A long and ardorous book with stories of an immortal who watches as the people he or she "created" violently stone each other to death, promote incest, and demean both women & homosexuals.
"Oh hey Natalie right? I see you're reading the bible. Did you know that it's actually written by a bunch of mentally ill, mushroom tripping, power hungry, elderly old white men?"
silence.

"Are you walking away from me Natalie?"
by Extrempotato December 26, 2014
Used by the Kardashians, meaning "I promise", "I swear" or "I'm not joking".
Kourtney: Yeah I saw them together yesterday.
Kim: No way!
Kourtney: Bible. They were at the mall.
by lileigh July 02, 2014
The Bible is the Word of God. It has many writings of apostles and prophets. It is the right way to live in Christians eyes. It has an answer to any question about life and its struggles.
Ever since I started reading the Bible, my life has changed for the better.
by Fortifiv3 November 04, 2009
Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth
Sam: I just became a Christian; what do I need to do now?
Max: You need to go get your basic instructions before leaving earth.
Sam: What?
Max: Your Bible!
Sam: Ooooh! I see.
by The Stinky Cheese Girl November 02, 2009
The most ingenious marketing ploy ever to have existed
Over 1 billion users can't be wrong!
by bbbbbbb June 18, 2005
A book of God's own words that when read reveals the deepest fear of all evil men, the truth of a Creator God and His Son, Jesus, the only salvation for mankind from an eternity spent in hell, to whom one day all men will bow and answer to. This revelation of the deepest fear of evil men can be easily seen and read in many of the other definitions for "Bible" written in the Urban Dictionary, for man demonizes and lashes out at what he fears.
The Bible verse Hebrews 4:12 states, "For the word of God is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword, and piercing as far as the division of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart."
by God'struthseeker February 23, 2013
An ancient text that holds religious significance to the Christian faith. In short, it outlines the Creationist theory the universe (establishing the existence of a higher power, known as God), explains the reason for many worldly realities through divine justification, speaks of Heaven (a place of peace and perfection), and elaborates on the life and significance of a man known in The Bible as the son of God, (Jesus). Christians also believe that evil people who do not claim Christ as their savior descend into Hell, a place of eternal suffering for the atonement of sins. The Bible and its content face controversy. Divine intervention cannot be proved. There is controversy over the Creationist theory (new-earth Christians have a timeline inconsistent with scientific age of the Earth). The fossil record and the record of the bible differ, etcetera. Both all controversies centered around the bible hold significance, and each side believes it is correct. Christians have the reputation of being pious and arrogant, and this is not true of all, but is a stereotype of what many Christians in the community of faith call "bad christianity.” Stereotypes exist around the other side of the issue, but they are not going to be addressed here because of definition length. To be transparent, I adhere to the Christian faith system. I do not disagree with most arguments from the other side of this issue. I simply believe in a higher power. I do not want this to sway my definition.
The Bible is an ancient religious text that has found heated controversy on Urban Dictionary.

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