Those of you who hate the bible don't understand it. God doesn't hate the people who hate him . He loves them and hopes they repent,but if they don't where does he send them? Sin is not allowed in heaven, so to his regets they have to go to Hell.It's not God's fault though the man and the woman ate the apple (sinned) and weren't pure so God couldn't allow them eternal life. Its MAN'S FAULT. And duh one man didn't write the bible it was writen by many men over thousands of years who believed in and expierianced the love of God. And Jesus WAS and IS real. I pity your ignorance and pray for your salvation. God loves you.I guess sooner or later you will find out if God is real or not!But for now please believe me that he is,was, and will always be.
Food for thought: The Bible doesn't give bad advice! Don't kill,lie,cheat,steal,rape,and etc, Unless you like it when people lie to you, you like it if your boyfriend or girlfriend cheats on you,You like it when people steal from you,or raped you. Do unto others as you wish done to you.
God Bless xoxoxo Niecea
Then later, God gets uber pissed about Pharaoh Hitler pwning the jews, so he gives Moses some cheat codes for the universe. Moses stages a mass slave runaway and opens up the sea so the Jews can run through, closing it behind him and drowning the ancient Nazis; God Lol'd.
Some other less important shit happens, mostly composed of a bunch of faggots writing emo poetry about god for him to fap to.
New Testament: God finds Mary sleeping and just sticks the tip in and drops his load. Nine months later Jesus is born. For his 13th birthday God gave Jesus more cheat codes than he gave Moses, plus the rcon password for life, and some CP.
Later, Jesus became a hard core ska punk and trolled the old school jews hard. They got super pissed and permabanned him with a cross and some nine inch nails. They forgot he had god mode turned on though, so he waited 3 days and hit vid_restart on the rcon panel, came back into life's server, and laughed at the Jews.
After that, 3 more guys tell the same story, then this faggot Paul wrote an assload of shit about sex being evil and a bunch of other stuff that Jesus never fucking said but everybody listened to Paul anyway because they're stupid.
- By Noah McHugh
"The priest read the bible alone with the children. He must be a good guy and not a pedophile"
God made, Adam bit, Noah arked, Abraham split, Joseph ruled, Jacob fooled,Bush talked, Moses balked, Pharaoh plagued, people walked, sea divided, tablets guided, Promise landed, Saul freaked, David peeked, prophets warned, Jesus born, God walked, love talked, anger crucified, hope died, Love rose, Spirit flamed, Word spread, God remained.
- A dictionary.