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164.
A prime example of regressive evolution. What's left over now that Britain's working class has become middle class.
Chavs tend to be either skinny and physically underdeveloped due to excessive consumption of illegal stimulants and long periods running from the police, or morbidly obese due to a diet consisting primarily of any American Burger Corp's finest offerings.

Chavs can often be found loitering in large herds, engaging in a range of antisocial behaviour around urban landmarks such as bus stations, shopping malls or McDonald's - basically anywhere they may come into contact with normal folk whom they can try to intimidate from within the safety of the chav herd.
The Chav female, or chavette, reaches breeding age at the age of 9, at which time her pregnancy to family friend "Uncle Dazza" (aged 26) may be publicised on the front page of the Sun newspaper. This may also lead to an appearance on daytime TV and a period of incarceration for "Uncle Dazza".

Bizarrely (see mating section below), elders in Chav communities often have an obsession with Paedophiles ("Pedos") which is often whipped into a frenzy by the British Tabloid press. This prompts one of the Chav communities' quaintest customs - "Pedo" outings, at which Chav young are taught the basics of identifying and dealing with Pedos by (generally female) members of the Chav community. During this event, which often run in summer and take the form of a kind of community Festival, everyone from "Paediatricians" to "Podiatrists", or even just slightly beardy middle aged men, can expect to have their windows smashed, their property vandalised, or possibly even their bodies beaten by a horde of placard wielding, chain smoking Chav grandmothers (even though most of them are barely out of their 30s). In light of this, many civil libertarians are alarmed at government moves to publicise the names of known "pedos" to the communities in which they live. It is likley, however, that identifying an offender will involve a form of higher brain activity, such as reading long words, thus mollifying a significant element of the vigilante threat. Generally, middle aged men with scratchy beards and hygiene problems should avoid Chav communities during "Outing" festivals, as should anybody called Pete, or with a "Ped", "Pod" or similar in their job title or name.

Chavettes are known for their fecundity, and can typically be expected to have a brood of 4 children to unlocatable or jailbird fathers by the age of 17, thus allowing them a range of state support and childcare, freeing up more of their time to loiter in chav herds seeking out new breeding partners whilst "mashed" on alcopop.

The mating ritual for a chav is interesting, particularly in so far as there is often a substantial age difference between the male and female breeding partners (often a decade or more in favour of the male). The male is generally either a relative/ close family friend of the female, or a complete unknown. Usually, mating begins when the male identifies his partner amongst a crowd of loud female chavettes in a communal setting such as JD Whetherspoons. Her receptiveness is often signified by the role of belly fat protruding from her boob tube, the shortness of her skirt, the taughtness of her Croydon facelift, her willingness to flash her diamante thong on demand, and above all her level of inebriation. Once he has identified her as likley to be compliant, the next step is to ply her with more alcohol, and see off competitors with a series of intimidating stares, or even violence if neccessary (although this may result in an early exit from the mating arena). Mating is usually in a secluded location (e.g. bent over the wheelie bins outside).

After a gestation period, usually of 9 months, the Chavette gives birth to an underweight baby who is often addicted to nicotine from the womb. She will typically name her young after a Movie star, boyband member or footballer (Romeo, Jordan, Keanu etc.) or after the place he was conceived (Cinderellas etc.). It is rare for the male Chav to have any part in the upbringing of his young, prefering instead to lodge on a succession of friend's couches until the CSA can no longer locate him and responsibility for his genetic legacy is duly passed to the state.
Chavs can be upwardly mobile. After a short spell in a correctional facility, many of them dispense with twoccing cars and may find cash in hand work as a doorman or labourer. Some of them may graduate to owning a white van, thus signifying that they own their own business or have a contract, which they will then use to tailgate other road users around the main roads of Britain whilst making oscillatory hand gestures.
Listen to the sound of Urban Britain... Can you hear it? Yes.. the sound of Police helicopters... the sound of "Pedos" gently having their windows smashed to a crescendo of jeering.... the sound of a 5 year old boy being mauled by his drunken chav father's pit-bull terrier as he dozes off to the football on sky......
by Turku Bentu July 04, 2006
 
43.
Chav/ Chavette(female)/ Neds/ Kevs etc
Robert Hartland's version, Influenced By Stewart Goodarzi and William Sewell (thankyou).

