Gah...those chavs really do suck.

You can look at them in two ways; one being the non biased way and te other being the biased. I'm gonna pick the biased way cause chavs just suck ass. And if they don't they want to.

TYPICAL NAMES: Michelle, Kelly, Brooke, Zoe, Ella ect (nothing too intelectual)or jack, Tom, Chris, Scott (once again, simple.)

AGES: One group can range between 11-15 whilst the other is the older, more 'hardcore' group of 16-21 year olds.

WHEREABOUTS: Local market, Macdonals, Police cell, Park, Bus Stop, Police car, Dodgy 24 hour off-license or in big groups on the highstreet harrassing greebos.

DEFINITIONS:
Female chav: Straightened hair or hair pulled so tight its the croyden facelift effect, good skin ONLY because they use like half a pot of stolen concealer, either incredibly skinny or fat but pretends not to be, miniskirt and short tanktop or white tracksuit bottoms and matching tracksuit jacket with a white or baby pink/baby blue tank-top underneath, nike trainers which are scarily clean, three ear piercing, each with thick gold hoops adorning them, and possibly a diamond earring in the cartalidge. There will be gold rings on each finger, possibly up to 20 on each hand, and numerous amount of necklaces, but one being boyfriends thick gold chain and a moving clown necklace from argos, and not forgetting the essex/london accent that is made worse, and the shouting and the bottle of white lightning and/or beer attached to hand.

Male Chav: Ew. There is a choice of a skinhead with a little bit of stubble or spikey hair if your white, but if your black its either skinhead or cornrows. White tracksuits ONLY, and wollen socks that the trousers are tucked into and the perma white trainers on show. Only one diamond earring is required, and if they are old enough some form of stubble is grown, and finally, a deep voice, which doesnt matter about the accent but cocnkey or Essex is usually known in male chavs but less important for them to maintain, unlike female chavs.

CARRYING: Females carry push chairs wih babies in, or after six pm its a bottle of white lightning or malibu, whilst males deck themselfs with attractive knifes and baseball bats.

DANGERS: Everything about them. Breathe near one of them and if you ain't a chav you'll probably get knifed. Best to avoid eye contact with female chavs otherwise they will assume you are 'evilling' them.

LIKES:
female: Baby called Brooklyn/Romeo/Cassie/Michelle, White ligntning,pure vodka,alcopops, MacDonalds, shouting highpitched, dance music.

male: Knifes, Baseball bats, Burberry caps, beer, Shouting at lone greebos, saying innit.

DISLIKES:

Female: Greebos, Police, not being allowed out to reck havoc.

Male: Greebos.

CONCLUSION: They're just twats in general, thinking people like them when they really should just jump off the nearest cliff.
Chav: So yeh innit mate let scat to maccy d's nd see if the rest of da crew are there innit and if anybody is startin on me or ma bird they are ognna get here 'ead kicked so lets move!
Girlfriend: -highpitched- Aiiite!!!! look at that greebow ova there ohmigawd she just gave me evails!!!

Greebo: -looks over- Um...what? -mutters underbreath- Retarded chavs.

Girlfriend: -higherpitched- Whatttt did she just say?! What did YEW just say to mai?!
by Robyn Cator September 01, 2006

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chavs are the inferior race of people that plagues all towns with a McDonalds in. The boys wear tracksuits (trousers usually baggy) hoddies with the hoods up if they dont have a chat on! Most chavs wear hats so low down you cannot see their face or balancing on their head that usually consists of no brain! They hang about the streets in gangs due to the fact that they are all little faggots who cannot fight,also gettin pissed and causing trouble for the people who are minding their own business. Chavette's are the loud mouth slags walking about shopping centres or towns smoking, swearing and starting on any other girl that walks past them. Normaly pregnant at the age of 14. Most chavette's are dressed in fake burberry or valour tracksuits, gold chains with letters, dolls or a clown about 7 loop earings in each ear, 2 or 3 rings on each finger! Hair stuck to their head and pulled back to much they cannot move their eyebrows!
It is impossable to understand chavs due to the strange decline in their speech skills or the evolution of chav talk!
chav1 "im bored wot can we do?"
chav2 "lets try to fing some grungers and start beef with them"
chav1 "ye dirty grungers!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
2 chavs outside a shop, a person with black top n trousers walks past
chav1 "errrr look dirty goth"
chav2 "errrr y dnt u....eat raw meat!"
chav1 "hahaha good 1!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
chav1 "ite blud"
chav2 "ite"
chav3 "sup manz"
chav1 "nutin much blud jus smokin"
chav3 "arrrr saves me!"
chav2 "twos me brudda!"
chav1 "k"
chav3 "safe"
chav2 "bare safe"
chav1 "wot we doin 2nite manz?"
chav3 "lets get pissed in the street!"
chav2 "arrrrr blud idea!"
by E.Matt May 19, 2005

