The ultimate Spark Note to help one pass the great test of life.
Popular versions of the Bible include: NIV, King James, and Gideons.
by nethcev! August 23, 2006
A story book written over centuries. A fictional tale about a man named jesus.
Teacher: WHo can name a fairy tale?
Little Arthur the Atheist: The Bible
God: Blasphemize this biznatch!
by skah January 17, 2005
When you're such a pathological liar that every time you say something of importance everyone asks you.."do you swear on the holy bible?" In order to confirm the truth... saying the shortened "bible" just minimizes the length of the asking while not compromising its purpose.
"Man, I fucked that 300 pound chick last night." - Me
"Bible?" - My friends
"Bible!" - Me
"Holy fuck, I thought you were lying about that, you're sick dude" - My friends
by JCrummer May 05, 2009
Ancient Holy Book used by Christians. It contains the Old and New Testaments.
The bible is not literally real, its just stories.
Pages from the bible are often used in Prison to roll Joints.
by BadAsCan September 19, 2007
The holy book to the Christians. It is divided into two parts, the Old Testament and the New Testament, and is suppossedly writtten by God*. The bible is compossed mainly of various stories and rules that many Christians believe are true.

Though it is read to young children in Church and in some churched-runned schools, the bible contains mature contents such as gore, violence, and sex. If made into a film(the entire thing), it would be rated NC-17. Not reccomended for anyone against the mentions of orgies, anal sex, swapping partners, and sex in general.

True, the bible has been, and still is, used as propaganda by various institutions. Wars, burnings, stonings, many interuptions of my lunch by christians(protestants) looking for converts have been a direct consequence of the people using God to justify horrific actions(see political theology). The above does NOT mean it is evil. The blood of the dead and tortured is on the hands of those who are soulless enough to use the bible to control the masses for their own gain or percieved God's gain. By the way, the bible is not boring. It is full of gore, death, action (in some of the better books), and stories. If classified into genres, it would fit in every category. I personally do not believe in the bible as the word of God and to all the Christians who are going to say read the bible, I have read EVERY page of the New Testament and most of the Old Testament. I do not think that bashing either side will solve anything. If I were to follow every impulse and urge to say everything on the top of my mind, I would be burned at the stake already, or at least have 'traitor', 'demon', and 'bitch' painted in blood on my locker. So chill.... And yes, the bible is essentially treated cellouse and can be used as toilet paper, paper airplanes, etc., but I reccomend against it.

"Take is as thy will" -n/a

"Religion is the opium of the masses"
-Marx (Karl, not Groucho)
P1: Hello, is that the bible you are reading? I thought you were atheist.
P2: I am just reading it as I would read any other book.
P1: I tried reading it, but I didn't get the parts where God burned down Sodom. Weren't they just partying too loud?
P2: Errrr...(tries to explain it without being vuglar and fails)...Go to the Health teacher. He will explain everything.

---Witnesses account seeing person1 running out of the Health teacher's office horrified 10 minuted later.
by Stephen Jiu September 03, 2007
1) The Hebrew and Aramaic scriptures of Judaism (Old Testament) and Greek scriptures of Christianity (New Testament). 2) The holy scriptures of a particular religion, i.e. the Qur'an in Islam. 3) A work of great authority in an area of study.
Chilton's is the auto mechanic's Bible.
by LudwigVan November 13, 2003
a term used to express the utmost truth. often used by the Kardashians
Kim: Did you make out with that guy last night?
Khloe: No way!
Kim: You swear?
Khloe: Bible.
by iamronburgundy June 22, 2011

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