A young teenage yobo wearing, a real fake burberry Check hat at 90degrees with the front Quiff of his hair gelled! For the t-shirt, A stone island/henry loyd/ or also a sh*tty old addidas t-shirt (commonly worn by the cheap chavs!)is a must have.
For trousers; Addidas/Kappa orlecoqsportif trakkie bottoms Allways tucked into there old footie socks nicked from the local team,
For shoes a pair of sparkling white nike shocks or for the cheap chavs a pair of reebok classics.
But to top it all off they flash off their recently stolen Bling, Bling!! from the back of an argos truck. While smoking the cheapest fags around (Richmond superking are the favorites) and chopsing an innocent 16/17yr old boy who is just trying to walk home in peace.
The female version of this known as kappa slapper or chavette she acts in a similar way and dresses in similar fasion except 3 differences these are, 1) They hav to keep 1 hand free so they may push around there pram with there recently born baby drapped in burberry clothes.
2)They wear their hair in a tight bunch known as the 'Council housed face lift'
3)They wear hooped earings so big a 20stone man could use them as a hoop to swing round and round his waist.
by Robert William Hartland November 15, 2004
 
44.
chavs, chivvies, charvers, townies, scroats, dill holes, kevs, neds, scallies, wankers, pikies, hardos, jippos
I guess they're just dirty, loud, ugly, stupid arseholes that threaten, fight, cause trouble, impregnate 14 year olds, ask for money, ask for fags, try and sell stolen phones, steal your phones, wear crap sports wear, drink cheap cider and generally spread their hate.

all chavs are scum and shoul be beaten with sticks and/or killed and wiped of the surface of the earth
by chav h8a 2005 September 17, 2005
 
45.
These strange species can seem perfectly harmless until they are placed in their natural habitat. If there is a silverbacked chav who is superior to everyone as he has the latest Scooter album, the other chavs will form a protective ring around him.
These scourge plague the streets of most cities, but most of all Newcastle. The male of the species will have short spiked hair, and will pretend their voice is deep years before it has broken, which appears to be an effective mating call. The female of the species will wear truckloads of makeup and huge (often plastic) earrings the size of the millennium wheel. If temperatures are below -5 degrees C, they will feel inclined to wear a mini skirt which barely covers their hips (see also: Micro Skirt)
When the male and female of the species meet, the male will put on a burbry cap to seem more attractive. Within an hour the two will have engaged in unprotected sex and whoops!...there goes another teenage pregnancy, another scum bag to pay for in our taxes!
Chavs will also force themselves to start smoking at the age of about 12, which is a sign that they are "Hard" or "Belter".
Any human verbal interaction with these vermin will result in an absolutely moronic response such as "Hew man you fucking daft cunt!" when asked to rephrase their inadequately worded statement, the same, only slightly more angry response is thrown at you.
No other 'race' other than their own is acceptable. Any goths, punks, skaters or grungies are renamed to "tree huggers" or "hippys". They do not have the brain cells to understand that they are infact the worst scourge of this planet!
Lastly, they will start fights with anybody that's smaller than them, to try and make themselves feel highly superior, and to try and impress the opposite sex. The long long list could go on forever.
To sum it up, these spangle stained hooligans are a dire example of Darwin's "Survival of the fittest" and are a complete waste of space, carbon lifeform, and tax payers money!
Look! There's some chavs! Where's that nitroglycerin I prepared earlier?
by Peter Adams December 18, 2004
 
