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164.
A prime example of regressive evolution. What's left over now that Britain's working class has become middle class.
Chavs tend to be either skinny and physically underdeveloped due to excessive consumption of illegal stimulants and long periods running from the police, or morbidly obese due to a diet consisting primarily of any American Burger Corp's finest offerings.

Chavs can often be found loitering in large herds, engaging in a range of antisocial behaviour around urban landmarks such as bus stations, shopping malls or McDonald's - basically anywhere they may come into contact with normal folk whom they can try to intimidate from within the safety of the chav herd.
The Chav female, or chavette, reaches breeding age at the age of 9, at which time her pregnancy to family friend "Uncle Dazza" (aged 26) may be publicised on the front page of the Sun newspaper. This may also lead to an appearance on daytime TV and a period of incarceration for "Uncle Dazza".

Bizarrely (see mating section below), elders in Chav communities often have an obsession with Paedophiles ("Pedos") which is often whipped into a frenzy by the British Tabloid press. This prompts one of the Chav communities' quaintest customs - "Pedo" outings, at which Chav young are taught the basics of identifying and dealing with Pedos by (generally female) members of the Chav community. During this event, which often run in summer and take the form of a kind of community Festival, everyone from "Paediatricians" to "Podiatrists", or even just slightly beardy middle aged men, can expect to have their windows smashed, their property vandalised, or possibly even their bodies beaten by a horde of placard wielding, chain smoking Chav grandmothers (even though most of them are barely out of their 30s). In light of this, many civil libertarians are alarmed at government moves to publicise the names of known "pedos" to the communities in which they live. It is likley, however, that identifying an offender will involve a form of higher brain activity, such as reading long words, thus mollifying a significant element of the vigilante threat. Generally, middle aged men with scratchy beards and hygiene problems should avoid Chav communities during "Outing" festivals, as should anybody called Pete, or with a "Ped", "Pod" or similar in their job title or name.

Chavettes are known for their fecundity, and can typically be expected to have a brood of 4 children to unlocatable or jailbird fathers by the age of 17, thus allowing them a range of state support and childcare, freeing up more of their time to loiter in chav herds seeking out new breeding partners whilst "mashed" on alcopop.

The mating ritual for a chav is interesting, particularly in so far as there is often a substantial age difference between the male and female breeding partners (often a decade or more in favour of the male). The male is generally either a relative/ close family friend of the female, or a complete unknown. Usually, mating begins when the male identifies his partner amongst a crowd of loud female chavettes in a communal setting such as JD Whetherspoons. Her receptiveness is often signified by the role of belly fat protruding from her boob tube, the shortness of her skirt, the taughtness of her Croydon facelift, her willingness to flash her diamante thong on demand, and above all her level of inebriation. Once he has identified her as likley to be compliant, the next step is to ply her with more alcohol, and see off competitors with a series of intimidating stares, or even violence if neccessary (although this may result in an early exit from the mating arena). Mating is usually in a secluded location (e.g. bent over the wheelie bins outside).

After a gestation period, usually of 9 months, the Chavette gives birth to an underweight baby who is often addicted to nicotine from the womb. She will typically name her young after a Movie star, boyband member or footballer (Romeo, Jordan, Keanu etc.) or after the place he was conceived (Cinderellas etc.). It is rare for the male Chav to have any part in the upbringing of his young, prefering instead to lodge on a succession of friend's couches until the CSA can no longer locate him and responsibility for his genetic legacy is duly passed to the state.
Chavs can be upwardly mobile. After a short spell in a correctional facility, many of them dispense with twoccing cars and may find cash in hand work as a doorman or labourer. Some of them may graduate to owning a white van, thus signifying that they own their own business or have a contract, which they will then use to tailgate other road users around the main roads of Britain whilst making oscillatory hand gestures.
Listen to the sound of Urban Britain... Can you hear it? Yes.. the sound of Police helicopters... the sound of "Pedos" gently having their windows smashed to a crescendo of jeering.... the sound of a 5 year old boy being mauled by his drunken chav father's pit-bull terrier as he dozes off to the football on sky......
by Turku Bentu July 04, 2006
 
22.
someone who thinks they are the greatest/hardest person in the world. the whole community hate them
common phrases:
1.GET UP MA BOI!
2.phat
3.innit mush
4.yeah bruv
5.get in there ma boi!
6.think your hard mush?
7.what you lookin' at grebo!

