Toby: your cat is hot and sexy
You: dah fuq?
Also you (speaking in a hushed voice to 911): I need help. I'm in a house with a catophile who wants my cat.
Much like the bibliophile (a lover of books), or audiophile (lover of high quality stereo), a caféphile is a person who dedicates significant amounts of time enjoying and thriving in a café, which may or may not serve coffee.