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67.
The chav is much like a wild beast. The chav is commonly found in packs hunting on the open plains of the council estate. Their main source of food is found at the local McDonalds, where a Big Mac and fries will see them tamed for over 20 minutes.

The chav's delicacy is known as Vegrandis Parvulus or Small Child.

Aproaching a chav is thought to be very dangerous, especially of you are under the age of 12 and/or a lone female.

Chavs are also responsible for the crime ratings increase that their country of origin has seen over the last 5 years. Unfortunatly, chavs are seen as the cancer of the United Kingdom and as such, many professionals have been searching for a cure. As of yet, all known cures are still illegal.

The chav is also known to posess many magical powers. A chav can afford to own a car and modify it to the extreme (maxing), whilst still being on the dole. The chavs powers also extend to their ability to 'Get away with murder' in a court of law. Law abiding, tax-paying citzens should stay clear of any legal conflicts when it comes to chavs, as they will undoubtably be found to be at fault. Yes, if you was subject to an unprovoked attack by a group of 20 chavs, and left for dead, you will have been recorded on their knock-off video mobile phones and will be found guilty in a court of law for being in the wrong place at the wrong time, and using excessive force to protect yourself.

The chav is however misunderstood. Many people beleive that the chav is illiterate. This is untrue! How else would they know that the paper they have picked up is the 'daily sport'?

The chav also has a very high reproductive system, partially due to the fact that they would 'Shag a trapped rat' and their lack of experience with contraceptives.

The chav is also inexplicably strong as a pack of 20+. On it's own a chav is about as solid as a new-born baby's turd.

The female of the species is known as the Chavette, and commonly wears a white knock-off tracksuit and 9crt Gold plated Clown Pendant.

The male of the species is known as the Chav, and can be seen sporting burberry, tracksuits and cheap 9crt Gold plated Soveriegn Rings. These also double up as a weapon.

The prefered method of transport is a mates clapped out, highly modified, 2-door shit box of a car with an oversized exhaust and clap trap stereo. They are skilled in getting more people into a small car than any other species known to man kind.
Jordan, A.K.A Katie Price - The ultimate chavette; Big titted minger with a fake orange tan.

Blazin' Squad - Pack of numerous dickheads trying to rap someone elses songs.

Goldie lookin' chain - Group of welsh wannabe rappers.

There are many more. If you wish to see the Chav in it's natural habitat, visit McDonalds on a Saturday Afternoon or take an evening stroll through your local council estate. (Please, do not go 'Chav Watching' alone)
by ConcreteMonkey February 03, 2005
 
29.
The IQ of one of these peices of scum-shits can be found using the following equation:

IQ = 1
_________________
no. of gold chains^2

If you are a chav yourself, and cannot grasp the significance of this equation, it means: The more gold chains you have, the dumber you will.
2)a) If A chav has a total of only 3 gold chains on him/her, how intelligent is she/he?

IQ = 1
__
3^2

IQ = 1/9

The Chav has an IQ of 1/9. The average is 90-100.
by Comrade Dmitri February 18, 2004
 
30.
Allegedly stands for council house and violent. These are the dregs of British society, they are recognisable because they go to the same outfitter (JD Sports) and wear polyester shell clothing and baseball caps. They perfect a malnourished look by spending all their money on cigarettes and alcohol. They will often subscribe to Sky satellite television (or steal a decoder) and enjoy film sequels.
Trev and Bex died when trying to ramraid a kabab shop because the 24-hour garage had closed the previous week when the owner was shot by a gang of chavs.
by Ged Carroll September 14, 2004
 
31.
Pricks, who hunt in packs
chav: got a cig mate?
pedestrian: oh no sorry.
chav2: lend us 2p m8
pedestrian: ok?
chav: cum on den
pedestrian: im sorry?
chav2: who sed ya could talk dik ed
pedestrian: erm?
chav3,4,5 and 6: fight, fight, fight
pedestrian: im just walking home
chavette: ya takin da piss
pedestrian:listen im jus walking home, whats ya problem
all chavs: oooooooh
chav:cum on den
pedestrian: erm? *walks to chav*
all chavs: shit *run off*
pedestrian: erm?
by Molluz - [zn770w] October 06, 2005
 
32.
1. Human equivalent of vermin. Fake sportswear, large gold jewellery (bought from argos) and (at least) quadrouple pushchair with females of the 'species'. They use a little known language derived from English slang and American 'gangsta'.Most reproduce by the age of 14, sometimes younger.Chavs are created by their parents through serious neglect or adequate education of any kind. Although the 'species' is so new, their predicted life span is around 40 years, enough time to raise a least 5 broods. They can be found around fast food outlets, shopping malls and other similer places. Their main transport is either a 'modded' shite bucket or a police vehicle of some sort.
I saw a chav a minute ago. Obviously, I shot the bastard
by Notoriousdoc May 28, 2005
 
