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A highly popular fictitious literary work, almost as popular as the Twilight series.
Priest to congregants: We've noticed that this new Twilight book is turning out to be more popular than the Bible we've been teaching, so we've decided to teach Twilight instead.
Congregants: Fuck yeah!
by lifeinhd April 07, 2009
Used by the Kardashians, meaning "I promise", "I swear" or "I'm not joking".
Kourtney: Yeah I saw them together yesterday.
Kim: No way!
Kourtney: Bible. They were at the mall.
by lileigh July 02, 2014
One of the oldest and best selling pieces of fiction to this day; Full of great stories of how women are the root of all evil, zombies who can save your soul, magic tricks, virgins having babies, flying people that come from the sky, people hearing the same crazy voice, murder, incest, & robbery.

A book that is responsible for many major wars since it was written.

Many christians use it as a weapon against homosexuals and people who don't "live by God's standards" aka the crazy voice that everyone hears telling people to murder their children and so on
A coaster or physical weapon.
Luke: Have you read the bible?
Me: Yea, it was pretty funny. I like the part with the zombie. Ha! Good stuff.

Christians: Live your life by God and the bible!
Normal people: That's a good one! I would rather worship "Goodnight Moon".

Hey! Shut up or I'll throw that old bible at your big head!
by babymommatobe February 02, 2010
The most boring book ever.
Someone told me I should read the bible so that I could fully understand it, but I couldn't read past the first paragraph, it was so boring.

(Note: Christians will call you ignorant for not reading the bible, but will insult you for being so determined to prove them wrong if you do)
by oh shit i'm dead February 03, 2005
A propagandic book full of contradictory views on everything there is to do with life. It is the unfair standard to which the ignorant try to uphold.
There are more books to the bible in the vatican, but the Pope hasn't released them, that sycophant!
by Ashley October 14, 2004
A book which contains a lot of nonsenses and incoherent ideas with no back-up information at all. It' s also the biggest mind-manipulating tool ever.
Reading a Bible is a waste of time.
by SoullessDeath January 09, 2010
A great story book that Bible is. This great book of bullshit is used by controllers of the mass idiots and read to frightened people in 'Houses of God' on Sundays.
Atheist #1 - Wowee, the Bible sure does suck.
Atheist #2 - Yeah, let's go celebrate freedom from indoctrination!

p.s. How can it be a 'House of God' if God doesn't exist?
by Fredulom November 19, 2005