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3.
A guy or girl shits in their hand and gives a handjob.
Ayo laquesha, gimme a blonker real quick.
by Ben and Louie August 04, 2011
 
1.
A form of eyewear.

Similar to blinkers and totally invisible, blonkers are usually worn by car enthusiasts loyal to one particular car manufacturer and model. Not always easy to spot being worn until the wearer starts telling you how much their car weighs, it's power to weight ratio etc. A dead giveaway would be if they tell you how difficult it is to properly tune an NA engine.
"Dude, Honda built the Integra Type-R DC2 as a stripped out road going racer"

"Oh ffs, check out the blonkers on that guy....."
by w0dge August 02, 2007
 
2.
The act of defecating into a person's hand and then receiving a hand job from that person while the feces is in that hand. A male can even give himself a blonker by defecating into his own hand and then masturbating with said hand.
Bro, that girl's a keeper. Not only did she let me grab her tits last night, she gave me a blonker too!
by WowDad August 03, 2011
 
4.
Getting a blowjob while taking a shit.
Dude, I got a blonker yesterday.
by Greg September 10, 2003