Bullshit speak consists of rarely-used words, words being misused, and on occasion, entirely made-up words.
Whenever LG's fridges, Sony's laptops, or Honda's airbags are blowing up in people's faces, you can be sure that a bunch of reassuring bullshit speak will follow, accompanied by a lot of out-of-court settlements.
We are placing the stock under review, as we parse out how much of the disappointing quarter results can be chalked up to cyclicality and how much was the result of structural issues that have longer-term implications.
We're taking a closer look at the tacky garbage that we sell, as we figure out how much of the losses this past 3 months are because we're selling Halloween decorations at Easter, and how much of it is due to to us hiring carpenters to make cupcakes.
Examples include, but are in no way limited to:
Price point = price
Strategically reduced = fired
Capital = ca$h money
Sold at profit = Ripped off
Presented a convincing argument = lied to/threatened
Net worth = Maximum ransom
Great time to buy = We're in the shitter
Great time to sell = I want more shares
Executive board meeting = Vacation in Cancun
Unanimous decision = only the CEO agreed
Profitable relocation = we're moving to China
Unforeseen expenses = another vacation in Cancun
Somewhat suggested = absolutely required
Socialist = anyone who disagreed
Acquire via purchase = Buy
It was in the contract = If you take this to court you won't win
Normal person: "Don't gimme that bullshitspeak. How much do I have to pay so you won't put up the high-rise?"