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A young British 'person', bottom bottom class in both status and culture, favouring baseball caps, fake 'sports' 'labels', tracksuit bottoms tucked into their socks, trainers that cost the same amount of money as a flat deposit, and an unspeakably antisocial manner : a juvenile ruffian.
"You fucking faget! Oi! You startin'? You startin'?"
by Rupert Ducker December 05, 2003

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Lowest form of life on planet, with maybe the exception of their parents. Bred in caravans, the elite pikeys may have council houses. EVERYONE hates chavs, EVERYONE.
Bex (is that how to really spell your name you illiterate fuck) and Gem each have two children and they are both still below the age of consent. They are fucking chavs. You cunting chavs need to stop being poncing little fucks and die. Pricks. Bex and Gem - Give me a call, I have a bag of grapes and reckon I could fuck your pikey asses in exchange. Then you can jump through your fucking earings to celebrate - you dogs.
by Steve March 08, 2004

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These are invisilicant who usually stay in herds or flocks for protection. They also have very limited vocabulary that usually consists of 'fuckin cmon then, got any fags, init, phat, burbury, smash your face in, bling bling,fuck you, hate goths, hate emos, hate skaters, and hate chavs.
Chavs are all invislicants and ignoramouses.
by jamezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz December 15, 2005

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How to turn urself into a chav:

1. Ditch all normal and perfectly acceptable clothes, and wear some shabby tracksuit. Oh dear, u noticed that the trousers are too small, ah well tuck 'em in ur bright yellow socks n no1 will notice.............yea rite.

2. Grab urself a baseball cap and any old chains that look sparkly....

3. Now, shove your hands in ur v. tredy tracksuit pockets and learn the chav walk- sweep each shoulder down, forwards and then upwards making an arch and drag your body along with your shoulders.

4. Now, light a cigarette and suck ur life away on it (some how thinking this is the coolest thing to do).

5. The most important thing to to learn to speak propa. this cannot be taught, like most accents im afraid you'll actually have to hang around with the miserable creatures and hope to just pick it up.

6. Finally you just hang around bus stops, Mc Donalds, Sports shops and pretend u have money to buy stuff from those shops. Walk in the middle of roads (how cum they neva actually get run ova? :( ) and just be pushed to the very fringes of respectable society and take the tremendous leap to the category- scum.

Now, my (once) friend. You have become a complete chav. You are now harder and more tough than anybody i will eva know and i give u all rites to completely ruin the lives of others. Most importantly remember....if somebody looks at u it means they're thinking of killing u, try and think of a clever remark, but don't worry it dosen't ACTUALLY have to be cleva because for you that would be impossible.....
see a chav, kill a chav.......it's a living.
by Emma............chav killa February 19, 2004

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These are invisilicant who usually stay in herds or flocks for protection. They also have very limited vocabulary that usually consists of 'fuckin cmon then, got any fags, init, phat, burbury, smash your face in, bling bling,fuck you, hate goths, hate emos, hate skaters, and hate chavs.
Chavs are all invislicants and ignoramouses.
by jamezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz December 15, 2005

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Chav/ Chavette(female)/ Neds/ Kevs etc
Robert Hartland's version, Influenced By Stewart Goodarzi and William Sewell (thankyou).

A young teenage yobo wearing, a real fake burberry Check hat at 90degrees with the front Quiff of his hair gelled! For the t-shirt, A stone island/henry loyd/ or also a sh*tty old addidas t-shirt (commonly worn by the cheap chavs!)is a must have.
For trousers; Addidas/Kappa orlecoqsportif trakkie bottoms Allways tucked into there old footie socks nicked from the local team,
For shoes a pair of sparkling white nike shocks or for the cheap chavs a pair of reebok classics.
But to top it all off they flash off their recently stolen Bling, Bling!! from the back of an argos truck. While smoking the cheapest fags around (Richmond superking are the favorites) and chopsing an innocent 16/17yr old boy who is just trying to walk home in peace.
The female version of this known as kappa slapper or chavette she acts in a similar way and dresses in similar fasion except 3 differences these are, 1) They hav to keep 1 hand free so they may push around there pram with there recently born baby drapped in burberry clothes.
2)They wear their hair in a tight bunch known as the 'Council housed face lift'
3)They wear hooped earings so big a 20stone man could use them as a hoop to swing round and round his waist.
by Robert William Hartland November 15, 2004

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