"Jesus, what's the matter!? You look like you just sat on a tack!"
"UGH! PAIN! No, ow...it's just my butt swords *sigh*"
"Wtf is a butt sword ruhtard?"
"I don't know what it is...I get a sharp pain in muh butthole, like I sat ona fucking sword or something. It goes away after a few seconds but goddamnit it hurts!"
shoutout to my 43 yr old boss lady who named her ass-pain the same thing i did: butt swords.