Brockian Ultra-Cricket

Although it has been said that on Earth alone in our Galaxy is Krikkit (or cricket) treated as fit subject for a game, and that for this reason the Earth has been shunned, this does only apply to our Galaxy, and more specifically to our dimension. In some of the higher dimensions they feel they can more or less please themselves, and have been playing a peculiar game called Brockian Ultra-Cricket for whatever their transdimensional equivalent of billions of years is.

Lets be blunt, it's a nasty game, but anyone who has been to the higher dimensions will know that they're a pretty nasty heathen lot up there who should just be smashed and done in, and would be, too, if anyone could work out a way of firing missiles at right-angles to reality.

The rules to the game of Brockian Ultra-cricket, as played in the higher dimensions are strange and inexplicable. A full set of the rules is so massively complicated that the only time they were all bound together to form a single volume, they underwent gravitational collapse and became a black hole.

A brief summary, however, is as follows:



Rule One:

Grow at least three extra legs. You won't need them, but it keeps the crowds amused.

Rule Two:

Find one good Brockian Ultra-Cricket player and clone him off a few times. This saves an enormous amount of tedious selection and training.

Rule Three:

Put your team and the opposing team in a large field and build a high wall round them.
...

A game consisting mostly of beating others over the head with any sort of object with which one can get a fairly good heft.