| 22. | M.I.A. | ||
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(Masturbation Induced Arthritis) An acute inflamation and/or repetetive motion injury in the wrist and forearms, caused by severe repetetive self pleasuring masturbatory episodes. Usually occurs in teenage to young adult males. Severe cases require patient to avoid any and all sexual stimulation. Very often mistaken or misdiagnosed as carpal tunnel syndrome or tendenitus, or tennis elbow. I can't play hockey today cuz my "M.I.A." is acting up.
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| 23. | poofyfinger | ||
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Poofyfinger is a derogatory name given to anyone who plays games too much using a mouse. It is the next generation medical term, much like how Carpal Tunnel Syndrome became known in the past fifteen years. "Johnny, you better stop playing those games, or else you'll develop a poofyfinger"
Doctor: I'm sorry Susan, it is absolutely necessary to amputate your poofyfinger Patient: ok |
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| 24. | Clitorwrist | ||
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Carpal Tunnel Syndrome caused by repetitive stress to the wrist over time associated with female masturbation. She suspected that she had Clitorwrist because of the sharp pain and numbness in her wrist and hand that was caused by her overactive self-stimulation regimen.
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| 25. | contra thumb | ||
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A sore and/or numb sensation between the nuckle and base of the thumb caused by hitting the joystick button of a game controller for hours on end. The ailment became common after playing a classic side-scrolling shooter called, "Contra". Sometimes confused with carpal tunnel syndrome. "I was up all night playing video games, and I woke up the next day with contra thumb."
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| 26. | Calpol tunnel | ||
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The syndrome where reaching for the child paracetamol shoots a pain up your arm Patient: When I reach for the children's paracetamol, I get a shooting pain up my arm. Any idea what it might be?
Doctor: Hmm, sounds like a bad case of Calpol Tunnel! |
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| 27. | Magikarpal tunnel | ||
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Pain and/or weakness in the hands and wrists caused by prolonged playing of Pokémon. Gary: "Dude, is that an old-school Game Boy? What are you playing?"
Ash: "Pokémon Red." Gary: "Awesome!" Ash: "Yeah, except Magikarpal tunnel set in an hour ago, and my hands are killing me." |
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| 28. | Lonely Receptionist Syndrome | ||
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Work-induced ailment caused by understimulation of the intellect and excessive internet access. Symptoms include frantic e-mails nobody cares about; knowledge of your 3rd grade best friend's Facebook status at all time; and carpal tunnel syndrome. Cures include getting a better job. Today I sent my ex-boyfriend six e-mails within twenty minutes asking why he didn't respond to my previous e-mail, from 10 minutes earlier. Had zero answers after 35 minutes, which is unacceptable. Then I posted 5 Facebook statuses about how I felt. My psychosis is obviously a symptom of Lonely Receptionist Syndrome.
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