British KnobJockey: It's half of Ireland
Irish Farmer: WTF am I suppose to do with half of Ireland??
British KnobJockey: I don't know, why don't you make a nice little republic for yourself
Irish Farmer: Nooo! Oi waant me fookin island back ya dorty brit! All of it!
Very small for it's population, Britain is one of the densest populated western nations. As the United Kingdom (including Northern Ireland), it is a member of the European Union.
Domestic problems in Northern Ireland have meant that Britain has had to deal with terrorism more frequently than most of its European counterparts. This issue has become less of a problem in the last 5 years, since the Northern Ireland assembly was set up and the IRA declared an indefinite cease-fire.
Once in possession of a number of Colonies, Britain now only holds a few smaller island colonies around the world.
Britain closest ally is still the USA, which it has held a special relationship with since the early 20th century.
John "I agree, it's not full of wankers for a start"
aka Chavland. (to the British)
aka Scotland. ("Fucking Britain! I'm fucking scottish" said jock)
Now im not writing this defination to boast about how great, britain is. All of you already know about this and the name of Great Britain further emphazises the greatness.
I am also writing this to give misguided souls a true discription of Great Britain and to spell out common misconceptions.
No 1: Britain and England are not the same thing.
England is England. Are we all catching that?
Great Britain is England, Scotland and Wales.
No 2: Not all British look like the "back end of a bus" (ugly)
Apart from myself and Price Charles that is.
No 3: Tony Blair is not a Wanker.
He is a tosser. (To the non-britons and idiots among you they are both detrogatory comments)
No 4: We dont all have crumpets at tea time.
Scones are favoured accompainment to a lovely Earl Gray.
In this short space of time you have now grown accustomed to Britain's traditions. I will now provide a translation for tourists on holiday to sunny Britain;
football = soccer
oh bollocks = oh shit
a bit of crumpet = a good looking girl
arseholes = assholes or alternatly the french
french = frogs or dirty bastards
"Come on them!" = "you my friend are ever so obnoxious and now you feel my wrath with the old traditional british duel. Jeeves fetch my dueling pistols!"
I am sure all of you will agree that these translations will certainly allow you to communicate more fluently with the average Briton. May i also add the last phrase; "Come on them" works most effectively with a cockney, scouse, brummy, geordie or scottish accent. Don't say it in the queen's english you will sound like a ponce.
I now come to end of my explantion for now i bid you farewell. And may God (who is British) jolly well bless you old chaps.
(I wonder if anyone has a sence of irony or pathetic fallacy)
Please don't start sending me hate mail about how the bible was originally written in latin. Or if you don't believe in a God. Or if alternatly believe in Allah, or them indian Gods or if you are currently intoxicated and believe you are God and that you can fly etc.
"God save the Queen and Britain"