Top Definition
an old timmer comedian born in fucking 1930 he is still famous but not as much as in the cunts old time he tells jokes about his mother-in-law he is crude,sick and what he does the most to make his acts offensive racism thats what the fans look for out of him he is very fat hes brought out
alot of videos(such as bernard bites back,banging with manning,bernard manning shooting from the lip,bernard manning on the job,a dirty evening with bernard manning and more)hes brought out one DVD(an audience with bernard and friends:starring david beckham,and victoria beckham)hes into football he supports manchester because thats where he was conceived from he has a fan club in manchester called the embassy hes aloud to smoke,and drink there he ussually talks to the audience there he is turning old so he wont be doing alot of gigs anymore(so sorry if you have just known about him and think he might be a comedian for you)he swears as much as chubby brown uses the word cunt as much as him so manning your fucking brilliant the comedian john thomson on a DVD called 'steve coogan live 'n' lewd' did an impersonation of bernard manning and changed the name of him to 'bernard righton' anyway bernard your the bollocks
bernard manning:i went into this pub right and this guy i seen was well pissed when he came in and he said 'you'se on the left are a shower of bastards and you'se on the right are a shower of cunts' and one guy on the left said 'iam not a bastard' he said 'well go over there with the cunts then'.LOL
i once bought my kids for christmas a set of batteries and it said at the back toys not included.LOL
iam glad iam not bisexual i would hate to be put down by men the way i do by women.LOL
by Jackroll September 15, 2006

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