Charter Communications Marketing Plan:

1. Find a former-hick community, say, Sparks, Nevada that is rapidly growing technologically.
2. Buy up all the rights to the cable lines within the new housing complexes in construction, and make those cable lines available only to Charter only.
3. When new owners of a home move in, bombard their mailbox with faster internet service ads.
4. Provide the service, seemingly superior in speed and reliability compared to their nonexistent competitors at first, but then after the first week, totally flips out, and has long downtimes and ignorant customer support reps that love to talk back against angry customers.
5. When customer opts out of the service, remind them that they need to pay a $200+ separation fee because their first month is not up, and not even the first 2 years of their contract.
6. When customer REALLY WANTS OUT, then remind him or her that their ass still belongs to Charter, and theres no other alternative except a slower and still just as unreliable ClearWire Wi-Fi broadband in the neighborhood.
7. When customer threatens to sue, Charter pays electric company to cut off all power, except for a few D-Batteries to power a portable TV connected to a portable VHS player, reminding them that they can stop this by switching back.
8. Don't provide them any service anyways, and bill them $4000 a month in retaliation for their lifetimes. Also armed guards patrol the outside of their doors at all times, with rottweilers bred for the taste of human flesh drooling on the windows.
Fucking hell, why did I pay for this Charter Communications contract?
by C Tan October 18, 2007
The all time worst cable and internet company on earth. Their service blows and is always down, and their customer service department is full of morons, half of whom can barely speak at a 2nd grade level. The board of directors obviously hires idiots for low pay and takes advantage of their monopoly to get rich off of the shittiest company on earth
I have a big term paper due tomorrow and "charter" is down again
by Kevin May 26, 2004
Worst internet provider ever... Better speak Arabic if your calling their customer support.
I waited 3 months for a technician to come fix my cable lines. According to Customer Service, the technician had gotten a little too drunk the night before he was scheduled to come, and blew his head off playing Russian Roulette at a bar. FAIL of an excuse Charter Communications!
by rob994 September 10, 2010

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