A prime example of regressive evolution. What's left over now that Britain's working class has become middle class.
Chavs tend to be either skinny and physically underdeveloped due to excessive consumption of illegal stimulants and long periods running from the police, or morbidly obese due to a diet consisting primarily of any American Burger Corp's finest offerings.

Chavs can often be found loitering in large herds, engaging in a range of antisocial behaviour around urban landmarks such as bus stations, shopping malls or McDonald's - basically anywhere they may come into contact with normal folk whom they can try to intimidate from within the safety of the chav herd.
The Chav female, or chavette, reaches breeding age at the age of 9, at which time her pregnancy to family friend "Uncle Dazza" (aged 26) may be publicised on the front page of the Sun newspaper. This may also lead to an appearance on daytime TV and a period of incarceration for "Uncle Dazza".

Bizarrely (see mating section below), elders in Chav communities often have an obsession with Paedophiles ("Pedos") which is often whipped into a frenzy by the British Tabloid press. This prompts one of the Chav communities' quaintest customs - "Pedo" outings, at which Chav young are taught the basics of identifying and dealing with Pedos by (generally female) members of the Chav community. During this event, which often run in summer and take the form of a kind of community Festival, everyone from "Paediatricians" to "Podiatrists", or even just slightly beardy middle aged men, can expect to have their windows smashed, their property vandalised, or possibly even their bodies beaten by a horde of placard wielding, chain smoking Chav grandmothers (even though most of them are barely out of their 30s). In light of this, many civil libertarians are alarmed at government moves to publicise the names of known "pedos" to the communities in which they live. It is likley, however, that identifying an offender will involve a form of higher brain activity, such as reading long words, thus mollifying a significant element of the vigilante threat. Generally, middle aged men with scratchy beards and hygiene problems should avoid Chav communities during "Outing" festivals, as should anybody called Pete, or with a "Ped", "Pod" or similar in their job title or name.

Chavettes are known for their fecundity, and can typically be expected to have a brood of 4 children to unlocatable or jailbird fathers by the age of 17, thus allowing them a range of state support and childcare, freeing up more of their time to loiter in chav herds seeking out new breeding partners whilst "mashed" on alcopop.

The mating ritual for a chav is interesting, particularly in so far as there is often a substantial age difference between the male and female breeding partners (often a decade or more in favour of the male). The male is generally either a relative/ close family friend of the female, or a complete unknown. Usually, mating begins when the male identifies his partner amongst a crowd of loud female chavettes in a communal setting such as JD Whetherspoons. Her receptiveness is often signified by the role of belly fat protruding from her boob tube, the shortness of her skirt, the taughtness of her Croydon facelift, her willingness to flash her diamante thong on demand, and above all her level of inebriation. Once he has identified her as likley to be compliant, the next step is to ply her with more alcohol, and see off competitors with a series of intimidating stares, or even violence if neccessary (although this may result in an early exit from the mating arena). Mating is usually in a secluded location (e.g. bent over the wheelie bins outside).

After a gestation period, usually of 9 months, the Chavette gives birth to an underweight baby who is often addicted to nicotine from the womb. She will typically name her young after a Movie star, boyband member or footballer (Romeo, Jordan, Keanu etc.) or after the place he was conceived (Cinderellas etc.). It is rare for the male Chav to have any part in the upbringing of his young, prefering instead to lodge on a succession of friend's couches until the CSA can no longer locate him and responsibility for his genetic legacy is duly passed to the state.
Chavs can be upwardly mobile. After a short spell in a correctional facility, many of them dispense with twoccing cars and may find cash in hand work as a doorman or labourer. Some of them may graduate to owning a white van, thus signifying that they own their own business or have a contract, which they will then use to tailgate other road users around the main roads of Britain whilst making oscillatory hand gestures.
Listen to the sound of Urban Britain... Can you hear it? Yes.. the sound of Police helicopters... the sound of "Pedos" gently having their windows smashed to a crescendo of jeering.... the sound of a 5 year old boy being mauled by his drunken chav father's pit-bull terrier as he dozes off to the football on sky......
by Turku Bentu July 04, 2006
Lowest form of life on planet, with maybe the exception of their parents. Bred in caravans, the elite pikeys may have council houses. EVERYONE hates chavs, EVERYONE.
Bex (is that how to really spell your name you illiterate fuck) and Gem each have two children and they are both still below the age of consent. They are fucking chavs. You cunting chavs need to stop being poncing little fucks and die. Pricks. Bex and Gem - Give me a call, I have a bag of grapes and reckon I could fuck your pikey asses in exchange. Then you can jump through your fucking earings to celebrate - you dogs.
by Steve March 08, 2004
Derived from Cheltenham in Gloucestershire, in full means Cheltenham Average. These sub-human runts have the burberry caps and addidas trousers tucked into red rebok socks.

