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8. shih tzu
A carbon-based life form, masquerading as a dog, not yet satisfactorily proven to be of terrestrial origin.

They may be the product of genetic manipulation or some other advanced technology, as they certianly don't behave anything like real dogs; they are more like tiny furry humans. They don't talk, but that's probably only because they have such disdain for us. They may well be cats in dog suits, but no zipper has yet been located. They look like a cross bewteen an Ewok, a Mugwai and a Hobbit; they have large, round eyes with a gentle, loving expression, which conceals the vast, malign intellect within. They are clever, inquisitive, ingenious and capable of thoughtful malice and destruction. They can look and act VERY cute when they want to, and really know how to work a crowd. They may be related in some way to lephrechauns, as they seem to have a number of paranormal powers, including the ability always to be the wrong side of a closed door.

It is not disputed that for may years, Shih Tzu were the pampered pets of the Chinese Imperial family. As a result of this, Shih Tzu seem to have a racial memory of being carried round on silk cusions with golden tassels, and fed tiny morsels of tasty food by a small army of subservient flunkeys. Since this is what they are used to, this is what they expect. Any Shih Tzu inserted into a "normal" house consisting of adult and immature humans, other dogs, cats etc. will, despite their diminutive size, quickly become "boss" of t...
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9. Dependasaurus
A gossipy, loud mouthed, jobless woman who is a dependent of her unhappily married husband.  They often target unsuspecting military members to be their paycheck, I mean husband.  Once they have married them, they immediatly take credit for all things that their spouse has accomplished.  "We've been in the military for blank years..", "We'll be promoted next month", "We've been to Iraq twice."  They enjoy driving their minivans or company car around with their husband's position title on the windshield because they command the same respect that their husbands get.  You can find them congregrated at Pampered Chef parties, where they feed off the hostess, I mean food that the hostess prepares..  The Dependasaurus is much like a cackling hen, always sitting on their ever growing ass, talking about anyone and everyones business, while their husband stays late at work so he doesn't have to come home to another McDinner nite, cuz the wife he bought 5 years earlier has morphed into a waste of carbon who's let herself go, doesn't do anything but spend his money, neglect his kids, sit on her ass all day and uses the common excuse of not knowing how to cook to avoid making some kind of nutritious meal for the family.  Dependasauruses come in all shapes, colors, and sizes, the majority of them are large beasts, however a growing number of them are starting out smaller.  No matter how small they are before they get married, this is just a clever ploy to attract dumb shallow men, and D...
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