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1.
Once dressed in ones'cabbage-kit one must now cam up. Camming up is the the fiendish art of making ones self invisible to the naked eye of a would-be enemy.
This is what you do.
Smear ones face with something brown,black or green often sold in tubes and tins and found in any good hardware shop. Next, adorn ones self with bits of grass,twigs,sack-cloth and twine thus becoming a sort of dull coloured christmas tree without the fairy lights.You are now completly invisible to the naked eyes of even the wiliest Taliban and can go about many cunning military tasks without the least hassle from the curlie-wurlies you are about to liquidate.
Private Jones, why are you cammed up?
Oooh sir, you were'nt supposed to see me,you've spoilt everything!!
Sorry Jones I don't want to be a kill-joy but it is nearly bed-time and you have'nt even touched your hot milk....or your ginger-nuts!

by Steve CHUTER November 28, 2006