46.
A lower order of the ape family, living in colonies of anywhere above 2. Can be seen at dusk moving towards a McDonalds or similar. Often spotted marking territory on playgrounds or confronting members of the public in search of the resources to create fire. Favourite pastimes include:
-Using a mobile to record anything more illegal than kicking a lamp post
-Searching for "beef"
-Claiming that a member of the public "called their mum"
-Claiming that a member of the public "looked at them"
-Applying a burberry pattern wherever possible
-Smoking anything intoxicating, up to and including anthorax
-Drinking anything intoxicating, up to and including petrol
-Inhaling anything intoxicating, up to and including napalm
-Impregnating the female of the species - the chavette, who are only suitable for fertilising up to the age of 16

Primate ----> Homo Chavien ----> Homo Sapien
by themuseicman May 04, 2006
 
47.
Chav: a type of person who lacks the intelligence to be able to speak or write proper english, uses words, if they are proper words such as 'blingin', 'mingin' etc
You will normally find them outside McDonalds. Their favourite hobbies: picking on anybody who has a brain, having underage sex with no protection, getting drunk, starting a fight with some random person who has done nothing to them except say "hi".
A chav can be quite easily be identified by their clothing. A Burberry (from the local market- 99p, a bargain!) cap, a Nickelson t shirt, and a Schott hoodie, with adidas tracksuit bottoms rolled into their white nike socks and wearing nike trainers. Female chavs tend to have their hair in a tight bun or ponytail witht the help of several cans of hairspray, their face will be painted in cheap makeup; layer and layers of cheap foundation, mascara and eyeliner. Chavs enjoy showing off their "bling". "Bling" often looks like chocolate coins & is costs £1.99 from Argos. It often appears in the form of over-sized, fake-gold hoop earrings. Favourite jobs of chavs: drug dealer, McDonalds worker, prostitute, page 3 'model'. Chavs are also known as: 'scum', 'idiots' and any other insult there is on this earth.
You can tell if someone is a chav or not mostly by their attitude. They think that anyone who doesn't listen to "their" music is a grunger. They think that Burberry is the height of fashion & they look down on anyone who isn't exactly like them. How to humiliate a chav: ask them to recite the alphabet.
by MJ February 14, 2005
 
48.
The origins of the word are the mid-19th century Romany word chavi, meaning "delinquent male youth". It is sometimes defined as "male youth" but that is in fact inaccurate as the word is intend to carry a negative meaning much as calling a young child a "brat" in English.

The first known recorded history of the words usage comes from a story written in London citing trouble with young people distrubing graves in the London area simply as a means of disrepect. The story was based on an issue brought to light by the Church of England.

History: A local London church (who had the position of owning the a graveyard at that time)had informed the Church of England calling upon its huge power and influence to resolve an issue of local youths disrupting its graveyard. When the church questioned locals it was revealed by local immigrants that the problems came from young Romany which they called "chavi". The immigrants claimed the incidents had no evil motives are were just an example of badly behaved youths playing a prank.

The word enjoyed a period of widespread use around the time but then disappeared from mainstream until around 1988 when a major new service ran a story citing a similiar incident. The source of the story is unknown but it is known to have used the word "Chavi" because a court case followed due to the enthic orgin of the word and the way it was used in the story. The story was again about an issue in London and the paper first ran there.

There have been many claims that the word came from Scotland or the Northern areas of England but these claims are in fact false and show a lack of knowledge of the etymology of the word. Another untrue claim of the word is the spelling should be "charv" with the explanation being that the word comes from "charver". In fact this is incorrect as the word "charver" roughly translates to a "prositute or someone who sacrifices their bodies to gain wealth" and the words popularity is directly related to a sub-culture in Britain where as the members generally do not work (ruling out charver completely) and are social deviates.

Probably the most accurate definition of a Chav would be: members of the lower class; uneducated and ignorant people with little regard of the legal system or without respect for the society inwhich they live.
Everywhere you look Britian is full of chav scum.
by claymuir September 28, 2005
 
49.
Chav - Council House and Violent!
The chav is a horrible, lower form of humanity who think wearing "old ladies" burberry car rugs fashioned into anything from caps to pants is cool.
by Spunky Monkey August 09, 2007