| 1. | Suburban Blues Dad | ||
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The Suburban Blues Dad --Sections 1-3:
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SECTION 1. Outward Appearance: Goatee/mustache combo, always trimmed to a neat level. Sometimes balding and still trying to rock the long hair. Over 50, but can be as young as 35. Summer: "cargo shorts," "mandals", wearing a polo shirt with an embroidered company logo on it. Seldom tattooed. Winter: Spotless Wilson's leather, recent tour t-shirt from Rush, Jethro Tull, and jeans are relaxed-fit and pre-faded. Also seen with "dockers" trousers. Seen in Brewpubs with cougar wives the only ones dancing. SECTION 2--Instrumentation: Guitars: Fender "strat" or "tele"--spotless '57 reissue Any Paul Reed Smith guitar Bass: Any Bass with over 4 strings, period. Chapman Stick (anyone who plays this should be shot anyway) Amplification: Trace Eliot, Roland Jazz Chorus, and/or Hartke equipment. Other Amps: All reissues. Drums--Too many and too expensive for ab... |
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| 2. | Hot for Face | ||
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Middle aged house bound mothers/wives, who, after watching amounts of their childrens Blues Clues, become secretly enamoured by Steve Burns. See that old cougar? Shes totally Hot for Face.
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| 3. | bluegar | ||
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An older woman, usually between 50 and 60, who frequents clubs or venues where blues music is performed. "Bluegars" tend to be highly intoxicated and overly aggressive toward younger men, especially if those younger men are musicians. Unlike "cougars" who are generally attractive older women, "bluegars" are almost never attractive. Man, did you see that bluegar in the leather jacket? She totally flashed us during the last set and keeps winking at me. She looks like she's been drunk since noon....
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| 4. | gingervitis | ||
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Having pale skin, thousands of freckles and a giant red beard. Takuku: "man, lyzol has a serious case of gingervitis"
Cougar: "No doubt homey, that bitch would burn under candle light". |
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