The Bible is one of the oldest and most distributed books in the world. In the Middle Ages people were killed for reading or translating it, but today the Bible is readily available. Without the Bible we would not know the author--Jehovah--and what he purposes for mankind. The 40 different Bible writers were used by Jehovah in the same way someone would dictate a letter to a secretary. It gives the history of mankind, guidance, and exciting prophesy regarding the near future. The overall theme of the Bible is the "Kingdom of God"--the solution to man's problems.
Dude, before you bash the Bible try reading a little first.
by Mack C March 03, 2007
A 2000 year old book of pure fiction, popularly used by right wing Americans to backup their close-minded views of society. Despite the complete lack of evidence for anything contained within it's pages, many people still continue to worship this book, just because it happens to be old.
Wow, that Bible sure makes good toilet paper
by Monkey-Boy January 21, 2006
Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth, as said by the Genius (GZA); recognize Christ thru this book, what are you afraid of?
It proper name is the "Holy BIBLE"
by ac degrees November 22, 2004
A fictional book that millions of people believe is true.
The bible is one of the most known fictional books.
by SG_dude February 09, 2007
This critically acclaimed and book (also referred to as "The Holy Bible") is one of the all-time bestselling science fiction/fantasy/bullshit novels. It has even sold more copies than Harry Potter, making it the most successful work of fiction ever. The book follows the chronology and adventures of "God", a seemingly omnipotent and ubiquitous fellow. This book has been highly controversial, as it is involves murder, rape, incest, and other sorts of epic shit. It has been so successful that it has even managed to garner its own cult following (for some reason calling themselves "Christians"). Many gullible dumbfucks have referred to this book as a scripture of their "religion", whatever the hell that is. It is believed that "God" created the universe with no other reason than to play a game of "The Sims" against his brother-in-law turned arch-nemesis, Satan.

Strangely, as well as being the bestselling work of fiction, it is also one of the most critically panned pieces of shit ever; it has gained notoriety for having been given a -28% approval rating by Rotten Tomatoes, and the only thing on their site labeled "utter buffalo shit".
Bob: Hey, did you read the new book, "The Holy Bible"? More like "The Holy Shit This Sucks Monkey-Fuck Bible". It sucked hard. Sucked ass through a straw. It was like fuckballs dipped in chocolate. It was like puke up a donkey's ass. What a shitload of motherfucking bullfuck! I'd rather eat snot and diarrhea vomited out of a buffalo's dick. This thing is such a piece of fuckin' shit. Yeah, you're better off fucking shit than fucking with this fucked-up shit. You don't know shit about how fucking shitty thing fucking shit is. It's so bad it sucks. It's so fucking suck it fucks!

Assfuck "Christian": That book isn't new, it's been around for thousands of years, you shitpie!

Bob: Really?

Assfuck "Christian": YES! It's THE BIBLE! MY RELIGION!

Bob: Jesus fucking H. Christ! W'th'fuck'sa religion?
by Arty Foul August 13, 2008
A religious book that is found in many churches and book stores. It is updated many times. It talks about death, cruelty, greed, the difference between Heaven and Hell and threatens you to believe in Jesus and God or you'll go to hell. Most of it is false. It was made only to keep the world in order and teach to fear the unknown. How is a book like this legal, anyway?
"I read the BIBLE in church today."
"The BIBLE scares me!"
by Lauren Mizell April 14, 2007
The fictional use of christian mythology used to inspire fear, and value of poverty in young children.

When used in conjunction with candy it also serves as bait for catholic priests.
Want to read the bible before sunday mass, i have some candy.
by Brandon Geveshausen April 22, 2008

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