But the worst thing about the Chav is that they have genitalia thus being allowed to procreate and birth new little runtish chav's. Soon like a cancer they will spread and take over the whole of England.

Too prevent prehaps we should ban fox hunting and leagalize chav hunting.
man, dude, homie, mate. All of which are acceptable, but the are said in there own little accent of which no one can hope to understand unless born into a chav household.
by Nick O'Hodrahn January 26, 2004
A young British 'person', bottom bottom class in both status and culture, favouring baseball caps, fake 'sports' 'labels', tracksuit bottoms tucked into their socks, trainers that cost the same amount of money as a flat deposit, and an unspeakably antisocial manner : a juvenile ruffian.
"You fucking faget! Oi! You startin'? You startin'?"
by Rupert Ducker December 05, 2003
These are invisilicant who usually stay in herds or flocks for protection. They also have very limited vocabulary that usually consists of 'fuckin cmon then, got any fags, init, phat, burbury, smash your face in, bling bling,fuck you, hate goths, hate emos, hate skaters, and hate chavs.
Chavs are all invislicants and ignoramouses.
by jamezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz December 15, 2005
How to turn urself into a chav:

1. Ditch all normal and perfectly acceptable clothes, and wear some shabby tracksuit. Oh dear, u noticed that the trousers are too small, ah well tuck 'em in ur bright yellow socks n no1 will notice.............yea rite.

2. Grab urself a baseball cap and any old chains that look sparkly....

3. Now, shove your hands in ur v. tredy tracksuit pockets and learn the chav walk- sweep each shoulder down, forwards and then upwards making an arch and drag your body along with your shoulders.

4. Now, light a cigarette and suck ur life away on it (some how thinking this is the coolest thing to do).

5. The most important thing to to learn to speak propa. this cannot be taught, like most accents im afraid you'll actually have to hang around with the miserable creatures and hope to just pick it up.

6. Finally you just hang around bus stops, Mc Donalds, Sports shops and pretend u have money to buy stuff from those shops. Walk in the middle of roads (how cum they neva actually get run ova? :( ) and just be pushed to the very fringes of respectable society and take the tremendous leap to the category- scum.

Now, my (once) friend. You have become a complete chav. You are now harder and more tough than anybody i will eva know and i give u all rites to completely ruin the lives of others. Most importantly remember....if somebody looks at u it means they're thinking of killing u, try and think of a clever remark, but don't worry it dosen't ACTUALLY have to be cleva because for you that would be impossible.....
see a chav, kill a chav.......it's a living.
by Emma............chav killa February 19, 2004
These are invisilicant who usually stay in herds or flocks for protection. They also have very limited vocabulary that usually consists of 'fuckin cmon then, got any fags, init, phat, burbury, smash your face in, bling bling,fuck you, hate goths, hate emos, hate skaters, and hate chavs.
Chavs are all invislicants and ignoramouses.
by jamezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz December 15, 2005
Chav/ Chavette(female)/ Neds/ Kevs etc
Robert Hartland's version, Influenced By Stewart Goodarzi and William Sewell (thankyou).

A young teenage yobo wearing, a real fake burberry Check hat at 90degrees with the front Quiff of his hair gelled! For the t-shirt, A stone island/henry loyd/ or also a sh*tty old addidas t-shirt (commonly worn by the cheap chavs!)is a must have.
For trousers; Addidas/Kappa orlecoqsportif trakkie bottoms Allways tucked into there old footie socks nicked from the local team,
For shoes a pair of sparkling white nike shocks or for the cheap chavs a pair of reebok classics.
But to top it all off they flash off their recently stolen Bling, Bling!! from the back of an argos truck. While smoking the cheapest fags around (Richmond superking are the favorites) and chopsing an innocent 16/17yr old boy who is just trying to walk home in peace.
The female version of this known as kappa slapper or chavette she acts in a similar way and dresses in similar fasion except 3 differences these are, 1) They hav to keep 1 hand free so they may push around there pram with there recently born baby drapped in burberry clothes.
2)They wear their hair in a tight bunch known as the 'Council housed face lift'
3)They wear hooped earings so big a 20stone man could use them as a hoop to swing round and round his waist.
by Robert William Hartland November 15, 2004

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