33.
Average male chav stands around 2 foot 7 inches fully grown, Sporting 2/4 stripe adidas lookalike tracksuits ((rips included)), About a hundred million fake pieces of jewellery which they call their bling ((Might explain why they only grow to 2 foot 7, Too much weight)) The common chav when reaching the required driving age for chavs ((around 8 years old)) poleslide into the chav cave, and into their chavmobile or 'chaviot', Rev it about a billion times ((because they think it makes them hard and it also makes the chavettes wet)), Before hitting the nitros.. Well kicking in their AA batteries they must fit into these 'maxed out' Novas, Neons and bodykits and a paintjob that looks so dodgy it must have been made with 'paint by numbers - for chavs'Their driving skills about as impressive as the chavettes buggy pushing skills, Both hitting everything in sight. ((The average chavette falls pregnant around age 12)) After arriving at McDonalds ((only place chavs don't get asked for ID for being 2 foot 7)) They huddle in their crew and wait for the chance to look hard. When finally the unsuspecting 4 year old comes along licking his ice cream, The chav will jump up screaming 'wat ya lukin' at, wot?.. ya wan' beef!?' ((But if the 4 year old defended himself, The chavs would scatter, Some jumping into nearby bushes, Gardens, Dog Houses, Sewers and Push Chairs of the chavettes)) This is, Of course if they don't have a getaway chaviot nearby. You may say chavs are stupid... and you'd be right, The average chav drops out of school after learning the 2 times table, Most even before this as the work is too difficult ((9 out of 10 chavs think 2+2 is 7)) Lack of education forcing them to make their own language, Can be mistaken for English after a few pints. The chavs cap is like a Samurai's sword, It's like their soul, Slap their caps off and their powerless. Although their final defense is hair so short it'd give you a rash, The shock of this awful site usually giving them enough time to tuck their 4stripes into their socks and leg it back to their 7 time pregnant chavette back at their 1 room flat in the council block. ((Common chavette has hair pulled back so tight it pulls every single part of the face with it.. Pretty much making them look like the bug monster from MIB when he attempts to look like one)) For some unknown reason a chav will always have a bigger brother, Making me think they must all be inbred, Their father being their brother, So on and so forth.
~6 chavs outside McDonalds~
"Yo bruv, Dizzy new heights wot!?"
"Yea blood, Seen, Heard, Smelt"
"Seen.. Seen"
by Liquid Sonic October 25, 2004
 
34.
A fucking discrace, where did they all come from, 30 years ago my town was cool, now it sucks. Grubby little houses and burnt out cars
looks like evolution cocked it again
by big cheese October 29, 2003
 
35.
chavs are the inferior race of people that plagues all towns with a McDonalds in. The boys wear tracksuits (trousers usually baggy) hoddies with the hoods up if they dont have a chat on! Most chavs wear hats so low down you cannot see their face or balancing on their head that usually consists of no brain! They hang about the streets in gangs due to the fact that they are all little faggots who cannot fight,also gettin pissed and causing trouble for the people who are minding their own business. Chavette's are the loud mouth slags walking about shopping centres or towns smoking, swearing and starting on any other girl that walks past them. Normaly pregnant at the age of 14. Most chavette's are dressed in fake burberry or valour tracksuits, gold chains with letters, dolls or a clown about 7 loop earings in each ear, 2 or 3 rings on each finger! Hair stuck to their head and pulled back to much they cannot move their eyebrows!
It is impossable to understand chavs due to the strange decline in their speech skills or the evolution of chav talk!
chav1 "im bored wot can we do?"
chav2 "lets try to fing some grungers and start beef with them"
chav1 "ye dirty grungers!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
2 chavs outside a shop, a person with black top n trousers walks past
chav1 "errrr look dirty goth"
chav2 "errrr y dnt u....eat raw meat!"
chav1 "hahaha good 1!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
chav1 "ite blud"
chav2 "ite"
chav3 "sup manz"
chav1 "nutin much blud jus smokin"
chav3 "arrrr saves me!"
chav2 "twos me brudda!"
chav1 "k"
chav3 "safe"
chav2 "bare safe"
chav1 "wot we doin 2nite manz?"
chav3 "lets get pissed in the street!"
chav2 "arrrrr blud idea!"
by E.Matt May 19, 2005