Only seen at night, a bircher is a complex man who has intercourse with many women. Usually overweight, disgusting, and felonious. A bircher will somehow convince these "down on their luck" women to leave their bastard children at home at 5 a.m. to have sex with him. For some reason the way a bircher acts towards his women, makes them seek his approval at all costs. A bircher will often come home from work and have beer, cigarettes, and sometimes cash waiting for him on his doorstep. Most birchers live at home with parents, and have at least one illegitimate child. A bircher will die before ever admitting to mating with these fat fugitives. So don't bother calling him out.
Tim: Holy cow, that GIANT girl Billy fucked is approaching him at the bar.
Tony: He's IGNORING HER!!!
Tim: Haha, Birchered again!!! Billy is a son of a bitch. How does he do it?