A prime example of regressive evolution. What's left over now that Britain's working class has become middle class.
Chavs tend to be either skinny and physically underdeveloped due to excessive consumption of illegal stimulants and long periods running from the police, or morbidly obese due to a diet consisting primarily of any American Burger Corp's finest offerings.

Chavs can often be found loitering in large herds, engaging in a range of antisocial behaviour around urban landmarks such as bus stations, shopping malls or McDonald's - basically anywhere they may come into contact with normal folk whom they can try to intimidate from within the safety of the chav herd.
The Chav female, or chavette, reaches breeding age at the age of 9, at which time her pregnancy to family friend "Uncle Dazza" (aged 26) may be publicised on the front page of the Sun newspaper. This may also lead to an appearance on daytime TV and a period of incarceration for "Uncle Dazza".

Bizarrely (see mating section below), elders in Chav communities often have an obsession with Paedophiles ("Pedos") which is often whipped into a frenzy by the British Tabloid press. This prompts one of the Chav communities' quaintest customs - "Pedo" outings, at which Chav young are taught the basics of identifying and dealing with Pedos by (generally female) members of the Chav community. During this event, which often run in summer and take the form of a kind of community Festival, everyone from "Paediatricians" to "Podiatrists", or even just slightly beardy middle aged men, can expect to have their windows smashed, their property vandalised, or possibly even their bodies beaten by a horde of placard wielding, chain smoking Chav grandmothers (even though most of them are barely out of their 30s). In light of this, many civil libertarians are alarmed at government moves to publicise the names of known "pedos" to the communities in which they live. It is likley, however, that identifying an offender will involve a form of higher brain activity, such as reading long words, thus mollifying a significant element of the vigilante threat. Generally, middle aged men with scratchy beards and hygiene problems should avoid Chav communities during "Outing" festivals, as should anybody called Pete, or with a "Ped", "Pod" or similar in their job title or name.

Chavettes are known for their fecundity, and can typically be expected to have a brood of 4 children to unlocatable or jailbird fathers by the age of 17, thus allowing them a range of state support and childcare, freeing up more of their time to loiter in chav herds seeking out new breeding partners whilst "mashed" on alcopop.

The mating ritual for a chav is interesting, particularly in so far as there is often a substantial age difference between the male and female breeding partners (often a decade or more in favour of the male). The male is generally either a relative/ close family friend of the female, or a complete unknown. Usually, mating begins when the male identifies his partner amongst a crowd of loud female chavettes in a communal setting such as JD Whetherspoons. Her receptiveness is often signified by the role of belly fat protruding from her boob tube, the shortness of her skirt, the taughtness of her Croydon facelift, her willingness to flash her diamante thong on demand, and above all her level of inebriation. Once he has identified her as likley to be compliant, the next step is to ply her with more alcohol, and see off competitors with a series of intimidating stares, or even violence if neccessary (although this may result in an early exit from the mating arena). Mating is usually in a secluded location (e.g. bent over the wheelie bins outside).

After a gestation period, usually of 9 months, the Chavette gives birth to an underweight baby who is often addicted to nicotine from the womb. She will typically name her young after a Movie star, boyband member or footballer (Romeo, Jordan, Keanu etc.) or after the place he was conceived (Cinderellas etc.). It is rare for the male Chav to have any part in the upbringing of his young, prefering instead to lodge on a succession of friend's couches until the CSA can no longer locate him and responsibility for his genetic legacy is duly passed to the state.
Chavs can be upwardly mobile. After a short spell in a correctional facility, many of them dispense with twoccing cars and may find cash in hand work as a doorman or labourer. Some of them may graduate to owning a white van, thus signifying that they own their own business or have a contract, which they will then use to tailgate other road users around the main roads of Britain whilst making oscillatory hand gestures.
Listen to the sound of Urban Britain... Can you hear it? Yes.. the sound of Police helicopters... the sound of "Pedos" gently having their windows smashed to a crescendo of jeering.... the sound of a 5 year old boy being mauled by his drunken chav father's pit-bull terrier as he dozes off to the football on sky......
by Turku Bentu July 04, 2006
The IQ of one of these peices of scum-shits can be found using the following equation:

IQ = 1
_________________
no. of gold chains^2

If you are a chav yourself, and cannot grasp the significance of this equation, it means: The more gold chains you have, the dumber you will.
2)a) If A chav has a total of only 3 gold chains on him/her, how intelligent is she/he?

