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The bible is widely believed to be the second most successful fictional work in human history, surpassed only recently by Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.

The corporation owning rights to the bible is currently being investigated in Brussels for monopolistic activities and anticompetitive actions including the Crucades, the Insquisitive, and the bundling of its latest version with Windows Media Player 9.

Officials called the first two counts baseless, arguing that the tragic loss of life associated with those incidents was in no way meant to dissuade the competition or retain market dominance.

They plead guilty to the third count.
Where can I find a copy of the bible? Historical fiction or science fiction / fantasy?
by David237635 April 22, 2006
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30
Let critical critics criticize. Voltaire predicted that the Bible would be rendered completely obsolete in his lifetime; less than one century later, Voltaire's house had been converted into a makeshift printing-room for Bibles, and his own writings were being sold for pennies.

"Infidels of eighteen hundred years have been refuting and overthrowing this book, and yet it stands today as solid rock. Its circulation increases, and it is more loved and cherished and read today than ever before. Infidels, with all their assaults, make about as much impression on this book as a man with a tack hammer would on the Pyramids of Egypt.

"When the French monarch proposed the persecution of Christians in his dominion, an old statesman and warrior said to him, 'Sire, the church of God is an anvil that has worn out many hammers.' So the hammers of infidels have been pecking away at this book for ages, but the hammers are worn out, and the anvil still endures. If this book had not been the book of God, men would have destroyed it long ago. Emperors and popes, kings and priests, princes and rulers have all tried their hand at it; they die and the book still lives."

"No other book has been so chopped, knived, sifted, scrutinized, and vilified. What book on philosophy or religion or psychology or belles lettres of classical or modern times has been subject to such a mass attack as the Bible? With such venom and skepticism? With such thoroughness and erudition? Upon every chapter, line and tenet? The Bible is still loved by millions, and studied by millions."

-H.L. Hastings
by BombSquad October 25, 2005
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31
pronounced: buy-bull.

a bunch of stories put into a book and deemed "holy".

believe it or you burn in hell.
atheist: i don't believe in your silly bible.
child-molesting priest: YOU GO TO HELL. YOU GO TO HELL AND YOU DIIIEEE.
by ChristineObscene February 29, 2008
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32
Noun: Bible bi’ble.

The Bible is the name given to the revelation of God to man contained in sixty-six books or pamphlets, bound together and forming one book and only one, for it has in reality one author and one purpose and plan, and is the development of one scheme of the redemption of man.

ITS NAMES.-- (1) The Bible , i.e. The Book , from the Greek "ta biblia," the books. The word is derived from a root designating the inner bark of the linden tree, on which the ancients wrote their books. It is the book as being superior to all other books. But the application of the word BIBLE to the collected books of the Old and New Testaments is not to be traced farther back than the fifth century of our era. (2) The Scriptures , i.e. the writings, as recording what was spoken by God. (3) The Oracles , i.e. the things spoken, because the Bible is what God spoke to man, and hence also called (4) The Word. (5) The Testaments or Covenants , because it is the testimony of God to man, the truths to which God bears witness; and is also the covenant or agreement of God with man for his salvation. (6) The Law , to express that it contains God’s commands to men.

COMPOSITION.--The Bible consists of two great parts, called the Old and New Testaments, separated by an interval of nearly four hundred years. These Testaments are further divided into sixty-six books, thirty-nine in the Old Testament and twenty-seven in the New. These books are a library in themselves being written in every known form of literature. Twenty-two of them are historical, five are poetical, eighteen are prophetical, twenty-one are epistolary.

There are at least thirty-six different authors, who wrote in three continents, in many countries, in three languages, and from every possible human standpoint. Among these authors were kings, farmers, mechanics, scientific men, lawyers, generals, fishermen, ministers and priests, a tax-collector, a doctor, some rich, some poor, some city bred, some country born--thus touching all the experiences of men-- extending over 1500 years.

UNITY.--And yet the Bible is but one book, because God was its real author, and therefore, though he added new revelations as men could receive them, he never had to change what was once revealed. The Bible is a unit, because (1) It has but one purpose, the salvation of men. (2) The character of God is the same. (3) The moral law is the same. (4) It contains the development of one great scheme of salvation.

ORIGINAL LANGUAGES.--The Old Testament was written in Hebrew, a Shemitic language, except that parts of the books of Ezra (Ezra 5:8; 6:12; 7:12-26) and of Daniel (Daniel 2:4-7,28) and one verse in Jeremiah (Jeremiah 10:11) were written in the Chaldee language. The New Testament is written wholly in Greek.

Smith's Bible Dictionary by Dr. William Smith (1884)

Title: Smith's Bible Dictionary
Creator(s): Smith, Dr. William
Print Basis: 1884
Rights: Public Domain
Today we are going to read from the Bible.
by John June 20, 2004
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33
Named for the Greek word "Biblios" ("Book") and considered the Holy Book by both Judaism and Christianity (which--at least at its inception--was considered a sect, branch, or spinoff of Judaism named "Messianic Judaism"--regardless of whether it was considered apostate, not-necessarily heretical but still heterodox, or legitimate/orthodox). The parts of the Bible that Normative (Mainstream, Non Messianic) Judaism and Messianic Judaism agree on are the books of Torah, Nevi'im, and Ketuvim--often called Tanakh. Where Judaism and Messianic Judaism divide is the point at which the New Testament (called "Hadashah" for "New" or "News") is eligible to be considered as part of Tanakh (written by some Messianic Jews as "TaNaKH" to include "Hadashah"; written as "TaNaKh" by some Non-Messianic Jews).
A respected or admired book that is not considered a holy book or even a religious text may irreverently or flippantly be called a, or even the, "bible" of its field, subject, or topic of study or exploration. For instance, one might call "The Communist Manifesto" a name such as "The bible of the Far Left," since Communists are very Leftist and subscribe orthodoxly to Karl Marx's and Frederich Engels' ideology as written in "Daas Manifesto".
by Nickidewbear June 14, 2013
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34
A propagandic book full of contradictory views on everything there is to do with life. It is the unfair standard to which the ignorant try to uphold.
There are more books to the bible in the vatican, but the Pope hasn't released them, that sycophant!
by Ashley October 14, 2004
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35
The longest fiction story ever written. Continuoulsy confused with what people think they should believe and do. It is used in church to brainwash the people that go. used by religious people who dont understand that religion is fear and fear is control. good for starting fires.
"why people think the bible is true confuses the fuck out of me"
by Aiso May 22, 2008
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