fuck emo!!
fuck it in the ear!!
emo isn't music
if you spun richard simmons AROUND 300 TIMES AND FUCKED HIM IN THE PEE-HOLE TAKING BACK SUNDAY WOULD BE YOUR LOVE CHILD

Squirrels and coconuts. You spent your whole pathetic life working to whip together this little reunion like a Martha Stewart on acid, figuring to break my spirit... and for a second, it worked... you did it... you had me ready to leap up and impale myself on the nearest circus midget. But then something happened... a synapse fired open and I had what born-agains and alcoholics like to call a 'moment of clarity'. You ever see that old cartoon with the squirrel who's trying to eat a coconut? Chuck Jones, I think... this retarded squirrel finds this coconut and thinks that he's hit the giant acorn motherload- only, he can't crack the nut. It's too hard. So he gets a jackhammer, he throws it down stairs, runs it over with a truck... nothing. Finally, he pushes this monster up a gazillion stairs all the way to the top of the Empire State Building, and heaves it. Crack. Slowly, the shell peels back... and you know what's inside? Another coconut shell. That squirrel is in cartoon hell. That squirrel is me. Every time I get a shot at saving the world, or doing right or waving the truth and justice flag instead of gutting a guy, I do it... and every time, I get the shaft for my trouble. Everytime, there's another coconut shell I gotta crack. But just like that retarded squirrel... in another month or so, the cartoon reruns, and I try again. You did mess up my head by showing me what a dirtbag I've been in my lifetime... but that doesn't change the fact that I still try to be bette...

Look at the pussy on that girl, you could pick her up and carry her around by her suitcase handles.

Man, Steve cheats on his girlfriend all the time, he's a POONER
or
You're not going to go with us? Capitol "P" to the "U-ner"!
or
Kenny, you are a big, fat Pooner!

Dave: See the size of that thing Steve went home with last night? T'was towing it's own hotdog stand for crying out loud!
Mike: Doesn't surprise me TBH, he's a tubber, said sommat about liking the challenge of finding the hole.

After wrestling the chubby lump to the floor 'Trevor the Tubber' flipped fat Freddy over and slipped his little weener into his brown eye

" I had some delicious shitcakes today, whoever made them must have been an extraordinary shitcaker"

Did you give big sally a free willy?
Yeah fat chicks need love too...but they gotta pay.
No. No. No fat chicks. Ever.