IQ = 1
__
3^2

IQ = 1/9

The Chav has an IQ of 1/9. The average is 90-100.
by Comrade Dmitri February 18, 2004
Pricks, who hunt in packs
chav: got a cig mate?
pedestrian: oh no sorry.
chav2: lend us 2p m8
pedestrian: ok?
chav: cum on den
pedestrian: im sorry?
chav2: who sed ya could talk dik ed
pedestrian: erm?
chav3,4,5 and 6: fight, fight, fight
pedestrian: im just walking home
chavette: ya takin da piss
pedestrian:listen im jus walking home, whats ya problem
all chavs: oooooooh
chav:cum on den
pedestrian: erm? *walks to chav*
all chavs: shit *run off*
pedestrian: erm?
by Molluz - [zn770w] October 06, 2005
Allegedly stands for council house and violent. These are the dregs of British society, they are recognisable because they go to the same outfitter (JD Sports) and wear polyester shell clothing and baseball caps. They perfect a malnourished look by spending all their money on cigarettes and alcohol. They will often subscribe to Sky satellite television (or steal a decoder) and enjoy film sequels.
Trev and Bex died when trying to ramraid a kabab shop because the 24-hour garage had closed the previous week when the owner was shot by a gang of chavs.
by Ged Carroll September 14, 2004
1. Human equivalent of vermin. Fake sportswear, large gold jewellery (bought from argos) and (at least) quadrouple pushchair with females of the 'species'. They use a little known language derived from English slang and American 'gangsta'.Most reproduce by the age of 14, sometimes younger.Chavs are created by their parents through serious neglect or adequate education of any kind. Although the 'species' is so new, their predicted life span is around 40 years, enough time to raise a least 5 broods. They can be found around fast food outlets, shopping malls and other similer places. Their main transport is either a 'modded' shite bucket or a police vehicle of some sort.
I saw a chav a minute ago. Obviously, I shot the bastard
by Notoriousdoc May 28, 2005
Average male chav stands around 2 foot 7 inches fully grown, Sporting 2/4 stripe adidas lookalike tracksuits ((rips included)), About a hundred million fake pieces of jewellery which they call their bling ((Might explain why they only grow to 2 foot 7, Too much weight)) The common chav when reaching the required driving age for chavs ((around 8 years old)) poleslide into the chav cave, and into their chavmobile or 'chaviot', Rev it about a billion times ((because they think it makes them hard and it also makes the chavettes wet)), Before hitting the nitros.. Well kicking in their AA batteries they must fit into these 'maxed out' Novas, Neons and bodykits and a paintjob that looks so dodgy it must have been made with 'paint by numbers - for chavs'Their driving skills about as impressive as the chavettes buggy pushing skills, Both hitting everything in sight. ((The average chavette falls pregnant around age 12)) After arriving at McDonalds ((only place chavs don't get asked for ID for being 2 foot 7)) They huddle in their crew and wait for the chance to look hard. When finally the unsuspecting 4 year old comes along licking his ice cream, The chav will jump up screaming 'wat ya lukin' at, wot?.. ya wan' beef!?' ((But if the 4 year old defended himself, The chavs would scatter, Some jumping into nearby bushes, Gardens, Dog Houses, Sewers and Push Chairs of the chavettes)) This is, Of course if they don't have a getaway chaviot nearby. You may say chavs are stupid... and you'd be right, The average chav drops out of school after learning the 2 times table, Most even before this as the work is too difficult ((9 out of 10 chavs think 2+2 is 7)) Lack of education forcing them to make their own language, Can be mistaken for English after a few pints. The chavs cap is like a Samurai's sword, It's like their soul, Slap their caps off and their powerless. Although their final defense is hair so short it'd give you a rash, The shock of this awful site usually giving them enough time to tuck their 4stripes into their socks and leg it back to their 7 time pregnant chavette back at their 1 room flat in the council block. ((Common chavette has hair pulled back so tight it pulls every single part of the face with it.. Pretty much making them look like the bug monster from MIB when he attempts to look like one)) For some unknown reason a chav will always have a bigger brother, Making me think they must all be inbred, Their father being their brother, So on and so forth.
~6 chavs outside McDonalds~
"Yo bruv, Dizzy new heights wot!?"
"Yea blood, Seen, Heard, Smelt"
"Seen.. Seen"
by Liquid Sonic October 25, 2004
A fucking discrace, where did they all come from, 30 years ago my town was cool, now it sucks. Grubby little houses and burnt out cars
looks like evolution cocked it again
by big cheese October 29, 2003
chavs are the inferior race of people that plagues all towns with a McDonalds in. The boys wear tracksuits (trousers usually baggy) hoddies with the hoods up if they dont have a chat on! Most chavs wear hats so low down you cannot see their face or balancing on their head that usually consists of no brain! They hang about the streets in gangs due to the fact that they are all little faggots who cannot fight,also gettin pissed and causing trouble for the people who are minding their own business. Chavette's are the loud mouth slags walking about shopping centres or towns smoking, swearing and starting on any other girl that walks past them. Normaly pregnant at the age of 14. Most chavette's are dressed in fake burberry or valour tracksuits, gold chains with letters, dolls or a clown about 7 loop earings in each ear, 2 or 3 rings on each finger! Hair stuck to their head and pulled back to much they cannot move their eyebrows!
It is impossable to understand chavs due to the strange decline in their speech skills or the evolution of chav talk!
chav1 "im bored wot can we do?"
chav2 "lets try to fing some grungers and start beef with them"
chav1 "ye dirty grungers!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
2 chavs outside a shop, a person with black top n trousers walks past
chav1 "errrr look dirty goth"
chav2 "errrr y dnt u....eat raw meat!"
chav1 "hahaha good 1!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
chav1 "ite blud"
chav2 "ite"
chav3 "sup manz"
chav1 "nutin much blud jus smokin"
chav3 "arrrr saves me!"
chav2 "twos me brudda!"
chav1 "k"
chav3 "safe"
chav2 "bare safe"
chav1 "wot we doin 2nite manz?"
chav3 "lets get pissed in the street!"
chav2 "arrrrr blud idea!"
by E.Matt May 19, 2005

Free Daily Email

Type your email address below to get our free Urban Word of the Day every morning!

Emails are sent from daily@urbandictionary.com. We'll never spam you.

×