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Basic Instruction Before Leaving Earth
person 1- what shud i read?

person 2- the B.I.B.L.E. or bible

person 1- y?

person 2-because its ur basic instruction before leaving earth! DUH
by jesus rocks ;D August 02, 2010
God's progressive self-revelation to humanity
God reveals God's-self from Genesis to Revelation. Throughout the 66 Books in the Bible God through Jesus Christ and the working Holy Spirit reveals to humanity what God likes and dislike. It is up to humanity to follow God's guidelines or not.
by Rev Shauna August 04, 2008
The Good Book. The number-one selling book of all time. The living, breathing, inspired Word of God. God's message to us on how we can find the only way to him---through Jesus his Son, so we can obtain salvation. Composed of the New and Old Testaments and 66 smaller “books,” the Bible was written over thousands of years from Moses (who wrote Genesis) around 3000 BC to John the Revelator (who wrote Revelation) at the end of the first century. The general theme of the entire Bible, from Genesis to Revelation, is that human beings are stuck in the middle of a spiritual war between God and Satan for the souls of mankind. Luckily, the Cross of Jesus Christ, the central figure of the Bible, allows human beings to choose which side they will swear allegience to. The Old Testament looks FORWARD to a coming Messiah and the Cross for our redmeption, while the New Testament looks BACK at the Cross. The Bible opens with the creation of the Universe and “the fall” of mankind and finishes with the Great White Throne Judgement, when all evil (including Satan and his followers) will be thrown into the Lake of Fire, putting an end to evil once and for all. The Bible is used for reporoof, for correction, for teaching and instructing in the way that human beings need to live. The Bible calls itself a “sword,” proving that it is very divsive among people. Yes, the truth will be divisive but effective to save the lost. People have tried to disprove it for centuries but it will never happen. Its message will NEVER be destroyed as it claims, proving to be the true Word of God Almighty.
The Bible is the guide for human beings to live by so that we may have hope.
by krock1dk December 11, 2007
Noun: Bible bi’ble.

The Bible is the name given to the revelation of God to man contained in sixty-six books or pamphlets, bound together and forming one book and only one, for it has in reality one author and one purpose and plan, and is the development of one scheme of the redemption of man.

ITS NAMES.-- (1) The Bible , i.e. The Book , from the Greek "ta biblia," the books. The word is derived from a root designating the inner bark of the linden tree, on which the ancients wrote their books. It is the book as being superior to all other books. But the application of the word BIBLE to the collected books of the Old and New Testaments is not to be traced farther back than the fifth century of our era. (2) The Scriptures , i.e. the writings, as recording what was spoken by God. (3) The Oracles , i.e. the things spoken, because the Bible is what God spoke to man, and hence also called (4) The Word. (5) The Testaments or Covenants , because it is the testimony of God to man, the truths to which God bears witness; and is also the covenant or agreement of God with man for his salvation. (6) The Law , to express that it contains God’s commands to men.

COMPOSITION.--The Bible consists of two great parts, called the Old and New Testaments, separated by an interval of nearly four hundred years. These Testaments are further divided into sixty-six books, thirty-nine in the Old Testament and twenty-seven in the New. These books are a library in themselves being written in every known form of literature. Twenty-two of them are historical, five are poetical, eighteen are prophetical, twenty-one are epistolary.

There are at least thirty-six different authors, who wrote in three continents, in many countries, in three languages, and from every possible human standpoint. Among these authors were kings, farmers, mechanics, scientific men, lawyers, generals, fishermen, ministers and priests, a tax-collector, a doctor, some rich, some poor, some city bred, some country born--thus touching all the experiences of men-- extending over 1500 years.

UNITY.--And yet the Bible is but one book, because God was its real author, and therefore, though he added new revelations as men could receive them, he never had to change what was once revealed. The Bible is a unit, because (1) It has but one purpose, the salvation of men. (2) The character of God is the same. (3) The moral law is the same. (4) It contains the development of one great scheme of salvation.

ORIGINAL LANGUAGES.--The Old Testament was written in Hebrew, a Shemitic language, except that parts of the books of Ezra (Ezra 5:8; 6:12; 7:12-26) and of Daniel (Daniel 2:4-7,28) and one verse in Jeremiah (Jeremiah 10:11) were written in the Chaldee language. The New Testament is written wholly in Greek.

Smith's Bible Dictionary by Dr. William Smith (1884)

Title: Smith's Bible Dictionary
Creator(s): Smith, Dr. William
Print Basis: 1884
Rights: Public Domain
Today we are going to read from the Bible.
by John June 20, 2004
A ream of the most absorbent toilet paper ever devised.
After tearing out a page from the Gideon bible, she reached back to wipe excrement over the utter excrement written on the bible page.
by CatholicSchoolSurvivor July 24, 2008
Another way of saying "I swear" or " seriously". Usually said in front of sentence.
Bible, I think I could just go off and fight that stupid bitch who talks shit!


Bible! I think i just heard someone in the other room!
by i<3marquisss June 01, 2009
A book created by some bishop named Pyrenaeus (assuming I spelled that right) consisting of four gospels that happened to not contradict each other out of the other thirty some-odd gospels that did. He used only four gospels because he believed that four was a nice number i.e. four ways that the wind can blow, four elements, etc. He, along with several other christians, tried to burn the other gospels along with the gnostics who still believed in them in support of his new book. Although he failed in eliminating the competion, he did succeed in creating one of the greatest fictional works in history that has touched billions (some harder than others) in ways that are unparalled to any other book.
If all one has to do is put a book together like the bible to rule the world and/or cause chaos, than what on Earth am I doing with my life?
by national geographic watcher June 02, 2006