71
A citizen of Canada who is often absurdly obsessed with their U.S. neighbors to the South. Always claiming superiority whilst at the same time demonstrating almost child-like naivety about all things American.

Generally politically left leaning, a Canadian relies heavily on their government for healthcare, social services, and "thinking for them". Most Canadians live mediocre lower-middle class lives and have a good basic education.

World-class excellence only rarely emerges from Canadians, although world-class self righteousness is quite common. If you think of Canadians as movie critics, not movie makers you start to understand them.

"Canadian" is derogatory slang for any under-achiever with a chip on their shoulder and a misguided sense of blame.
Canadians brag about their rationed second rate healthcare system, while paying outrageous taxes to support it. (High Income Taxes, $40 bucks for a case of the beer they brag so much about, ~$4.50 US / gallon of gas, even though they are sitting on the largest reserves outside of the middle east, 13% sales tax on purchases).

Oh ya, you have "free" healthcare. C-L-U-E-L-E-S-S !!

They brag about multiculturalism, because they have no identity of their own. Being "not American" is a pretty sad self definition, and "hockey, beer, crappy healthcare, and donuts" does NOT qualify as a definition either.

Bragging about Canadian accomplishments is also naive considering the accomplishments of other developed countries would span volumes, not fit on a single sheet of paper.
by ex-Canadian October 26, 2011
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72
Remotely related to the human race. In reality, penguins that smoke weed to imply their connection to humanity. Very weak minded, as Canadia is not a real place and is in fact a figment of our imagination. It is the giant desolate landmass that penguins have been able to light up with rocks and wood.
Nigga have you seen that Canadian? - Real African
Nigga thats my penguin? - Black American

Fuck, you see that penguin? - American Slut
Damn bitch, that's my mom! - Canadian
by Jewish Mewtwo a.k.a. Moses December 05, 2008
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73
A polite, un-armed american with health insurance.
Also born with +10 stat boost to cold resistance, a talent for winter-sports and an in-explainable need to use silly euphemisms to describe native currency (example: looney)
"All the canadians we met were incredibly friendly, untill we picked up a hockey stick.."
by Deadpendulum December 06, 2015
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74
1. Another word for a queer. 2. Wannabe Icelandic people.
Person 1 - I heard that guy was Canadian

Person 2 - Poor Guy
by Iceeeeeland October 26, 2007
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75
A lumberjack riding on a moose in a blizzard, who is carrying a canadian flag on a hockey stick, drinking maple syrup mixed with Tim Hortons coffee, and commonly says "sorry, eh" in the English-speaking provinces or "désolé, eh" in Québec.
"That Canadian looks so retarded! I want to throw a Cheerwine bomb at him!"
by xHilarious iFunny December 01, 2014
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76
A person who unknowingly hates themselves for being a citizen of an inferior country. This self hate is brought on by a disease called iwishiwuzamericandis. Causes of this disease are unknown but have been linked to shitty cold weather, piss labeled as beer, failure to master one's "own" sport (Bruins?), lack of culture and awkward social cues. Experts say the only thing good coming from America's nerdy little redheaded stepbrother is high grade marijuana. It's speculated, though, that the US will be better at that in just a couple years. Side effects include trying to be American but in a very sissy way.
Canadian at Canadian bar:

Ooh, I hate those Americans, with their low taxes and awesome weather and theme parks and Miley Cyrus. I love maple syrup.

Mexican at Canadian bar: Are you kidding?
(mumbles) God shit twice and there was Canada.

Canadian at Canadian bar: What'd you say?

Mexican at Canadian bar: Oh, um. Gosh it's nice, here's to Canada.
by Swampdonkey97 June 28, 2011
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77
a canadian is a person who lives in canada.
usually considered a 'sub-species', or the mutated people of the U.S.
they are usually found to pronounce words with 'oo' than 'o'. such as 'aboot', instead of 'about'.
canadians also treat curling like a real sport, and enjoy playing ice hockey 24/7
sometimes referred to as 'wetbacks' or 'hockey loving nuts'
those bastard canadians are playing hockey in the street again!
the damn canadian telling me to 'get-oot' of his garbage cans!
the mutant yank had a go at me today...bastard canadians
by neilganjaman August 02, 2008
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