A person (to hereto be referred to as X) who is angered such by the mere existence of people who don't believe they will exist in X's imaginary place when they cease to exist for not believing in X's imaginary friend, that X will, on encountering non-X, desperately make sure to communicate X's belief that all non-X will come to exist in X's imaginary place when they cease to exist for not believing in X's imaginary friend while X will come to exist in X's 2nd imaginary place when X ceases to exist as a consequence of believing in X's imaginary friend. But this is only the beginning of the paradoxes, as despite being angered by the mere existence of non-X, believes that most non-X represents the vast majority of the human race and will therefore exist in the first imaginary place when they cease to exist while only they and their friends will exist in the second imaginary place when they and their friends don't exist. Also paradoxically, X firmly believes in the critical importance of 10 arbitrary rules of conduct, even though they make absolutely no difference according to X's own beliefs as to which imaginary place an individual is comes to exist in when that individual ceases to exist. More paradoxes include the condoning of the crusades despite these 10 rules of conduct, the belief that not only the first religion that theirs grew out of but the third one that appended onto their own are both inherently evil while theirs is good, the belief that the guidebook containing these 10 rules of conduct and much other paradoxical material contains no paradoxes or self-contradictions whatsoever despite the ease of finding references that clearly point out numerous such self-contradictions, that every scientific theory of the last 500 years, except POSSIBLY excluding the theory of gravity, IS completely self-inconsistent, and yet that science somehow exists for the purpose of glorifying X's imaginary friend, and often appeal to the superficial knowledge of the parts of this science that doesn't flagrantly contradict with their beliefs in their attempts to deride the rest of this science which they denounce entirely.
How to deal with Bible-Thumpers:
Method 1: Tell him you don't agree with him. Then follow it up with explaining why everything he believes in is all a crock of nonsense invented by a cult of bronze-age savages if you're harsh, debunk his claims, one by one if intermediate and if you're gentle, just try to persuade him that nothing he can say can convince you to believe what he does:
A few weeks ago a bible thumper came to my door and said that fish fossils were found at the tops of mountains and that it proves that there was a great flood. I told him that is the result of continental drift and that they are hundreds of millions of years old and not only don't prove there was a worldwide flood thousands of years ago but prove that the world is at least 100 thousand times as old as he says. He then said that they dated to only a few thousand years ago. I in turn told him that if he tries to use radioisotope dating to convince me that the universe is 6000 years old, that he has lost the argument before he even began it.
Pros: you'll feel superior
Cons: You're going to end up arguing for a really long time

Method 2: Nod your head and agree with him
Have you accepted Jesus as your savior?
Say "uh huh" and nod your head.

Pros: potentially get rid of him fast.
Cons: Somewhat humiliating. Can backfire especially if he then asks followup questions and tries to get you to join his bible study group.

Method 3: Put a door knocker on your door that looks like male genitalia.

Pros: Bible thumpers may decline to knock on your door in the first place.
Cons: Your neighbors and the mailman may suspect you of being a child molester. Except that neighbor up the hill who drives the Prius with rainbows painted all over it. He'll probably ask you on a date.
by thesandor July 24, 2009
Top Definition
One who uses the Bible to attack/defame others' characters instead of as a guide to proper living. These people tend to be depressingly ignorant of anything else except the Bible and behavior as expected by the religious.
That Bible Thumper makes me so sick! Every day, he stands on my porch shouting about how I'm doomed to a flaming eternity in Hell just because I watch Crank Yankers and South Park!
by RatchetBoo September 27, 2003
Originating from typically southern US fundamentalist Christian sects given to evangelizing in a very outgoing, rumbunctious way, often characterized by a religious bigot standing on a street corner, with or without foam around his mouth, shouting about how we should all turn to Christ, whilst vigourously thumping his soft covered bible for emphasis.
Their actions usually do more harm than good to their cause and bring into disrepute and ridicule those more reticent Christians.
He's a bible thumper, so don't go near him.
He thinks everything in the bible should be taken literally; he's a foolish bible thumper.
by soreofhing July 06, 2009
The cause of many major wars, genocides, and crimes against humanity during the last 20 centuries.
The Middle Ages and the European colonization of Africa and the Americas were the glory days of the Bible thumpers.
by AYB July 18, 2003
A mega-right wing Christian wacko. Belives their life must be based on the Bible. The same goes for our goverment, it will be based on the Bible. Usually a homophobic, pro-life, redneck idiot.

See George W. Bush, John Ashcroft, Jerry Falwell, Pat Robertson, right-wing nutjob

Followers: Huzzah!
by AutisticPsycho November 14, 2004
An extremely fanatical religous zealot,
often characterized by their constant refences to the bible and their intent on converting everyone in a 100 mile radius.
They are essentially the same as Islamic fundamentalists, with the same religous zeal and fantacism.
"Hands that help are far better than lips that pray."
1. Religous Fundamentalist are contributing to the partisan bickerings that are hurting America.
by Michael C. L. June 28, 2005
An uber-christian. Quotes the bible. Also see George W.Bush
Ned Flanders is a bible thumper.
by Fucka January 03, 2004
a christian male or female whos view of right and wrong is completely out of wack.believes that every single thing in the bible is a law to be followed or you go to hell.(im christian, but these biblethumpers are just psycotic)
i bet a bible thumper would read that part of the bile that says you can enslave your family and would do it.

bible thumper:you cant watch south park!its against christianity!!your going to hell!
me:dude, where does it say in the bible i cant watch a tv show?
by the rekad playa July 12, 2004

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