rough translation into modern english:
1.i am gay
2.that is good within statistical boundaries
3.yes fellow companion
4.i agree with your aspects
5.well done my associate!
6.i am *harder* than you becuase i have an obsurd fashion sense
7.i would prefer not to be stared at by someone who has a goal in life or a job as this reminds me how stupid i look
by Matthew Gallagher May 25, 2005
 
23.
Stupid, idiotic morons who beleive they are supreme and that they can do anything they want. There are many ways to spot a Chav: 1. They walk like idiots listening to shit 'music'. 2. They have a thick, weird way of talking especially when they listen to shit R&B music. 3. They are ridiculously rude to people that they have no idea of how hard they are. Chavs are not good friends, they are Pricks and Twats.
Chavs: Fuck you, Fuck off! Oh I godda go watch da match man.

Me: Fuck off you stupid Chav
by Ednatoast Jeeganflipperwick May 11, 2009
 
24.
modern name: chav
Ancient name: burberritous wankerous

Poor thieving hobo got nothing better to do that listen to shite music and waste their time talking to other 'chavs'. They like to steal things, phones and wallets particularly, they wear crappy sports brands and tuck their trousers into their socks like a bunch of f*cking idiots. They are a general waste of space and oxygen and I think they should all be boiled in acid, sealed in concrete and dumped in the sea.
give us a ligwom dan!/ 'sav a toke on dat burn mush! aka give me a fag!
by Shiney McShine November 28, 2003
 
25.
Ahh chavs...
Well, i believe that chavs are a bit like toilet paper...full of shit! So most people hate townies, chavs, kevs (numerous names for them) and so do i. They have no respect for any human being, property or laws at all. Basically they suck. They suck heaving great ballS! They uses phrases such as "u got 'ne fags bruv?" and "you beefin me boys??" etc. Basically they're complete toss pots...my the lord rid the world of these vile beings once and for all!
"Innit bruv innit, look at dose grungies ova der innint. les go beef um up!"
by Nicky Hatten January 14, 2004
 
26.
Stereotypically:

(1)Wears jewellery from Argos
(2)Has a pregnant girlfriend, aged 14
(3)Will punch anyone, especially if they are just minding their own business
(4)Socialise outside of McDonald's, shouting at 10-year-olds that pass in the street
(5)Have their own language and slang
(6)Live on council estates
(7)Wear Adidas, Nike etc. Not the 'real' stuff, cheap rip-offs from a market stall.
(8)Can usually be found with a can of lager in one hand and a cigarette in the other
(9)Uneducated, with no ability to read or write
(10)The bane of society

Though stereotypes may divide us, we are all united in hating chavs.
(1)
Mikey: Look at this class sovereign ring! An' the gold scratches off it yer wannit to be silver!

(2)
Dave: Banged up Bex, now she's got her fifth on the way.
Steve: How old is she?
Dave: 12 next month.

(3)
Steve: What 'chu lookin' at? Bring it!
*Scared stranger hurries away, avoiding eye contact*
(4)Mikey: Wanna go out to town?
Dave: Maccy's?
Mikey: Yeh.

(5)
Mikey: Innit, blud.

(6)
Self-explanatory

(7)
Mikey: Got meself some Adidas an' Nike off the market stall. Innit.

(8)
Dave: Yeh, yer startin'?

(9)
Steve: Err, yeh, mmmh *grunts*

(10)
Two chavs decide to have a drinking contest, but both collaspe from alcohol poisoning and eventually die in hospital. Who won? Society.
by Layla Perry February 15, 2009
 
27.
a slag who is always pushing a buggy with screaming kids and she's swearing at them in a scrubby common accent, she will have a cigerette in her hand, she will have acne at 25, permed hair, herpes, will wear rings on every finger and a loads of cheap necklaces most common of these has a doll on it. they wear huge massive gold loop earing which they put their ankles behind when they are having sex so that their legs don't get tired.
see: chaz, slut, slapper
also try: townie, kev,
by Anonymous September 25, 2003
 
28.
Child, derived from the Gipsy/Polari word for children: chavies
We've got to break camp sharpish, I'll strap the mare you gather the chavies into the wagon.
by Haruspex July 16, 2008