"hey son happy thanksgiving... look at your mother over there cuttin that wonderful turkey, what a butterkid, you really ruined her for me.... You know if she would have actually had that abortion, I would still have my hot wife and wouldn't have to pay for your dumb ass to go to college."

"Even though Jessica Alba is a butterkid, I'd still feed her my man-hammer and eat her shit cutter like a bowl of cereal"