Preposterous boast, but alas 

Replacement for “weird flex but ok” because it’s overused

Random person: “I didn’t lose my virginity because I don’t take L’s.”
Me: “Preposterous boast, but alas.”

Preposterous boast, but alas by Fresh Timbs October 29, 2018

burn the boats 

To burn the boats is a metaphor for destroying any safety net you have. To go all in and decide to go after it regardless of the outcome. It originated from the conquering of the Aztecs by Cortez. Once they reached the shore of Mexico Cortez decided to tell his men to burn the boats. Meaning they would either die or conquer the land.

Tim: “ man I can’t leave this job, I’ll be homeless. I hate what I’m doing but I can’t quit and find something better. It’s too risky.”

John fucking Rambo: “burn the boats you pussy.”

Tim: “ man I can’t leave this job, I’ll be homeless. I hate what I’m doing but I can’t quit and find something better. It’s too risky.”

John fucking Rambo: “burn the boats you pussy.”

burn the boats by DefyingLogic October 5, 2020

boastagram 

those offensive,gag inducing and "unreadable" seasonal letters sent out to tell the world how great you and your family are doing

Unfortunately, every Christmas my uncle sends us a boastagram with the latest on his kid's successes

boastagram by sheila in the car October 31, 2008

epic boatsex 

BEWAR OF GAME OF THRONES SPOILERS BELOW!!!

A meme originating from reddit after Game of Thrones leaks suggested that two beloved characters would have incredible sex with each other in season 7 episode 7 of the series on some sort of marine vessel. When the same script leaks came to be true of preceding episodes, it became more clear that "#EPIC BOATSEX" (or "BOATCEST") was imminent. As of August 21, 2017, the world awaits for the official airing of the episode.

Guy 1: hey bro stop shipping Jon and Daenerys, she's his aunt that's incest

Guy 2: STFU you fookin kneeler, #EPIC BOATSEX is happening whether you like it or not!!

epic boatsex by Bland212 August 22, 2017

coal boasting 

When a white woman brags to her friends about sleeping with dark skinned black men.

I overheard Donna coal boasting to Kelly about her hookup with the son of the Djibouti Ambassador.

coal boasting by zcl July 28, 2006

Boartsed 

To get screwed over due to no fault of your own or to wind up in a terrible situation due to bad luck or fate.

One friend: "My buddy got kidnapped from the mall and taken out to the desert and was anally raped for hours and left for dead!!" Other friend: "Oh man, I am sorry to hear he got Boartsed like that!"

Boartsed by piznacky September 20, 2010

Boats and Hoes

The first super smash hit by Brennan Huff and Dale Doback in the movie "Step Brothers" under the record company Prestige Worldwide.

Brennan and Dale took Dale's father's sailboat and used it to film the song. No one was steering the boat so it crashed into the shore and was demolished.

Dude, I just set "Boats and Hoes" as my profile song. That song is fucking awesome.

Boats and Hoes by ConeBone October 2, 2008