| 1. | chair-distance | ||
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When you are sitting on a chair and you are thirsty and
need a drink. You cant because because your like stuck on the chair. You eventually ask someone to get it for you. John sat on the couch watching the 'Simpsons' when he got suddenly thirsty.'I cant go get that' he said to himself.
"Can you go get a drink for me?" He asked his sister. "No! Get it yourself!" She said. "But its not chair-distance!" John said. |
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| 2. | heart attack lever | ||
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The attachment underneath most common office chairs used to raise or lower the chair's height, or when pulled out, to make whoever will sit in it next look like an idiot. When the lever is in, the occupant can recline to a reasonable distance. When this lever is pulled out however, the unwitting fool will recline way further than thought possible, causing this person to experience the feeling of falling. This may result in, but is not limited to: accelerated heart rate, loud outbursts of curse words, loss of colon control, and (according to a study I just made up) over 1000 heart attacks per year. Frank: "Holy @$%#!"
*office laughter* Frank: "Who the hell pulled the heart attack lever out on my chair?!" *silence* Alex: "Does something smell like zoo poo?" |
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| 3. | lumbrella | ||
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The piece of wood that is used in Umbrella Cricket to hold competing umbrellas in place until such time they successfully launch themselves. In some backwards parts of the world, this is referred to as balcony awning wood frame. There are two ways in which to win Umbrella Cricket. The first way to win is to be the first umbrella off the lumbrella and the other is total distance flown from lumbrella. Sport started in West Perth, Western Australia but can be found on balconies all over the world. To be introduced as Olympic sport in China in 2008, much to the delight of the local Cricket Umbrella industry. 1) Sir Cuggalot of the Knights of the Cugg Table has begun the ceremonial placing of the Cricket Umbrellas on the LUMBRELLA by which the fist day of the 5 Day Umbrella Cricket Test begins....
2) Ricko precariously tip toes on the chair and reaches through the lumbrella for the Cricket Umbrellas to no avail. He must then walk to work in the rain or don a garbage bag for protection. He could also just dance between the rain drops. |
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| 4. | Crumb Daddy | ||
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1)A living thing who goes the extra distance to get all of the remaining scrap from somthing.
2) A living thing who does somthing very stupid and could result in being teased or laughed at. 1) That crumb daddy KoKo went to extreme measures to the get remaining food on the ground.
2) The crum daddy of the class fell off of his chair and broke his leg, and we all laughed. |
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| 5. | short changed | ||
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1. To be extremely close to accomplishing something only to have it unexpectedly taken away at the last minute.
2. To mis-judge distance or position resulting in injury to yourself or another person 1. I just got "short changed" by that quick traffic light
2. I just "short changed" myself by shifting in my chair wrong and injuring my "private area" |
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| 6. | afrabnormality | ||
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Refers to an African American participating in an activity outside of his normal environment (or what "society" feels is his normal environment). Examples include: 1. Michael Steele, Republican Party Chair 2. Willy T. Ribbs or Bill Lester, NASCAR drivers 3. Willie O'Ree, NHL player 4. Andre Horton or Suki Horton, Alpine skiers Girl #1: Did you see Michael Steele on the Today show yesterday spouting his Republican drivel?
Sister #2: Nah. I try to keep afrabnormality like that at a distance. |
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| 7. | thesisitis | ||
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The feeling one gets when thinking about writing their thesis, usually making them feel physically and/or mentally ill. Symptoms can include, nausea, lethargy, incoherent conversations and sometimes momentary lapses of motor skills (eg. walking). Without treatment thesisitis can result in excessive desk chair racing and may result in injury. Student: Man, every time I think about my thesis I feel sick.
Friend: Well maybe you've got thesisitis, it's probably a good idea to take the day off. Student: Today I rode an elephant backwards up the stairs. Concerned friend: Pretty sure you have thesisitis... I'm just gonna keep my distance in case it's contagious. |
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