The general theory that your mobile phone (cell phone) knows you better than anyone else based on hearing all of your phone calls, knowing all of your texts, facebook updates, emails, GPS locations, etc. and is therefore one of your best friends. After all, there is no person or device that you interact with more than your phone.
Nah, they're just cell mates, always texting. Her phone bill must be longer than my dick.
Speaking of, my Japanese gardner called, he wants his penis back. Snap!