A rather famous work of fiction that took over 1500 years to write and edit and still didn't turn out well.

Comparable to the modern-day Twilight series for its unnecessary length and number of sequels; poor quality of writing; overuse of sparkles; and annoyingly melodramatic characters (see: God; see: Bella).

Both works are also more renowned for their obnoxious fanbases than their artistic merit (or lack thereof).
"Man, some Jehovah's Witnesses came to my door again yesterday. They scare me a little, but I don't know how to tell them I don't want their Bible."
"Pfft, Jehovah's Witness. I can handle them with one hand tied behind my back. It's the Cult of Edward you gotta watch out for."
by atheismiscooler September 14, 2009
Better ass cleaning source than toilet paper or baby wipes.
Wow the bible completely cleared up the aftermath of my beer shits.
by Marty Chonks April 04, 2006
That book that gets people kicked out of the library for putting it in the fiction section.
Sorry I can't go to the library today, I got kicked out for putting the Bible into the fiction section.
by The Final Facade November 23, 2014
a very poory-written, fallacious, self-contradictory book filled with falsehoods, absurdities, atrocities, and scientific impossibilities that was written by ignorant, primitive desert nomads from the Bronze Age
Can you believe that two billion members of the entire human species actually believe that the Bible is true? What's up with that?
by VenkmanMcFly May 17, 2013
A book which, though it has no observable evidence and often contradicts itself, is thought by many to be 100% accurate.

It's as if Harry Potter were believed to be true, only this time, Harry gets revenge by controlling the masses with his unseen magical powers. Oh, yes, and we can never see Harry, either, until it's too late and we're 6 feet underground.
Me: The Bible makes no sense!
Christian: Have you read it?
Me: Yes! That's why I know it makes no sense!

Christian: Read the Bible. It tells you that God answers all prayers.
Atheist: I prayed. He didn't answer my prayer.
Christian: Trust that he knows which prayers to answer, if any.
Atheist: O_o *Circular logic, anyone?*
by IceMetalPunk November 10, 2008
Many sheets of acid stacked on top of each other.
My friend just got a bible and he gave me a sheet from it!
by greyseraph December 03, 2006
One of the oldest and best selling pieces of fiction to this day; Full of great stories of how women are the root of all evil, zombies who can save your soul, magic tricks, virgins having babies, flying people that come from the sky, people hearing the same crazy voice, murder, incest, & robbery.

A book that is responsible for many major wars since it was written.

Many christians use it as a weapon against homosexuals and people who don't "live by God's standards" aka the crazy voice that everyone hears telling people to murder their children and so on
A coaster or physical weapon.
Luke: Have you read the bible?
Me: Yea, it was pretty funny. I like the part with the zombie. Ha! Good stuff.

Christians: Live your life by God and the bible!
Normal people: That's a good one! I would rather worship "Goodnight Moon".

Hey! Shut up or I'll throw that old bible at your big head!
by babymommatobe February 02, 2010

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