A prime example of regressive evolution. What's left over now that Britain's working class has become middle class.
Chavs tend to be either skinny and physically underdeveloped due to excessive consumption of illegal stimulants and long periods running from the police, or morbidly obese due to a diet consisting primarily of any American Burger Corp's finest offerings.

Chavs can often be found loitering in large herds, engaging in a range of antisocial behaviour around urban landmarks such as bus stations, shopping malls or McDonald's - basically anywhere they may come into contact with normal folk whom they can try to intimidate from within the safety of the chav herd.
The Chav female, or chavette, reaches breeding age at the age of 9, at which time her pregnancy to family friend "Uncle Dazza" (aged 26) may be publicised on the front page of the Sun newspaper. This may also lead to an appearance on daytime TV and a period of incarceration for "Uncle Dazza".

Bizarrely (see mating section below), elders in Chav communities often have an obsession with Paedophiles ("Pedos") which is often whipped into a frenzy by the British Tabloid press. This prompts one of the Chav communities' quaintest customs - "Pedo" outings, at which Chav young are taught the basics of identifying and dealing with Pedos by (generally female) members of the Chav community. During this event, which often run in summer and take the form of a kind of community Festival, everyone from "Paediatricians" to "Podiatrists", or even just slightly beardy middle aged men, can expect to have their windows smashed, their property vandalised, or possibly even their bodies beaten by a horde of placard wielding, chain smoking Chav grandmothers (even though most of them are barely out of their 30s). In light of this, many civil libertarians are alarmed at government moves to publicise the names of known "pedos" to the communities in which they live. It is likley, however, that identifying an offender will involve a form of higher brain activity, such as reading long words, thus mollifying a significant element of the vigilante threat. Generally, middle aged men with scratchy beards and hygiene problems should avoid Chav communities during "Outing" festivals, as should anybody called Pete, or with a "Ped", "Pod" or similar in their job title or name.

Chavettes are known for their fecundity, and can typically be expected to have a brood of 4 children to unlocatable or jailbird fathers by the age of 17, thus allowing them a range of state support and childcare, freeing up more of their time to loiter in chav herds seeking out new breeding partners whilst "mashed" on alcopop.

The mating ritual for a chav is interesting, particularly in so far as there is often a substantial age difference between the male and female breeding partners (often a decade or more in favour of the male). The male is generally either a relative/ close family friend of the female, or a complete unknown. Usually, mating begins when the male identifies his partner amongst a crowd of loud female chavettes in a communal setting such as JD Whetherspoons. Her receptiveness is often signified by the role of belly fat protruding from her boob tube, the shortness of her skirt, the taughtness of her Croydon facelift, her willingness to flash her diamante thong on demand, and above all her level of inebriation. Once he has identified her as likley to be compliant, the next step is to ply her with more alcohol, and see off competitors with a series of intimidating stares, or even violence if neccessary (although this may result in an early exit from the mating arena). Mating is usually in a secluded location (e.g. bent over the wheelie bins outside).

After a gestation period, usually of 9 months, the Chavette gives birth to an underweight baby who is often addicted to nicotine from the womb. She will typically name her young after a Movie star, boyband member or footballer (Romeo, Jordan, Keanu etc.) or after the place he was conceived (Cinderellas etc.). It is rare for the male Chav to have any part in the upbringing of his young, prefering instead to lodge on a succession of friend's couches until the CSA can no longer locate him and responsibility for his genetic legacy is duly passed to the state.
Chavs can be upwardly mobile. After a short spell in a correctional facility, many of them dispense with twoccing cars and may find cash in hand work as a doorman or labourer. Some of them may graduate to owning a white van, thus signifying that they own their own business or have a contract, which they will then use to tailgate other road users around the main roads of Britain whilst making oscillatory hand gestures.
Listen to the sound of Urban Britain... Can you hear it? Yes.. the sound of Police helicopters... the sound of "Pedos" gently having their windows smashed to a crescendo of jeering.... the sound of a 5 year old boy being mauled by his drunken chav father's pit-bull terrier as he dozes off to the football on sky......
by Turku Bentu July 04, 2006
Harmless on own but when teamed with other 'ard nuts becomes into a super brick throwing, car stealing, spitting machine. Will drive anything thats hot, usually with some retarded RnB blarring out. Phrases like boi, innit, bruv, dosh u up propa good are their own language. Can be identifyed by burbry caps (always at 90 degrees) and socks tucked into trousers.
"There a chav i think i will run him down for the good of man"
by James December 17, 2003
1) Person who does not believe in banks (as such, retains funds as gold plated jewellery)

2) Someone who believes they can go out about their everyday business wearing head-to-toe white without getting it dirty.

3) Someone who believes they are capable of assaulting others. (one who is mislead).

4) Someone who pretends to take drugs, but in fact cannot afford such a habit.

5) Someone who feels strongly against the artistic talents of the real world, and so create their own, self contained culture.
That chav is a monkey. (or) That chav belongs in a zoo.
by d01 April 23, 2003
tn hats gay hoddies fags and genrally look like twats
hang around in parks smoking, think there realy hard and act like there from london
al chavs should b taken outside and shot !
by claire sherwood July 14, 2004
Oh look there goes a gaggle of chavs, pass the gun dear.
by me hahahaha September 27, 2004
small, annoying twat who thinks hes clever by balancing an ugly burberry cap on the back of his head at a 180 degree angle! thinking about it, he probably stuck it there with the chewing gum he'd bin chewing for the past 3 days because he coodnt afford nemore! hed spent all his money on fags and blingin' jewerly, wich he either jacked or got for 2.50 of the back of a lorry. His inability to dress himself is shown through the way his tracksuits, that already look stupid clingin halfway up his ankles, are tucked into his 'heavy' sports socks, followed by either dirty white trainers or ones that are so dsazzlingly white you need to squint! They are usually found with girls 3ft taller than them and that are 5 yrs older than them! The girls are usually found wearing extremely tight clothe with a coat 3 sizes too small with a fluffy hood that sticks out. They always wear knee high boots, with anything, even with their errr... would you call it a skirt?!?! more like a BELT! and then theres the pink or light blue trackies! they look RIDICULOUS!!!!!!! Their died blonde hair is a reason to wear sunglasses, although, towards the top of thehead you can see the nice dark roots, with more grease than mcdonalds, which isnt reely suprising since that is their territory and probably their homes! The 15 yr old n her 10 yr old boyfriend probably conceived their 1st 3 kids in the toiulets there! (Think about that the next time you go in!) Oh and one more thing, if a lil chav that barley comes to your knees tries to pick a fight with you, be afraid! They bite! and in that area it could hurt, especially for a guy! So watch out! They're errrr... tougher than they look?!?!? HA! My arse! say a word longer than 2 sylables and theyll go running!
'what do you call a 13 yr old chav?'
by Phil Doran November 05, 2004
The lowest common denominator.
chavosity is a disease, taking spinless hosts and uniting them with a shared consiousness.
Chavs number in groups ranging from 1 to 10 kids and adults, wearing failing brand names such as "nickelson" mckenzie and fake burberry.
each chav sports an idiosyncratic personality and a severe inferiority complex, as well as many insecurities shrouded beneath their cocked baseball caps.
their language is sub english and they tend to pronounce words with syllablles missing such as 'wi'ed' (wicked) or 'orrite' (alright)
Generally of a hostile nature they tend to fight in groups or call their big brothers in when the odds outweigh theirs.
also reffered to as townies or neds depending on the region in which you live (or how far the virus has spread)
by luke wade (age 12) April 15, 2004
worse than Sars
comon enn! arrrr nok u awwt
by johnny October 29, 2003

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