Joe (texting): Hey man, do you think you'll be able to pick me up after the show?
Ricardo (texting back): :3
Dave (to Joe): Looks like you just got catfaced.
Joe: Hey, want to go out for a beer later on?
Joe: Yeah, that doesn't help me.
Basically one giant head and a little body, cat face is a minimally anthropomorphic cat which can talk in a French accent but thinks that moths are legal tender and that rubbing something with his face makes it his. Gives sage advice to those that need it. Also tends to be a bit long-winded.
Cat face: There is no ash flavored with fish in here. There is no poopy wood products favored with beef. What is this? This is no good for me. I must go to the shops, yes.
Cat face: See? I'm rubbing you. There you go. You safe in here. You belong to me.
Old lady: This is a lovely room dearie, but I need to go get my pension.
How about those ash treats shaped like a fish, so you are under the illusion you are eating a fish, but you are not. You are eating the ash.
Store clerk: Not today, no.
Cat face: But ash is very important in my diet! And to my people too! What are you, some sort of catist? That's right, yes, I said it.
Store clerk: We've got real meat treats you kn...
Cat face: You are very funny. You talk, but all I hear is silliness.
Cat face: Cleaning products should be bought from a store, kids, not for the silly prices on your doorstep. 4.99 for scrubbing gloves? What are they made of, huh, diamonds? You should hope not, because that would be scratchy, like my claw.