, three ear piercing, each with thick gold hoops adorning them, and possibly a diamond earring in the cartalidge. There will be gold rings on each finger, possibly up to 20 on each hand, and numerous amount of necklaces, but one being boyfriends thick gold chain and a moving clown necklace from argos, and not forgetting the essex/london accent that is made worse, and the shouting and the bottle of white lightning and/or beer attached to hand.

Male Chav: Ew. There is a choice of a skinhead with a little bit of stubble or spikey hair if your white, but if your black its either skinhead or cornrows. White tracksuits ONLY, and wollen socks that the trousers are tucked into and the perma white trainers on show. Only one diamond earring is required, and if they are old enough some form of stubble is grown, and finally, a deep voice, which doesnt matter about the accent but cocnkey or Essex is usually known in male chavs but less important for them to maintain, unlike female chavs.

CARRYING: Females carry push chairs wih babies in, or after six pm its a bottle of white lightning or malibu, whilst males deck themselfs with attractive knifes and baseball bats.

DANGERS: Everything about them. Breathe near one of them and if you ain't a chav you'll probably get knifed. Best to avoid eye contact with female chavs otherwise they will assume you are 'evilling' them.

LIKES:
female: Baby called Brooklyn/Romeo/Cassie/Michelle, White ligntning,pure vodka,alcopops, MacDonalds, shouting highpitched, dance music.

male: Knifes, Baseball bats, Burberry caps, beer, Shouting at lone greebos, saying innit.

DISLIKES:

Female: Greebos, Police, not being allowed out to reck havoc.

Male: Greebos.

CONCLUSION: They're just twats in general, thinking people like them when they really should just jump off the nearest cliff.
Chav: So yeh innit mate let scat to maccy d's nd see if the rest of da crew are there innit and if anybody is startin on me or ma bird they are ognna get here 'ead kicked so lets move!
Girlfriend: -highpitched- Aiiite!!!! look at that greebow ova there ohmigawd she just gave me evails!!!

Greebo: -looks over- Um...what? -mutters underbreath- Retarded chavs.

Girlfriend: -higherpitched- Whatttt did she just say?! What did YEW just say to mai?!
by Robyn Cator September 01, 2006

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1) Person who does not believe in banks (as such, retains funds as gold plated jewellery)

2) Someone who believes they can go out about their everyday business wearing head-to-toe white without getting it dirty.

3) Someone who believes they are capable of assaulting others. (one who is mislead).

4) Someone who pretends to take drugs, but in fact cannot afford such a habit.

5) Someone who feels strongly against the artistic talents of the real world, and so create their own, self contained culture.
That chav is a monkey. (or) That chav belongs in a zoo.
by d01 April 23, 2003

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Harmless on own but when teamed with other 'ard nuts becomes into a super brick throwing, car stealing, spitting machine. Will drive anything thats hot, usually with some retarded RnB blarring out. Phrases like boi, innit, bruv, dosh u up propa good are their own language. Can be identifyed by burbry caps (always at 90 degrees) and socks tucked into trousers.
"There a chav i think i will run him down for the good of man"
by James December 17, 2003

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tn hats gay hoddies fags and genrally look like twats
hang around in parks smoking, think there realy hard and act like there from london
al chavs should b taken outside and shot !
by claire sherwood July 14, 2004

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Oh look there goes a gaggle of chavs, pass the gun dear.
by me hahahaha September 27, 2004

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small, annoying twat who thinks hes clever by balancing an ugly burberry cap on the back of his head at a 180 degree angle! thinking about it, he probably stuck it there with the chewing gum he'd bin chewing for the past 3 days because he coodnt afford nemore! hed spent all his money on fags and blingin' jewerly, wich he either jacked or got for 2.50 of the back of a lorry. His inability to dress himself is shown through the way his tracksuits, that already look stupid clingin halfway up his ankles, are tucked into his 'heavy' sports socks, followed by either dirty white trainers or ones that are so dsazzlingly white you need to squint! They are usually found with girls 3ft taller than them and that are 5 yrs older than them! The girls are usually found wearing extremely tight clothe with a coat 3 sizes too small with a fluffy hood that sticks out. They always wear knee high boots, with anything, even with their errr... would you call it a skirt?!?! more like a BELT! and then theres the pink or light blue trackies! they look RIDICULOUS!!!!!!! Their died blonde hair is a reason to wear sunglasses, although, towards the top of thehead you can see the nice dark roots, with more grease than mcdonalds, which isnt reely suprising since that is their territory and probably their homes! The 15 yr old n her 10 yr old boyfriend probably conceived their 1st 3 kids in the toiulets there! (Think about that the next time you go in!) Oh and one more thing, if a lil chav that barley comes to your knees tries to pick a fight with you, be afraid! They bite! and in that area it could hurt, especially for a guy! So watch out! They're errrr... tougher than they look?!?!? HA! My arse! say a word longer than 2 sylables and theyll go running!
'what do you call a 13 yr old chav?'
'PREGNANT!'
by Phil Doran November 05, 2004

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The lowest common denominator.
chavosity is a disease, taking spinless hosts and uniting them with a shared consiousness.
Chavs number in groups ranging from 1 to 10 kids and adults, wearing failing brand names such as "nickelson" mckenzie and fake burberry.
each chav sports an idiosyncratic personality and a severe inferiority complex, as well as many insecurities shrouded beneath their cocked baseball caps.
their language is sub english and they tend to pronounce words with syllablles missing such as 'wi'ed' (wicked) or 'orrite' (alright)
Generally of a hostile nature they tend to fight in groups or call their big brothers in when the odds outweigh theirs.
also reffered to as townies or neds depending on the region in which you live (or how far the virus has spread)
by luke wade (age 12) April 15, 2004

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worse than Sars
comon enn! arrrr nok u awwt
by johnny October 29, 2003

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