A citizen of Canada who is often absurdly obsessed with their U.S. neighbors to the South. Always claiming superiority whilst at the same time demonstrating almost child-like naivety about all things American.

Generally politically left leaning, a Canadian relies heavily on their government for healthcare, social services, and "thinking for them". Most Canadians live mediocre lower-middle class lives and have a good basic education.

World-class excellence only rarely emerges from Canadians, although world-class self righteousness is quite common. If you think of Canadians as movie critics, not movie makers you start to understand them.

"Canadian" is derogatory slang for any under-achiever with a chip on their shoulder and a misguided sense of blame.
Canadians brag about their rationed second rate healthcare system, while paying outrageous taxes to support it. (High Income Taxes, $40 bucks for a case of the beer they brag so much about, ~$4.50 US / gallon of gas, even though they are sitting on the largest reserves outside of the middle east, 13% sales tax on purchases).

Oh ya, you have "free" healthcare. C-L-U-E-L-E-S-S !!

They brag about multiculturalism, because they have no identity of their own. Being "not American" is a pretty sad self definition, and "hockey, beer, crappy healthcare, and donuts" does NOT qualify as a definition either.

Bragging about Canadian accomplishments is also naive considering the accomplishments of other developed countries would span volumes, not fit on a single sheet of paper.
#canada #canuck #anti-american #hocky #beer
by ex-Canadian October 26, 2011
This country has only two things it loves:
1. Hockey.
2. Being owned by The British.

It is sometimes referred to as the Northern United States, but far sissier. Instead of telling the British to Fuck off like the US did, it bent over and continues to take it anally from our friends across the Atlantic with the funny accents.

Canada has only 5 professional hockey teams and none of them have won the Stanley Cup in years.

They have one National hero as opposed to the US who have thousands. That one hero is named Sidney Crosby, aka, Cindy.

He is a whining hockey player who enjoys being cornholed by beefy men. When he gets drilled another way into the boards and has a career ending injury, he will be a nobody and Canada will again only have it's love of being owned by the British to make them happy.
That guy wearing a Crosby jersey and taking it in the ass sure looks like Sidney Crosby. In fact it is Crosby. My god he is acting like such a Canadian.
#sidney crosby #cornholer #pork sword swallower #rod stewart #homo #pussy #love the british #patetic #bitches #fucked in the ass.
by Dick driller April 20, 2010
Code word used by women to refer to a group of substandard guys in a bar or club. (Not actually referring to people from Canada.)
Angela (calling Sami on her cell phone): So, are there are cute guys at Rouge tonight?
Sami: No, just a bunch of Canadians.
#ugly #unattractive #scrubs #losers #geeks
by cherryblossom September 15, 2007
People who try to crash a party that are trying to fit in and be cool.
Guy1 -"who the hell are those people"
guy2 - "i think they are canadians"
#gdi #candians #randoms #random people #party crashers
by Fresno State Student July 24, 2007
A country known for reasonably good beer, hockey, snow, and maple syrup. Gave the world some good actors, and damn funny comedians. Canada's greatest gift to the world: The Kids In The Hall.

Also a country full of arrogant, hypocritical snobs who greatly enjoy talking shit about other countries for no apparent reason. Childish internet tough guys with a massive, and entirely undeserved superiority complex that makes Americans seem modest by comparison. Canadians take third place in arrogance coming in second to France, with Brazil taking up first place.

When thinking of these people, think of Canada as America's little brother. For this metaphor, imagine America as the older brother that became a doctor, went off to war, and became a famous hero. Canada didn't go to college, because Canada wanted to smoke pot, and try doing stand-up comedy. Canada is great fun at parties, but get it drunk, and all Canada does is talk shit about America. Canada's overall good really, it's just those few times the more asinine part of Canada shows -like in the other definitions posted here- that make Canada look bad. If only someone could SHUT that part of Canada UP, Canada would be so much better for it, and there would be less awkwardness between Canada and it's brother America.

Also, it's rumored the country is so full of immagrants because any natural born canadians are born with extremely small, pine cone shaped genitalia making reproduction nearly impossible. This rumor is unproven, as no one wants to fuck a Canadian.
"Oh, you're a Canadian? Real powerful message you've got there with the maple leaf on your flag. 'Oh we're Canada! Don't mess with us or we'll... dry up and blow away!' What have you accomplished since... ever, besides making people laugh intentionally and unintentionally?"

Some Guy: "Oh, you're from Canada? Hehe, nice country eh?"

Canadian: "HEY, FUCK YOU BUDDY. WE DON'T SAY EH, EVEN THOUGH I JUST DID EH, BUT THAT WAS JUST TO POINT OUT THAT WE DON'T SAY IT EH. I'LL BET YOU'RE STUPID. I'LL BET YOU'RE FROM A STUPID COUNTRY, LIKE AMERICA. AMERICA SUCKS FOR NO REASON THAT I CAN NAME. FUCK ALL OF YOU, MY DICK IS BIGGER THAN YOURS. NO I WON'T PROVE IT YOU FAG. FUCKING AMERICAN FAGGOT THINKING YOU'RE BETTER THAN ME BECAUSE YOU'RE ALL FAMOUS AND ACCOMPLISHED AND SHIT, AND THE REST OF THE WORLD DOESN'T EVEN KNOW WHO WE ARE. AS SOON AS I FINISH MY BEER, I'LL KICK YOUR ASS. I'LL KICK YOUR ASS!!!"

Some Guy: "I'm from Vienna, actually..."

Canadian: "YEAH, WELL FUCK YOU TOO EH!"

Canadian: "We Jim Carrey, Mike Meyers, and Shania Twain! Ha!"

Other person: "Yeah, if you're so great then why'd all your celebrities move *away* from your country?"
#canada #canadian #beer #hockey #hoser #eh
by Mr Misanthrope February 27, 2007
1.People who think that their beer is more potent than America's because somehow, 5% of 12 ounces is more in Canada.
2. People who are proud of their macro brew, rubbishy, factory beer.
3. People who are smug because they don't make the mistakes America does simply because of their inertia and inability to do anything important in the world.
4. People whose only claim to pride is sports and comedians....because those are really important.
American: you guys are proud of this beer? It takes like balls!
Canadian: Yes but its stronger than the stuff you guys have down here.
American: Well it says 5% on the can, last time I checked 5% of 12 ounces is equal 5% of 12 ounces.
Canadian: Yeah we use a different system in Canada though, so its more alcohol in a 5% beer.
American: That makes no sense.
Canadian: Doesn't have to, I'm a Canadian, eh?
(This is a conversation that I've actually had, well not the last line, but that's essentially what he said.)
#smug #noob #idiot #hoser #loser
by Wrathgarr March 27, 2010
When a girl's period is dodgy, and skips months and such, it is said, it infact runs away to Canada to become a mountie or a lumberjack.
Also a way of refering to a period.
"Katy! Pain! Pain! Stupid uterus."
"Canadians?"
"Yep"

":( This is the third month I've missed, but I don't think I'm pregnant"
"Ahh, Canadians"
#period #on the blob #painters in #uterus #pain #blood
by Fduckyhuu(: May 29, 2009
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