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Cruising for a Bruising 

someone who is pushing there luck and likely to become physically assulted for their actions
Rob) Can you please stop smoking in here, it stinks!

Dude) You're cruising for a bruising mate, do you wanna ask anything else?

Rob) <exits room>

Bruising the Banana

Similar to jacking off, but standing in a dark corner and sobbing while doing the act.
He really enjoys bruising the banana.
Bruising the Banana by mal1234 October 30, 2019

Ape braining

Ape braining is the act of making yourself look dumber than you actually are for comedic effect, this could be done by misspelling words, making intentional grammar errors, or just making very stupid statements.
Yo, why did you say all that stupid stuff, brian?

Ah, I was just Ape braining
To destroy or ruin something. Brune-ing. To brune
Dude, you suck... quit bruning all of our hacks.
Bruning by Adam Hobbs May 6, 2008

brining the turkey 

1. Typically occurs when a condom is left in place following a sex act for a prolonged period resulting in a 'pruning' effect of the male member. Intoxication usually precipitates the act of brining the turkey.

2. See soaking. May also be applied to the act of prolonged 'soaking'.
George came home three sheets to the wind and had his way with Betty. Unfortunately, he was so hammered he wound up "brining the turkey".

As he awoke from his drunken slumber George looked down and saw that he had "brined the turkey".
brining the turkey by pruned November 24, 2013
When you're so salty it feels like you're pickling yourself
I'm still brining about what that asshole said
Brining by toshkathemarowak August 6, 2017