158
A prime example of regressive evolution. What's left over now that Britain's working class has become middle class.
Chavs tend to be either skinny and physically underdeveloped due to excessive consumption of illegal stimulants and long periods running from the police, or morbidly obese due to a diet consisting primarily of any American Burger Corp's finest offerings.

Chavs can often be found loitering in large herds, engaging in a range of antisocial behaviour around urban landmarks such as bus stations, shopping malls or McDonald's - basically anywhere they may come into contact with normal folk whom they can try to intimidate from within the safety of the chav herd.
The Chav female, or chavette, reaches breeding age at the age of 9, at which time her pregnancy to family friend "Uncle Dazza" (aged 26) may be publicised on the front page of the Sun newspaper. This may also lead to an appearance on daytime TV and a period of incarceration for "Uncle Dazza".

Bizarrely (see mating section below), elders in Chav communities often have an obsession with Paedophiles ("Pedos") which is often whipped into a frenzy by the British Tabloid press. This prompts one of the Chav communities' quaintest customs - "Pedo" outings, at which Chav young are taught the basics of identifying and dealing with Pedos by (generally female) members of the Chav community. During this event, which often run in summer and take the form of a kind of community Festival, everyone from "Paediatricians" to "Podiatrists", or even just slightly beardy middle aged men, can expect to have their windows smashed, their property vandalised, or possibly even their bodies beaten by a horde of placard wielding, chain smoking Chav grandmothers (even though most of them are barely out of their 30s). In light of this, many civil libertarians are alarmed at government moves to publicise the names of known "pedos" to the communities in which they live. It is likley, however, that identifying an offender will involve a form of higher brain activity, such as reading long words, thus mollifying a significant element of the vigilante threat. Generally, middle aged men with scratchy beards and hygiene problems should avoid Chav communities during "Outing" festivals, as should anybody called Pete, or with a "Ped", "Pod" or similar in their job title or name.

Chavettes are known for their fecundity, and can typically be expected to have a brood of 4 children to unlocatable or jailbird fathers by the age of 17, thus allowing them a range of state support and childcare, freeing up more of their time to loiter in chav herds seeking out new breeding partners whilst "mashed" on alcopop.

The mating ritual for a chav is interesting, particularly in so far as there is often a substantial age difference between the male and female breeding partners (often a decade or more in favour of the male). The male is generally either a relative/ close family friend of the female, or a complete unknown. Usually, mating begins when the male identifies his partner amongst a crowd of loud female chavettes in a communal setting such as JD Whetherspoons. Her receptiveness is often signified by the role of belly fat protruding from her boob tube, the shortness of her skirt, the taughtness of her Croydon facelift, her willingness to flash her diamante thong on demand, and above all her level of inebriation. Once he has identified her as likley to be compliant, the next step is to ply her with more alcohol, and see off competitors with a series of intimidating stares, or even violence if neccessary (although this may result in an early exit from the mating arena). Mating is usually in a secluded location (e.g. bent over the wheelie bins outside).

After a gestation period, usually of 9 months, the Chavette gives birth to an underweight baby who is often addicted to nicotine from the womb. She will typically name her young after a Movie star, boyband member or footballer (Romeo, Jordan, Keanu etc.) or after the place he was conceived (Cinderellas etc.). It is rare for the male Chav to have any part in the upbringing of his young, prefering instead to lodge on a succession of friend's couches until the CSA can no longer locate him and responsibility for his genetic legacy is duly passed to the state.
Chavs can be upwardly mobile. After a short spell in a correctional facility, many of them dispense with twoccing cars and may find cash in hand work as a doorman or labourer. Some of them may graduate to owning a white van, thus signifying that they own their own business or have a contract, which they will then use to tailgate other road users around the main roads of Britain whilst making oscillatory hand gestures.
Listen to the sound of Urban Britain... Can you hear it? Yes.. the sound of Police helicopters... the sound of "Pedos" gently having their windows smashed to a crescendo of jeering.... the sound of a 5 year old boy being mauled by his drunken chav father's pit-bull terrier as he dozes off to the football on sky......
by Turku Bentu July 04, 2006

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330
C.H.A.V
council Housed And Violent

usually spotted around mcdonalds or starting on people through town
"yea i was just walking through town and these chavs came up to me and told me im a twat and to cunt my hair"

"yea council housed scum!"
by Ashley Petherick April 09, 2008

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331
Council Homed And Violent
chav: ex. burberry wearin
by benh08 March 27, 2008

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332
Typicaly working class white children that have some how gone against there perants morrals and dignaty and have singed on to the dole, pepole that hate chavs are often classed as snobs. I hate chavs and where common as they come i mean we live in a two up two down with me,my brother, my mother and my sis and non of us have resorted to becoming that inferier race.
This is how a chavs day tends to go

"Wake up at 11pm"
"arive late to school, because they seem to think that education dose not matter"
"skip afternoon class, go home nick your mums benifit money"
"go out get pissed"
"get a girl pregnant"
"spead a std"
"go home"
"repeat this cycle till there 45 and then there two old to pull even the most hidiouss slapper, that what yers of unprotected sex gets you"
by meee1232323232 March 22, 2008

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333
council house and violent.
Usualy fat people with greasy hair who think
ther 'solid' when with another chav.
LOSERS
chav- FUCK OFF YA FUCKN FUCK FUCK HIPPY SHITE
hippy- CHAV
chav- NER NAH NOR NA. YMA
hippy- yma?
chav- NOT MA MA YA MA
HIPPY- stupid chav
chav- WELL ERR FUCKN SHIT BOLLIX CUNT ARSE SHITE.
hippy- ok, i thort so
-hippy walks away-
by ADgrassGreen4 March 07, 2008

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334
A small person who has not learnt any life morrals and spends there time walking the street coreners at night pissed on chea cider, they tend to vandalise public property,terrorise old and young pepole and skip school so they can get there 13year old friend pregnat in a drunken stumble and be an absent father, they have liitle or no life goals and use the money supposed to be for those in real finacail pridictiment and spen it on these three main compniants
BOOZE
FAGS
DRUGS
this inferiar race will die out in around 1000yers time when the goverment sends them to the moon and they relises that they used all there oxgen and they dont know how to make any more!!!!!!!!!!!
A chav tryed to mugg me, i punched him in the face and kicked his balls (if he has any) he soon left me alone
by hijjj February 13, 2008

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335
Now in the dictionary as: Counsel House And Violence.

Don't know how true this is but anyways...
Chav 1: Init man I beat up sum samalis today
Chav 2: Sick, Lets go back to your place
Chav 1: Nah I can't me mams Kicked me outta it again, Although I dont care, its such a shithole
Chav 2: Yeah man, Counsel House init man
by Allybob February 04, 2008

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336
self invernted term to sound gangsta
just a stupid label
annoying twats who r gangsta wannabees
they think they are hard and solid, but they are just retarded.
they use words such as safe or innit dude omg how retarded
they are hated so much in the uk
they are the worst possible people u can ever get to know
chavs wear tracksuits n fake gold jewellery which just looks retarded gangster wannabbes
they are stupid and have many problems
smoking from a young age losing virgintiy as well at a young age
why do they bother
moshers cant stand chavs
chavs try ganging up on emos but they never win
all chavs are wusses n cowards
they try acting hard but no one is scared of them
chavs always get the shit beat out of them

basic defintion- everyone hates them
a 14 yr old chavette girl and her chav boyfriend try ganging up on an emo girl, but the moshers notice what is going on and beat the shit out of the both of them
by vampira November 18, 2007

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