The biggest douchebag in the history of time. A person who exemplifies all that it means to be a douche.

An assclown that generally speaks as if they know what they are talking about however has no fucking clue. Different than just the plain assclown by their pure consistancy has earned a rank of captain, yet are not quite the level of an admiral, which requires a lifelong dedication to being a douchebag.

Can also be identified by their need to tell long winded retarded stories about their friends who are also douchebags of lower rank with lame nick-names consisting of the names "bone" and "dawg."