chav

A term used to describe southern England teenagers whose features include:

-extensive vocabulary and the ability to pronounce words with as many as 3 syllables such as “cigarette” or “gimme-chips”.

-artistic skill, demonstrated by the graffiti adorning their vehicle of choice, the Chaviot.

-constructive skill; this comprises mostly of the deconstruction of a Vauxhall Nova into a Chaviot: a Vauxhall Nova-turned-urinal (the glovebox is used for larger excraments)

-inexpensive trainers

-Flammable hoodies

-"Gold" chains which end up being made of iron and start to rust.

-breeding children in order to obtain free accomodation

-only fear being Norton AntiChav and anybody over 5 foot tall.

-a desire to look like medusa (or at least to turn people to stone by spitting at them)

-use of the word batty boy when a member of the public does not turn over their phone.

-a magnetic attraction to fast food outlets.

-applying the word racist to anybody who disagrees with their agenda.

-Courage; proportional to number of Chavs congregated with them, or Chavs-per-kfc.

-Music taste; Hippie Hop, Rap, RnB Break dancing (which originated from Chavs trying to steal tyre-plates off moving vehicles).

Chav: gimme phone
Person: no
Chav: gimme chips
Person – uses Norton AntiChav to eliminate Chav.

by Winston_fist June 11, 2005

chav

Oh the simple Chav, what a constant source of amusement you are!
Chavs are the dregs of human existence. They live merely to piss everyone else off with their love of crap clothing and manky gold jewellery.
They have taken the wearing of tracksuits and baseball caps to a new level of pikieness.
Chav girls (or chavettes) commonly sport the Croydon Facelift (hair pulled back in a bun so tight that it pulls their faces tight) with at least 6 dangly faux-gold earings in each ear. Also often seen pushing a pram round shopping centers while chain-smoking and wearing fake burberry or nasty velour tracksuits. A favourite accessory is a hideous gold articulated clown dangling from a thick gold chain around their pimply acne scarred necks.
Male chavs hang around in gangs spitting alot and trying to start fights with small children or anyone else that they could easily overpower (which really is just small children!). Once they are of driving age they obtain a clapped out old Nova or Metro and then spend a fortune (no one knows where this money comes from, it is one of the many mysteries of the chav) "maxing it up" with big wheels, sound systems and a huge "wanker pipe" exhaust. Chavs can be seen in any copy of Max Power magazine proudly displaying their efforts at automotive design - tossers !!!

Look at the 20 inchers on me Nova, it's well phat innit! Bling Bling!

by Vestan Pance March 19, 2004

chav

small, annoying twat who thinks hes clever by balancing an ugly burberry cap on the back of his head at a 180 degree angle! thinking about it, he probably stuck it there with the chewing gum he'd bin chewing for the past 3 days because he coodnt afford nemore! hed spent all his money on fags and blingin' jewerly, wich he either jacked or got for 2.50 of the back of a lorry. His inability to dress himself is shown through the way his tracksuits, that already look stupid clingin halfway up his ankles, are tucked into his 'heavy' sports socks, followed by either dirty white trainers or ones that are so dsazzlingly white you need to squint! They are usually found with girls 3ft taller than them and that are 5 yrs older than them! The girls are usually found wearing extremely tight clothe with a coat 3 sizes too small with a fluffy hood that sticks out. They always wear knee high boots, with anything, even with their errr... would you call it a skirt?!?! more like a BELT! and then theres the pink or light blue trackies! they look RIDICULOUS!!!!!!! Their died blonde hair is a reason to wear sunglasses, although, towards the top of thehead you can see the nice dark roots, with more grease than mcdonalds, which isnt reely suprising since that is their territory and probably their homes! The 15 yr old n her 10 yr old boyfriend probably conceived their 1st 3 kids in the toiulets there! (Think about that the next time you go in!) Oh and one more thing, if a lil chav that barley comes to your knees tries to pick a fight with you, be afraid! They bite! and in that area it could hurt, especially for a guy! So watch out! They're errrr... tougher than they look?!?!? HA! My arse! say a word longer than 2 sylables and theyll go running!

'what do you call a 13 yr old chav?'
'PREGNANT!'

by Phil Doran November 5, 2004

chav

Picture this your waiting at a bus stop and down the bottom end near the toilets dressed in the same shoes, same trousers, same shirt and same coat. You can't tell the difference betwean the males and females except for the slight diference in make up consistency. The females have 4 kilograms per square centermeter while the males only have 2. They hen proceed to walk past everyone in the bus station callin them "goffs" and "twats" simply because they don't have the same clothes on as them. If anyone so much as looks at them for over two seconds they assume that they want a fight and "start on them" as they say. They then get there arse kicked and stumble away shout threats about there brothers and cousins who are "hard as hell"

Giv ten pense how.... whatcha mean chav like im notta chav like piss of how you goff ya startin how ive gotta bruvva in tha aprison and he'll fukin kill ya how.......................Ow y'd ya hit me ow ow ow y ya kickin me OW

by Deranged Hobbit January 5, 2004

chav

basically, you need to follow this :

Burn chavs, do us all a favour

Army dude : flamethrower ready sir!
King: excellent, burn the scum chav into ash!
Chav: no! don't! i lyk av 253434 children innit!! theyz av u cos thre well 'ard lyk bling bling stile!

