The church which sprang up in Rome during the time of Christ but not ordained by him.
In the 1300-1600's anyone who was not Catholic was murdered by these "Godly" people. Yup. Torture chambers, iron maidens, thumbscrews, anal pears, the whole bit. Not to mention beheading and burning at the stake.
The catholics DID NOT however, persecute atheists (surprise?)
Protestant religions, despite getting whacked out of existence as soon as the Catholics found out of their being, finally managed to prosper in the 1600's and eventually found their way to America. Then the Catholics showed up... *chop* *chop*
The Catholics also support homosexual activities. A "live as you please and then confess" lifestyle and such. You can sin all you want and confessing will make it legit.
When monks/priests and other "laymen" take a vow of celebacy, it is only in regards to women, children/young boys are not off limits.
"Man, those catholic schoolgirls look fine with their uniforms! You know she's a freak underneath it all!"
"Dude, you go out with a catholic girl? Your ass woulda been ashes for that not too many years ago. The catholic church doesn't like you infidels."
"So, how long has your little cousin been going to confession? Let's check his anus and see how loose it is, you catch him"
by Clinton Washington May 24, 2006
Top Definition
One of the most corrupt institutions on the planet. While the world goes hungry they have to buy fancy gold shit to put on their bishops, cardinals and popes.
Catholic to Mobster : ZOMG the pope just excommunicated members of the mafia.

Mobster: BFD, at least admit we are crooks and don't cover up for pedophiles unlike the Catholic Church.
by MrHobbes69 June 21, 2014
The Catholic Church refers to the main Christian body of believers following the teachings of Jesus Christ. The Catholic Church is made up of laity and clergy. The clergy are ministers ordained through Apostolic succession (successive ordination of ministers since the time of the apostles). The are three types of ordination: Bishop, Priest, and Deacon. The bishop is the 'local ordinary' of an area of the Church (e.g. Philadelphia). The priests are the bishops aids in the church and the deacons assist the priests. The Catholic Church is very vocal in it's opposition to contraception, abortion, non-marital sexual behavior and unbridaled consumerism. It claims as it's source of revelation the Old and New Testaments and Sacred Tradition, guided through the interpretation of the magisterium. Many false teachings have been promulgated in an attempt to destroy the Catholic Church. Included in these are: the nature of the Crusades, the actions of Pope Pius XII during WWII, that Jesus had children and the Church is trying to cover it up, and many more. To learn more about the Catholic Church seek out the Catechism of the Catholic Church or a number of other books widely available.

Catholic Church -- refers to an actually assembly of Catholics... the building in which Masses are held and the Eucharist is present.
I went to a Catholic Church last Sunday. The Catholic Church spoke out against contraception last week.
by Ben5516 November 21, 2006
The largest business in history
The damn catholic church has been reeling in dough for centuries! Screw CEO'ing a new product, I'm makin' a new religion.
by richard markers July 21, 2009
N., (kath-lick Ch-er-ch): A place of worship of Jesus and yelling adult-themed jokes until the bishop takes you to the monastery in the back and spanks you while you are naked.
Priest: "Welcome to St.Shithead Catholic Church!"
by FelixHunter November 23, 2014
What liberals blame for world hunger and all other problems.
They call it racist even though every latino is catholic
Liberal: Dam it the catholic church made my car break down
by Vh levanta December 22, 2009
One of many original roots of discrimination and hatred.
Fears competition that could make man sway from their god so they tell us that things are wrong or sins.
PromotesPrejudice against threats such as women, other religions pagans
HAVE killed more people than Nazi's
Set's ridiculous rules and regulations about what are right and wrong, and how to compensate for them.
1. The Catholic Church was responsible for promoting intolerance throughout history, such as in the case of:
a. Women
b. Jews
c. Muslims
d. Protestants
e. Pagans
f. Every other religion
e. Liberals
f. Gays/Lesbians
d. Abortionists
g. "Sinners"
h. Anyone not "like them" or that go against their "beliefs"

2. Catholics hold "Beliefs" I don't 'believe' what you believe. How the hell do you know anything anyways; have you talked to God? Here is an idea; believe what you want, but don't condemn, condone, or object to anything. Period. If the Catholic "God" is going to judge us, then Catholics shouldn't have to.

Note on abortion: Do you want to be the child of a rape victim? Or a 16 year old girl? Or both? Didn't think so...
the catholic church is not one of the lost books of the bible as they would lead to believe... the catholic church is the help of those unable to enter the congregation of the LORD by want of disposition. it's aim is to help others to have fulfilled laws old and new testaments written in there hearts ... it is for those who have no spiritual father. basically it is so so you can be accepted by the community of cristiandom .. if you are a bastard you cannot be accepted into the congregation of the LORD until you have fulfilled all ten generations the catholics work as a people to help those who must learn in completeness the law of there beliefs ... the church simply represents that... it basically means the fulfillment with the help of the catholic church of all ten generations so that any one can enter the tabernacle of the LORD
the creation of the catholic church... a guy died martyred his cause for 1000 years in jesus generation to create the catholic church he being the old testament and jesus being the new ... that essentially was how the catholic began..
by angus david macfarlane May 25, 2007
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