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Calculus is how we know everything about everything, except sex, maybe.

It is also a name for the page and a half of indecipherable foreplay used in university physics textbooks before they give you the formula for something.
Engineering student: I forgot the formula for the volume of a sphere, but I was able to figure it out from the area of a circle using calculus.
Non-engineering student: I looked in the back of the textbook.
by Nick Bentzen April 11, 2008
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"Hey, in our Calculus homework, why does the derivative of x^2 = 2x?"
"magic."
by MikeWatch February 09, 2009
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The one reason to allow Starbucks to take over the world.
"I have CALCULUS first hour?! Someone give me a fucking latte..."
by kissinclosets September 04, 2005
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Calculus, which was discovered by Newton and Liebniz, nothwithstanding all credit being given to Newton, is one of the most beautiful forms of intellectual material. Calculus requires and emphasizes the development of new methods of thinking, and therefore it is not for the weak minded. Calculus has many practical applications including molecular and ecological biology, physics, engineering, social and political sciences, and business. After completing a very involved and thought-provoking problem involving differential equations or integrals, one might feel a certain "high."
Dude 1: "Yo man I got some bomb-ass shit that will fuck you up. Let's go blaze."
Dude 2: "Nah dude I got this problem for calc homework that involves differential equations and slope fields, and if I figure it out, my high will be stronger than the high off the strongest chronic"
by nirvanarageatm December 17, 2004
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Calculus is for anyone who ever complained that math isn't useful for anything. Calculus is a branch of mathematics that deals with problems involving changing rates. It has universal applications, finding its way into physics, engineering, medicine, economics, and anything that involves something changing. Calculus commands a great deal of notoreity from students learning it. But, like any form of mathematics, it is all pure logic, and if you understand it, it can be a very beautiful thing.
Newton and Leibniz both developed calculus on there own. Inventing calculus; now how fucking brilliant do you have to be to INVENT calculus? Pretty damn fucking brilliant.
by Fernando Martinez August 13, 2007
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Sorcery devised by Isaac Newton, one of the most prestigious and powerful sorcerers in the world.

The degree of a Calculus major higher than a Ph.D is a Doctorate of Sorcery (S.d)
When you need help in Calculus class you should look to your Sorcerer's Assistant for help.
by CalcS.d March 04, 2011
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7
1.The branch of mathematics that is stereotypically recognized as being difficult and intimidating owing to the fact that it sounds like the word "calculator".
"Don't expect to pass calculus unless your mental math ability exceeds that of a TI-83"
by Tapier December 04, 2009
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