The act of giving a blowjob while seated on a toilet (bonus if simultaneously pooping). The yin to a blumpkin's yang.
Guy 1: "I walked in on her while she was taking a dump and she blew me."
Guy 2: "Brah, you just got a blarkin!"
A Blarkin is a verb where a person is blue-balled, or where a person thinks they are going to get laid but it ends up failing, and in their outrage and pure drunkenness, the person punches a hole in the wall.
Sam: "What happened here?" (as he points to a hole in the wall
Derek: "Bob got pissed last night and pulled a BLarkin when Sandra turned him down"