a catholic is a person who belives in the father almighty creator of heaven and earth.It is the religion that jesus created and the only true religion. it has a pope as its leader starting with saint peter.a catholic recognizes the eucharist as being the true body and blood of christ.
person #1: gee, you seem like a catholic.
person #2: well thank you.
jesus: did someone say catholic?
person#1:yes you did.
jesus:hmmmm.are you both catholic?
person#1: nope im not but peter over there is.
person#2: im not peter im person#2.
person#1: oh well excuse me then!
jesus: stop it!
person #2: listen to him.
person#1: well i dont have time i gotta go make another lying religion.
by holy cow99 May 28, 2009
The supreme religion that is above all else.
Catholics are off the heezy fo sheezy.
by Anonymous March 25, 2003
a person of the Catholic faith.

The real resason i am writing this to clear up many beliefs about Catholics. One thing you people must understand is that one person's actions do not account for an entire group. If someone does wrong, his etire family is also wrong. Many definitions here on urban dictionary were "all catholics are wife-beatin, child-molesting drunks!!!"
No. Bad person. lol

We do not hate gay/lesbians. if any individual catholic appears that way, it does not mean that all of us do!! what we belive is that no, homosexuallity is not right, but we do believe in forgiveness. If u are sorry, god will forgive you.

If certain priests and church staff sexually molested children, why does that mean all catholic men molest the boys of the church? and what church official came and said "yea, thats what we do!!! we support them!!!!" us Catholics do not condone the actions of those men, we condemn them. but if they are truly, truly sorry, and repent for their sins, God will forgive them.
End of story. AND
i personally belive in live-and-let-live, so do what u want, gay/lesbians.

now for sex, the topic of the times.
first, I personally belive that if u do love the person and they loe u, then fuck your brains out. there, i said it, sorry God.
What i am supposed to belive is that we should wait until we are married with the person we love. sex should be treated as a gift, to only 1 person ever. (yea, right- sorr again)
masturbation- i do it and love it, but hey, god knows it and im still not smited!!!! OMG ITS A MIRACLE!!!!! all i know is that no, u wont go to hell if u do it once. im not that up-to-date in what the Vatican thinks of this certain topic now...

As a catholic, i belive that Catholisism is the One true faith, and we follow the one, true God. we dont think that if ur not a catholic, your fucked. we just think were right, and if that's so bad, what does EVERY OTHER RELIGION THINK????? that they're wrong? i think not...

no, we dont think everything is a sin.
it's called common sense, people... every parent, wether Atheist (sp?), Bhudist, or chatholic, raises their children to be good people. and good means not doing wrong, NOT FUCKIN PERFECT, CUZ EVERYONE MAKES MISTAKES, just not bad.

yes, we do belive in forgiveness of sins. if u do it over and over again, u can still be forgiven. DONT THINK, YEA BOI, HERES MY KNIDA RELIGION, "OK FATHER, LAST WEEK I ANAL RAPED THIS 12-YEAR-OLD DOWN THE BLOCK AND THEN FUCKIN KILLED MY PARENTS, SOLD THEIR STUFF ,AND SPENT THE MONEY OF FUCKIN SHIT! ok were good, see you next week!!!!

no no no no... "sorry" is the key. only if u are truly sorry, and God will kno if u are, will u be forgiven.

now, this other definition hurt me...
"An evil, hate-mongering, supposedly Christian church responsible for as many deaths as Hitler, or maybe more, over the years. Have been around for about 1400 years, and originally did not associate themselves with Christianity.

My great-great-great-great-g reat Grandmother was alive in 1700's Europe. She was declared a heretic and burned at the stake when my 4x Great Grandmother was only a few years old. - This happened all the time for a few hundred years. They treated poor citizens cruelly, randomly murdered Jews and Muslims, and were cruel to cats and other animals."

way too far
how the fuck do we not associate ourselves with christianity???

now on to my favorite topic: the Pope, the Holy Father, His Holiness.
why would he be the target of some definitions? ND WHY ARE PEOPLE OBSESSED WITH HIS FUCKING HAT??????

well, im done ranting for now. see you people next time
anti-catholic- You people suck
me- live and let live

Jesus- so anticatholic, umm... dont know how to say this but, bye!!!

(falls to hell)
by bruceys yams February 25, 2008
A certain type of religion that most crazy people belong to. They claim to have forgiveness but it is only for themselves. They belive they are always right and are actually the reaon for must hatred and injustice in the world. They enjoy pass times of telling other people how to live their lives, bullying people if they question god, and denying actual logic. They think they are sane but in reality their the reason for all the evil in the world/
Catholic Person: I think science is the work of the devil and that gravity is actually god's never dying love for me.
smart Person: Wow, somebody is clearly Catholic
by clockstopper1010 February 12, 2011
A bunch of idiots who post definitions on urban dictionary depicting that there religion is more superior while using the word "we" thinking that everyone else is a slave to this cult and wanting to bend over and take one from the pope.
"Hey Johnny." "Want to go on urban dictionary and waste an hour of our time putting a very inspiring catholic definition up?" "No, I think ill just go get laid." "......HERETIC!"
by chuckster12345 December 05, 2008
fucking crazy ass whore who thinks he can do bad shit, kill people, steal things, and generally be a bad person and all he has to do is confess to a priest and all will be forgiven. Doesn't believe in rights for women or anybody who isn't "white" or heterosexual. Offended by free thought, free speech, freedom in general.
that stupid catholic robbed a bank and then was aquitted 'cause he said three hale marys
by SmartPerson2008 August 04, 2008
the religion who happened to be the first chritians until martin luther came with his head up his ass and tried to force the catholic church to ass and take out things out of the bible. even thought the bible has a warning on the back saying ne1 who adds or taked out of the bible will suffer the plagues that r fitured in the bible" thats y catholics think hes burning in hell.plus catholics are christians for u dumbasses who dont believe so cuz the bible says that ne1 who believes jesus is the messiah is christian! and catholics believe so , so pull ur head out of ur ass!!!
ppl who insult catholics are hypocrites because u kno wat? u aint a good christian cuz the bible says respect all religions. heh u hypocrite.
by jennylovesean April 10, 2006
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