by ahem... April 29, 2005

chav

This breed of superhuman, sorry, i mean 'super-stupid-human' can be distinguishable by several features, including their inability to pronounce parts of each word, and their shirts that look like theyve all been scribbled on by some kid called 'Nickelson'. They come into your towns like a plague and seem to multiply...i cant think of anyone who would want to actually mate with them though, so have come to the conclusion that the fucktards see fuck-tard are breeding with themselves. Some, in fact, all breeding has turned out unexpectedly, leading to mutations and deformations of the face, personality, and the giant hoops that protrude from their ears. The gold that they wear yes...were all really convnced that you can afford gold jewellery yet are forced to shoplift toilet tissue from ASDA... is truly impressive...they are obviously kings among men...or chimps rather. But what i admire most is how versatile they are. They can adapt easily to the cold, tucking their trousers into their socks, further proving that people can be so dumb that they lose the ability to dress in the correct order...but overall chavs are great people - if ever an Aeroport Radar Tower fails, never fear! as long as theres a chav handy, the once Nauseaous angle at which their caps were placed can double up as a heavy duty radar tower or microwave transmitter - the vast amount of radiation from the microwave signals must explain their strikingly obvious lack of common sense and social image
The bext thing about a chav though is just how looking at one can make me laugh - having gone into my local cornerr shop and encountering about enoguh chavs to fill a bus i was on the floor...i cant but help my urge to laugh at these poor..meek little creatures in the struggle of speaking english.
Well, ive truly outdone myself as far as rambling goes, but for a breed this inferior and ...well..dumb, a surprising amount can be said.

'Awww mate! aiv pissd maself!! heh heh, look at dat! is all up your leg too! proper BO!'

'hah hah i stol dis hat from dat grandad over dere - how 'ard am i??'
next day - all chavs in sight show off their new fashionable flat caps, and tht means theres now a load of poor OAPs with nothing but bare, shiny heads.

oh god, its another hundred chavs..

by Party December 17, 2003

chav

a chav is a person who is a complete twat and goes around terrorising people. the girls wear/look like : trackies, usually pregnant, soon to be pregnant, or already has a child/children. they wear tacky gold necklaces of a clown or doll. either that or "MASSIV" gold chains. the hands of a chavette are usually heavily adourned with gold rings or soverings which are absolute bollocks. the shoes chavettes like to wear are K Swiss, Lacoste, Fred Perry or some other bag of wank bollocks. The jackets they wear are either Berghaus, Helly Hansen or some other "designer" make. their faces are caked in make up to hide the uglyness and the hair is heavily straightened with the hottest straighteners you can get. possibly GHDs. the girls always accuse perfectly normal, cool people, such as grebs or emos, of "givin them evils". i get several people at school saying to me, "what u lookin at" or my personal favourite, "why wer u givin me evils in PE." OH MY FUCKING GOD. there is no rest. the boys wear trackies, thick woolly socks which their trackies are tucked into. they wear the same shoes and coats as the girls. also reebok, and adidas, nike and other sports shoes are worn. the boys will usually ask out girls who are lovely people, but not quite "a fit bird". i have had people ask me out before and it is so fake. it's pretty obvious these people have nothing better to do. the boys will leer at girls and call people such as emos, or alternatives, "slags". i am still trying to figure out why. the hangouts of these fucktards are mcdonalds, parks where they get adults or their older "rock hard" siblings to buy them some cheap cider which is consumed here. or bus shelters, street corners, long busy roads at night time. *trust me, i hate walking down my road in the evening*. urm i don't really know what else to say apart from they will spit on/at you if they see you on the street. and have no education. no decent family. will leave school with no or extremely poor GCSEs. wont/dont go to college/university. if they have a job it should be cleaning up horse muck. oh sweet, sweet revenge. chavs ARE the muck and constantly think about sex. they always want girls to get their tits/minge out on webcam and will shove you if they see you at school. they use the word "grog" which means, "to spit" and will pea shoot at you. if you do not know what pea shoot means, it is when a tube of some sort, usually what pens come in, have a piece of chewed up paper which has actually been in the chav's trampy, groggy, fillingd'up mouth. they spit the piece of paper at you. it CAN stick in your arm and this is extremely tramp. also beware, if you are in class, they may throw pieces of rubber/eraser at you. AVOID THESE WANKERS AT ALL COSTS. they terrorise the innocent, take drugs, get "E'd up" at weekends . the most common things chavs say are,
"what the fuck u lookin at"
"shes a right bird. look at them tits. ad easy shag that."
"ner marrt. she wudnt go anywer ner ya. ur way out 'er league"
"am i bollox"
"u go' a light?"
"save us 2's"
"save us 3's"
"can i shag ya"
"a shagged ya mam"
"ma mam is a rite slag"
"do u get E'd up at the weekend then"
"fuckin sweaty grebo" *SOOO ORIGINAL...*
"stupid emo go sit in a corner and slit ur wrists" *ORIGINAL AS FUCK....*
"ur a fuckin ugly RAT" *note the emphasis on rat*
well that's about it. oh and tons of chavs live on the nunny. shithole of grimsby (n)

chavs wear trackies, tacky jewellery and nick bikes from kids back yards.

by Tashxorz April 6, 2008