|85.||God God Dammit Dammit|
From Mitch Hedberg's comedy bit about the vending machine with an HH button. He presses H twice instead of the HH button and gets the wrong snack.
Generally, an exclamation of extreme frustration.
Specifically, an exclamation of extreme frustration when you made the wrong choice based on insufficient or faulty information, usually said of something trivial like getting the wrong snack out of a vending machine.
"I was gonna get a candy bar; the button I was supposed to push was HH, so I went to the side, I found the H button, I pushed it twice. Fuckin'...potato chips came out man, 'cause they had a HH button, for Christ's sakes! You need to let me know. I'm not familiar with the concept of HH. I did not learn my AA-BB-CC's. God god dammit dammit." - Mitch Hedberg
Ah, man! I ordered the deluxe platter and it turns out it's a fuckin' veggie burger and a soy-based milkshake. God God Dammit Dammit!
She told me over the internet that she was a virgin, and I was all excited, but it turns out she's also really ugly. God God Dammit Dammit!
|86.||chuck norris:the real definition|
If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.more...
There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.
Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills People.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain.
There is no chin under Chuck Norris' Beard. There is only another fist.
Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.
The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer.
Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.
Chuck Norris is my Homeboy.
Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting.... CHUCK NORRIS GOES KILLING.
Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to spice up his steaks. (New!)
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacifi...
A bastardization of the word ketchup, for people who like to garnish their burgers and dogs and swear at the same time. Goes well with mouseturd.
Cecil: Hey! Ya got any katshit or mouseturd for these here burgers?
Gloria: <sigh> What are you, four? Can't you even speak without swearing?
Cecil: <rolls his eyes> Tse, I'm just kiddin', for fuck's sake! ... so do ya got any or what?
A man who's neither Fun nor has a Burger. all he does is yell "WOOOOOOO" get drunk and play on a computer. A nerd. A pussy whipped bitch. Someone who never has money of their own and depends on his fiance for drinks at the bar.
Shit! who told him we were going out tonight? Now hes gonna Funderburg it the whole time to get drinks.
What do u mean shes not letting him come? Hes gonna take that? God hes such a Funderburg!
A suburb of Cleveland, about 20 miles southwest of downtown. A bedroom community of lower middle class and poor whites, with a growing black population. Most residents commute to work in either Cleveland or Akron. A few upper middle class families and small factories support the tax base. Brunswick is famous for its trailer parks, discount stores, and cheap chain restaurants, including Applebees, Arby, Burger King, Taco Bell, McDonalds, Wendys, Gyro George, and Bob Evans. Also known for its plentiful bars, including a bikini bar and strip club, which provide most of the town's entertainment. Several churches, mostly of the conservative and evangelical variety, provide spiritual support to the Religious Right in town. In the Cleveland area, Brunswick enjoys a reputation as a "white trash" town, and is often referred to as "Brunstucky," as in Brunswick plus Kentucky. The high school, Brunswick High School, has a reputation for stoners, slackers, and wiggers. Local kids refer to the place as "B-wick."
Between Cleveland and Akron lies the not so quaint little burg of Brunswick.
A word that can be used to replace almost any verb, but which adds extra emphasis to whatever verb it is replacing, while also adding an extra touch of masculinity.
Person1. Hey do you wanna handle a couple forties tonight?
Person2. I think we will handle more than just a couple!!!
Person 1. Yeah man we just handled some Burger King a couple hours ago.
Person 2. Sweet man lets go handle some people on Halo 3!!!
Person1.Dude did you see how Mike handled that one chick at the bar? She was on his jock all night!!!
Person2.Yeah man, he handles all the time!!! Maybe with training I'll be able to handle the same way.
Person1.Hey were going to go to the beach today and handle a swim, you wanna come?
Person2. Naw man, I have work today, I have to go handle.
Analagous to their malevolent movie counterparts, the modern-day Gremlin is most often found on weekends in between the hours of 1800 and 0400. When in its passive form, the Gremlin is most often a well-intentioned and meaningful contributor to society. However, when provoked (usually by means of an ex-girlfriend or obnoxious fool at the bar), the Gremlin first becomes forlorn and introspective, then mischevious, and in some cases violent.
If you encounter a fully manifested Gremlin, you are advised to stay clear (especially when the Gremlin is in a doorway). If you feel the need to intervene, it has been said a trip to Burger King can passify the creature.
The Gremlin will return to its natural state by morning, usually feeling embarassed and apologetic.
"Ryan and Pat went so Gremlin last night. They painted Blaine's car!"
"If you don't call me back I am going to go Gremlin."